Ethical Dilemma with Pet...

[OgreMkV]

I have several cats and a 13 month old son. One of my cats is becoming... unpredictable. Night before last, she was sleeping on the couch next to me. My son and wife were in the other room, the other cats were all asleep. Tango (the cat in question) suddenly woke up and jumped at. She bounced off my face and took off. She pounced on one of the sleeping cats and beat the crap out of that cat before taking off again and hiding in her box.

I've got a lovely set of scratches on my face, two of which are actually on my eyelid (I wear glasses fortunately).

Tango has been becoming more and more (for lack of a better word) nuts lately. We aren't ignoring her or anything, we spend personal time with all the animals and each other (grooming, treats, playtime, etc).

Tango is almost ten years old. She's a little chunky, but not fat. She does have some medical issues. She's had to have all but four teeth removed because of a persistent gum infection. She doesn't have trouble eating, but a fair amount of food comes back up. Other than that and being bug house nuts, she's fine.

Like I said, she has become more and more aggressive to the other cats. Even I (who literally raised her from birth (she was born in my shoes)) have to approach her slowly and carefully. If she's startled, she tends to run or attack, with attacking becoming more common. This has been the case for at least two or three years now, not just because of Xander.

Now for the dilemma... do we put her to sleep? I do not believe it would be a good idea to place her in another home. The stress of that could send her totally off the deep end and perhaps cause someone else some real pain. The animal shelter is the same problem.

I don't know what I expect from you guys... justification maybe. I love this cat. She was mine. My lap cat. Even now, provided that no one in the house moves and there's no noise, she will come up and sit in my lap. But as soon as anything happen, she freaks out.

I'm becoming afraid of her (in an unpredictable sense).

So what do you guys think?

[Squawkbert]

It's her or the toddler.
Where's the dilema? It sucks, but I see no dilema.

[kuhliloach]

It's her or the toddler.
Where's the dilema? It sucks, but I see no dilema.

Is it getting enough sleep?


(You're right about no dilemma, the cat should stay instead.(not that I would reccomend putting a toddler to sleep!;))

For one thing you could be the only thing that cat has in it's life for support and putting it to sleep because of it's differences doesn't make any sense.

[judgemax]

Honestly, this is a secision, you will need to make on your own.

My first advice though, ( cause , i AM FULL OF IT) Would be to discuss this with the vet, and see if maybe there might be a reason ,kitty has gone skitzy, If the vet thinks that this is manageable, and you love the cat, if its an indoor cat, why don't you consider getting it declawed?..That way, it will lesson the chances of the baby getting hurt. yes, i am aware that it can still bite, however, I am also a firm believe in teaching children the right way to deal with animals. so it could be a learning lesson for them to share?

On A side note, how does the cat react to the baby now?..and vise versa?..and, if you are fearful, the best thing you can do, is take him for his eternal rest, IMHO, that way, you have no negative feelings should something go awry, you can enjoy the fact that you gave him a needed home, ..I know its hard, .and your in my thoughts with this heavy decision~ julz

[clown-lover]

I agree with Julz on this one.. (I know surprise surprise..) But it almost sounds like your cat is having seizures of some sort. I had a cat that did something similar and thats what our vet came up with anyway. But it was found out that she also had cataracts and glaucoma to top things off and it was just more humane to put her out of her misery. It wasn't easy but I would rather do that then see an animal suffer in pain.

[Rbishop]

I don't envy your decision that you are facing. Our recent call to put down our 13 yr old boxer was a tough one. It was more of an issue of illness and pain, but still hard to do.

I would worry about who will get harmed next. Everyone knows how young children like to be with pets and it sounds like your cat doesn't even take well, at times, to you approaching it. I think you know the right call.

[Squawkbert]

While I think JM has a point and I agree that a vet needs to be consulted, I would never suggest to anyong that they get their cat declawed. I know it's a pretty common procedure, I know the benefits & risks.

I'm speaking as someone who has assisted in the procedure a few times and had to help cats recover from it. Having been there and done that, I will never do it to any cat I ever own, nor would I recommend it to anyone.

[Catpicklesdog]

I agree with JM as well (apart from the declawing bit - it's illegal over here). It does sound like it may be having seizures or perhaps it's losing it's hearing and certain vibrations are making it jump/scared.

I have no children, just my two cats and I know what a difficult choice you're going to have to make. But at the end of the day the question is, what if it was your sons' face that was scratched or worse?

[TKOS]

Our sheltie went silly as she aged, mostly due to deafness. She wasn't aggressive though so we dealt with her insane no reason barking. That certainly might explain a servere change in attitude. Obviously something has changed int he cats life that has had a profiund effect. A small stroke could also be the case. A vet visit (assuming you want to) is the only option I see other than the long eternal sleep.

[J double R]

if you won't declaw (which ii wouldnt) then i suggest putting it to sleep. there should be absolutely no question, when it comes to the safety of your children. i'd put a hundred cats to sleep if it meant my daughter was safe.

[msjinkzd]

Have these changes just occured since your daughter's birth? There are several anti-anxiety meds for cats which could be of help. I agree that a vet visit is your best course of action and that your child's safety is of the utmost importance as cat scratches and bits can cause serious infections in the most healthy of us, let alone a child.

[Gracecat]

I also agree, in this case I would not declaw. If your cat is already aggressive, when she realizes her first line of defense is gone she could become an extreme biter. She might become reclusive for the same reason. I've met several declawed cats and admittedly most are the same as they were before the surgery. But the factors I mentioned are a risk.

After speaking to a vet, I'd recommend calling your nearest cat rescue organization. These men and women are wizards at practically any cat. Many people that rescue and rehome cats have rehabilitated ferals in their home.

I don't think you should feel guilty over it. It happens and that's the way it goes at times. I hope it works out for you.

I may be a fairly new fish person but I know cats up and down. This behavior really is relatively common. Cats are strange creatures that flip out over the oddest reasons that takes outside influence and experience to figure out.

I'd suggest reading Pam Johnson-Bennet. She's a cat behaviorist and has written several books. It may not help your problem but it'll help you to know you're not alone.

Like I said, before you put the kitty down please call your local cat rescue. They'll be understanding, compassionate and I promise there will be a nice soul who has turned the worst offender into a great companion. It may take another home, medication, and a new environment but it has been done.

Have you tried Feli-way? It's a product, sort of a feline holistic xanax. You may also want to look for Bach's Rescue Remedy while you're trying to figure out what to do.

I wanted to add: :) Msjinkxd is absolutely right. I wouldn't want my child to be scratched by an aggressive cat. It's too dangerous. An attacking cat can lead to stitches, especially on a little girl. Ask if your vet would mind housing your cat for a few days while you figure out what to do. Or put the cat in an unused bathroom with food, water and a litterbox.

[kimmisc]

The last cat I had spent the first couple years of it's life inside, being the only pet and being spoiled rotten for the most part. When I moved in with some family once I began college, my uncle wouldn't allow cats inside the house, so my cat had to go from her previous lifestyle to being an outside cat with all my cousin's other cats.

In reaction to this change, she stopped interacting with me completely and she stopped eating. She got very thin quickly and she died within a couple months time.

Given that, I'd try not to change a pet's home life that drastically again. If it had to go to a different home, I'd atleast try to make sure it'd stay indoors, and if possible with no other pets.

I would go with declawing before I'd rehome her. I've had cats declawed in the past. They are under anesthesia for the procedure, so no matter how painful it may *look* to see it done, the cat is asleep for it. Afterwards my cats walked lightly for a few days (a bit sore) but by no means seemed miserable. They were into just as much mischief as usual. I'm not sure they even noticed their nails were gone.

I'm not a fan of putting pets to sleep, but you're faced with a decision between a pet and a child, so that's a tougher decision. Just talk over the options with the vet.

[kjr928]

I worked as a vet tech for about 10 years. Declawing is really not a big deal. PETA and other animal rights agencies put such bad press out about it, but the truth of the matter is that the cat is recovered in less than a week and there is no chance of the cat injuring or damaging things with his claws again. It is CERTAINLY no more painful or traumatizing than having a cat spayed, and you see the media pushing for that all the time.

Anyway, about your cat. Is it possible that your cat is playing? Or is he legitimately attacking you? (It sounds to me like he's just playing rough, that's why I ask).

Here is what I would do. First, bring the cat to the vet for a check up and explain what's going on. Maybe he/she will have another solution for you. If not, then I would opt for declawing. This way, the cat will pretty much be able to do whatever it wants to anyone without causing injury (you said the cat has almost no teeth left right?). Euthanasia I would hold off as a last option, if all else fails.

And for all of you who are so against declawing... If you were able to ask the cat if he'd rather be declawed or if he'd rather be dead, I'm sure the cat would rather be declawed. Just my thoughts on it.

[Cheech]

if you won't declaw (which ii wouldnt) then i suggest putting it to sleep. there should be absolutely no question, when it comes to the safety of your children. i'd put a hundred cats to sleep if it meant my daughter was safe.

100% agree. . . .

[Gracecat]

I never suggested euthanasia over declawing. But it has not been unheard of. Like some humans, animals can be trapped by mental and emotional constraints.

[Gracecat]

I will say that declawing is illegal in the UK so to me that says alot about the procedure. I would rather possibly rehome than perform a needless surgery when the cat still may be unhappy in the long run. It is as much about the cat as it is the little one.

[Que]

For the saftey of your kid you need to get the cat out of your house.

How you take care of it... vet, pound, put to sleep... thats an issue that you have lots of advice about at this point.

I think if the cat has lived a long life and is having trouble maintaining a safe relationship with your family then it's time to go has come.

Q

[kjr928]

I do believe that there is a chance your cat can co-exist with your family. I would seriously talk to the vet about it and consider declawing. If declawing is not an option for you, then I would have him euthanized. Rehoming an animal at that age is probably the cruelest and most traumatizing thing you could do to it, out of the suggestions mentioned.

I do believe that if you considered declawing, you'd find that your cat would recover in no time, and would no longer pose a risk to anyone in your family.

I have personally taken care of many cats recovering from declawing and 99% of them are up and walking around as soon as the anesthesia has worn off. They are able to go home the very same day.

[Draal5]

Here is your answer your child ALWAYS comes first.



It's her or the toddler.
Where's the dilemma? It sucks, but I see no dilemma.


Your dilemma is only where to re home your cat. Don't feel guilty you have taken good care of her for her entire life and she is no doubt one of the family and it is hard but.

Just looking the mirror see the scratches on your face now what if it was your child's face not yours what would you do? (that ones easy)

you can't watch either 24 7 what happens when you look away for that brief time the phone rings,knock at the door etc.

Protect your child!

[kuhliloach]

Do you have any pictures of the cat?

[jpappy789]

I think the point that the child comes first has been made, now it's what to do with her is the dilemma like Draal said.

Rehoming is probably not a good option. It will only make her freak out even more.

Declawing I am not familiar with.

And putting her to sleep...it's hard but may be your best available option

I would check with your vet to find out if there are health issues with your cat. It may end up that putting her down is the best thing to do...:(

[kuhliloach]

I think the point that the child comes first has been made, now it's what to do with her is the dilemma like Draal said.

Rehoming is probably not a good option. It will only make her freak out even more.

Declawing I am not familiar with.

And putting her to sleep...it's hard but may be your best available option

I would check with your vet to find out if there are health issues with your cat. It may end up that putting her down is the best thing to do...:(

child comes first?
If you had the cat longer than the kid, of course you're gonna be more familiar with it. But just because it's HUMAN means it has every more right to be around than the cat? Do you consider the cat's point of view or feelings?


I wish I could have your cat.

[Gracecat]

Sorry, as much as I dearly love cats I have to agree the little girl comes first.

I still disagree rehoming is not an option. I think if you talk to your vet and the local rescue group they can direct you towards an ideal situation. But that's my opinion. :)

I do agree the cat is as important as the child but not to the point where you sacrifice the child's safety.

[Rbishop]

child comes first!?

what the heck, If you had the cat longer than the kid, of course you're gonna be more familiar with it. But just because it's HUMAN means it has every more right to be around than the cat? Do you consider the cat's point of view or feelings?


I wish I could have your cat.


Yes.

But let us keep things on topic for the OP and offer our suggestions...not argue the point.

[jpappy789]

child comes first!?

what the heck, If you had the cat longer than the kid, you're gonna be more familiar with it. But just because it's HUMAN means it has every more right to be around than the cat? Do you consider the cat's point of view or feelings?


I wish I could have your cat.

1) I dont have a cat ;)

2) When a childs safety is in danger you pick the child over any animal, hands down. Age had absolutely NOTHING to do with it. Lots of people have had to give up pets or put them down because they pose a threat to their children's well-being, it happens often. Obviously you have never been a parent (well, neither have I) but I assure you that LOADS of parents on AC would put their child first.

3) The cats feelings are being considered. Obviously Ogre is putting some thought into this and I am not suggesting for him to just throw it out on the streets. Its not an easy choice, but I think he has his priorities set straight. It seems like this cat has been getting progressively worse and my guess is that there may be some physical problems going on as I wouldnt think a cat would get this psychologically sick out of the blue. Putting it down seems like the best option to me but consulting a vet would help get a better grasp of things before making a final decision...

[kuhliloach]

1) I dont have a cat ;)

2) When a childs safety is in danger you pick the child over any animal, hands down. Age had absolutely NOTHING to do with it. Lots of people have had to give up pets or put them down because they pose a threat to their children's well-being, it happens often. Obviously you have never been a parent (well, neither have I) but I assure you that LOADS of parents on AC would put their child first.

3) The cats feelings are being considered. Obviously Ogre is putting some thought into this and I am not suggesting for him to just throw it out on the streets. Its not an easy choice, but I think he has his priorities set straight. It seems like this cat has been getting progressively worse and my guess is that there may be some physical problems going on as I wouldnt think a cat would get this psychologically sick out of the blue. Putting it down seems like the best option to me but consulting a vet would help get a better grasp of things before making a final decision...

Can the cat get a check-up or would that be too much money?

[Lupin]

Enough with the arguments, please.

[OgreMkV]

This is an older picture of Tango. She's about 2 years in this picture. She's about 10 now.

41163

Thank you for all of your comments. I have read and discussed all of them with my wife.

I agree that perhaps, just a straight vet visit would be the best place to start. The vet is relatively familiar with her (having pulled her teeth) and may be able to suggest a kitty Thorazine or something.

Please understand, It's not about money or not considering Tango's feelings. The other cats have getting along with Xander pretty well and he's learning to be very gentle with them. He does get excited sometimes and all the cats would prefer to run than mess with him.

I am a cat lover and always have been. I'm the kid that was always bringing strays home. Now that I own my home, I've had all the stray's in my neighborhood fixed. I want what's best for Tango, but my son must come first.

Thank you all.

Please don't argue on my account. Thank you all for presenting your position and your pros and cons for each. The decisions lie solely with me and my family. I'll let you know what has been decided... when we decide.

[Gracecat]

She's a cutie Ogre. I apologize if anything in my posts may have sounded like you weren't considering Tango's best interests. Not sure where I got the idea it was a little girl and not a little boy though....

I hope it works out quite well for you. Ultimately with your vet, it'll be a good choice whatever you decide.

[clown-lover]

This is an older picture of Tango. She's about 2 years in this picture. She's about 10 now.

41163

Thank you for all of your comments. I have read and discussed all of them with my wife.

I agree that perhaps, just a straight vet visit would be the best place to start. The vet is relatively familiar with her (having pulled her teeth) and may be able to suggest a kitty Thorazine or something.

Please understand, It's not about money or not considering Tango's feelings. The other cats have getting along with Xander pretty well and he's learning to be very gentle with them. He does get excited sometimes and all the cats would prefer to run than mess with him.

I am a cat lover and always have been. I'm the kid that was always bringing strays home. Now that I own my home, I've had all the stray's in my neighborhood fixed. I want what's best for Tango, but my son must come first.

Thank you all.

Please don't argue on my account. Thank you all for presenting your position and your pros and cons for each. The decisions lie solely with me and my family. I'll let you know what has been decided... when we decide.

Thanks for the pic ogre.. Very cool looking cat. I don't envy you your position but I do believe you are on the right track from another pet lovers point of view.. (I was also the kid who brought the strays home, at one time my mother started calling the authorities if she saw a stray because she didn't want me to find it :D)

I am hoping your vet can find out what is going on, I wish you the best and will include you in my prayers.

God Bless
Mark

[Lupin]

Aww..Bless him. He's a cute cat.:)

[wataugachicken]

you may be able to get prozac for the cat, if this turns out to be an anxiety problem. yout cat may also be losing sight or hearing, which causes the craziness. instead of declawing, claw covers may be an option. you just glue them onto the claws and they stay on for several weeks.

[bethkira2000]

THis is going to be a topic on controversy I think, however I have a 7 yr old Blue Russian who is the most , unstable, mean,angry, and all around mean cat. Now with that said, she does not attack me, but she will attack the dog,cat and us if she is bothered or annyoned. I also have a daughter, and she and the cat have learned to ignore eachother. The cat maybe able to co-exist in you house with your daughter, with the help of meds. Mine is stressed out because she hates the at, they get along but if he goes to play with her its an all out cat fight.

[clown-lover]

You have a blue.. so do I beth.. Wow.. Mine is chatty but she is the most loving however needy cat.. I love her to death though.. Except when she decides to talk to me when on a phone call which is every time I'm on the phone :D

[kuhliloach]

I hope the best for you and your cat.

[OgreMkV]

Tango and I have an appointment tomorrow.

[judgemax]

Good luck!
your in my thoughts~julz

I want to add to, that claw covers are a good idea, I forgot they made them for cats to!
I don't rememeber who mentioned it, but its another alternative!

[scootrnerd]

i would have it eyes checked. my mothers cat was acting strange especially after the lights where out and just the tv on. it would just freak out and attack another cat/person/pillow whatever it was going blind!

[jpappy789]

Tango and I have an appointment tomorrow.
I hope you get some answers!:(

[OgreMkV]

OK, Tango has no pain right now. Dr. Webb checked for infections, arthritis, and other pain causing ailments. We talked about it and decided to try Cloraprimine(sp?)... it's an anti-aggressiveness drug.

We're going to give it 30 days and see how she's doing.

[Rbishop]

Good luck, Ogre!

[judgemax]

OK, Tango has no pain right now. Dr. Webb checked for infections, arthritis, and other pain causing ailments. We talked about it and decided to try Cloraprimine(sp?)... it's an anti-aggressiveness drug.

We're going to give it 30 days and see how she's doing.

keep us updated on how it works! its good to know, that there aren't any health issues! hope it works for you! ~julz

[bettagurl]

Good luck with her ;)

[barnsaw]

Hope everything works out.

[jpappy789]

OK, Tango has no pain right now. Dr. Webb checked for infections, arthritis, and other pain causing ailments. We talked about it and decided to try Cloraprimine(sp?)... it's an anti-aggressiveness drug.

We're going to give it 30 days and see how she's doing.

Good luck! :)

[clown-lover]

Still in my prayers...

[Que]

Cool Mike. I hope it works... I didn't even know there was a drug like that for cats... besides a tranq.

Q

[Fishy_Fun]

i hope all goes well for you and tango.I have had/still have a cat that is 17 years old and she is not that friendly but would never scratch or bite thats of course you don't take her favorite canned food;)

[Gracecat]

Good to hear Ogre! Hopefully it'll make her feel better. I know I don't like it when I'm overly grumpy. Good luck :)

[msjinkzd]

that is great ogre! glad to hear you are giving it a try and i hope it works out for the best!

[FtwayneFish]

me too. I was thinking put it to sleep, reading but seen theres a better way. if that doesnt work out; time for the long peaceful nap.