Man Rules!

[Reddog80p]

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down!


Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

[Sovran]

I know one thing for sure - some people are going to be in big trouble if they answer this!!!

[Rbishop]

Not me...they are all correct...women should pay attention...oh, wait...that won't happen, they are to busy trying to change things that can't be changed...unless it is a diaper.

[mudskippers]

ROFL! THEASE ARE GREAT! :y220e:

I like # 1 :rofl:

[Sammie7]

"1. Christopher Colombus did NOT need directions, neither do we."

Christopher Colombus thought he was in India...he wasn't...:screwy: :cheers: :p:

[Malbri]

The Man Rules



At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down!


Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.
well you should be!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
But it looks neater when its down
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.
thats why we do it...
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Unless thats not the answer we want...
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.
But many of them probably dont fit, or we just have them becuase we just bought it and decided it was ugly. Just because we have them doesnt mean we can wear them
1. You have too many shoes.
NONSENSE.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -


to give them a bigger laugh.

.

[Rbishop]

"1. Christopher Colombus did NOT need directions, neither do we."

Christopher Colombus thought he was in India...he wasn't...:screwy: :cheers: :p:

So, you are that old and knew that was what he thought or you are repeating some one else's theory...

[Rbishop]

Just say the word Redd, and I'll delete the unecessary posts....

[Sovran]

Pfff Bish - you wouldnt dare - you would be lynched!

[Sammie7]

So, you are that old and knew that was what he thought or you are repeating some one else's theory...

Theory my foot...Indians AKA Native Americans...Sound familiar?

Anyway, what's wrong with repeating other people's theories? I for one believe in gravity...If we didn't build on other people's ideas we would never get anywhere. We would have to always start from scratch. I hope you never learned anything from anybody in your life; otherwise, you are being hypocritical. ;) How would you like to have had to create a whole new way to communicate with those around you when you were born? To create your own language. Figure out how to create fire...Back to the caveman days...:nilly: It's way too late...Need sleep...:uhoh:

[Sammie7]

Just say the word Redd, and I'll delete the unecessary posts....

Don't forget to take off yours as well...:thumbsup: :nutkick: :22_yikes:

[Rbishop]

Theory my foot...Indians AKA Native Americans...Sound familiar?

Anyway, what's wrong with repeating other people's theories? I for one believe in gravity...If we didn't build on other people's ideas we would never get anywhere. We would have to always start from scratch. I hope you never learned anything from anybody in your life; otherwise, you are being hypocritical. ;) How would you like to have had to create a whole new way to communicate with those around you when you were born? To create your own language. Figure out how to create fire...Back to the caveman days...:nilly: It's way too late...Need sleep...:uhoh:


I have no issue with repeating some one else's theories, as long as you state that, that is what you are doing. To state the theory as fact in a direct statement is misleading and false.

You don't believe in gravity because of a theory, you accept the theory because you see the theory's results and the conclusions of predictions based on it.

I am never hypocritical, please show evidence of it before calling me names.

[Rbishop]

Don't forget to take off yours as well...:thumbsup: :nutkick: :22_yikes:
The unecessary ones by definition would be from posters of the non-male gender.

[Sammie7]

I have no issue with repeating some one else's theories, as long as you state that, that is what you are doing. To state the theory as fact in a direct statement is misleading and false.
Now, let's just think here. How wise would a person be to assume that I, by logic and critical thinking, am someone who was alive at the same time as Christopher Columbus? Is that even rational? Now if a person can't even think that far, how do you expect me to be responsible for any other crazy things they think or believe?:nilly:

You don't believe in gravity because of a theory, you accept the theory because you see the theory's results and the conclusions of predictions based on it.

You see there? You are giving me way too much credit. Me making predictions and conclusions?:screwy: :p:
I am never hypocritical, please show evidence of it before calling me names.

I said that if you fit the definition of what I was saying you are hypocritical, I didn't call you hypocritical otherwise. That is why I said "otherwise" don't read around my post to make it say what you want. :nono: :rolleyes:

[Sammie7]

The unecessary ones by definition would be from posters of the non-male gender.

And who wrote this definition and where can it be located...so that I can erase it...?:lipssealedsmilie: Will you be doing gender checks personally...?:p:

[johnlarson66]

some other rules.

Do not ask us about your new haircut or if we noticed. We liked it before you cut it. Don't cut your hair.

Yes, those pants do make your butt look big.

We operate the remote. Do not touch it. You can have a remote when the washer and dryer have one.

A quick question. Why do brides wear white? Because you want the dishwasher to match the fridge.

[jessicar613]

:popcorn:

[clown-lover]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks.. I love this.. I'm gonna get peace and quiet for at least a day.. The GF got so mad she left for her mothers until tomorrow... LOL

[Hooked Newbie]

Women soo don't understand Man Rules, fortunately our rules are easy...

1. Yes Dear
2. No Dear
3. I think you should buy both Dear

[Sovran]

Lol- you are such a good boy, and quick learner too!

[Hooked Newbie]

Yes Dear...

[Temo]

some are righ some are wrong(imo)

[Lady G]

LOL...this did make me laugh quite a bit actually!!

The unecessary ones by definition would be from posters of the non-male gender.
BLAH....whatEVER:nono:
Yes Dear...
OMG:rofl: :laugh: :lol2: :lol: :cheers: you are TOOOO funny (LYNCH HN)

[Reddog80p]

LoL HN...Stand up, don't give in. They'll come around eventually! :rofl:

[Radar]

The Man Rules


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down!


Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.
Youre not:jaw-dropping:
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Hay, just take the seat off. just remember there are times you need the seat down.Then you can see how it feels.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
O.K. shopping day.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Don't ask girls. just go get what you want your self.HMMM (new car)
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
??Not tonight dear I have a head ache.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
Thats because you have short memories.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
What ever is easiest for you right.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. Its not our fault you can't follow simple instructions.


If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
D.I.V.O.R.C.E. And I get custody of the big screen.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
We've noticed.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.
Shopping every Sunday.
1. You have too many shoes.
Going shopping again next Sunday.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
I'm glad you like camping.Maybe your buddies would like to join you.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -


to give them a bigger laugh.
:rolleyes: :screwy: :nilly:




I'm glad you voiced your opinion that man rules. I hope you enjoy your camping trip tonight.:D

[Sovran]

LoL HN...Stand up, don't give in. They'll come around eventually! :rofl:

Leave him alone - he is coming along just fine :naughty: