My 21st birthday

[Neervana]

well today was my 21st and i went out with my family. it started out with it getting really cold (left my house at 7pm) and half an hour into sitting in a car with the air con blasted on high (was not wearing wintery clothes if you get what i mean) and then i started to get a really bad cold. went to a really nice restaurant, sat down and got such a bad cold that i started to sneeze uncontrollably, and then half hour after sitting there deciding what to eat i started to get a fever, so ate quick, didn't feel like going anywhere just wanted to come back home and sleep...now my nose is stuffy and feel like crap. want to go to bed but my throat is so sore, i cant fall asleep so here i am...browsing the forums...what a rubbish day. was supposed to meet my boyfriend tomorrow he said he had a surprise for me and also something very important that he wanted to ask me...but now i think i will have to cancel, im feeling so ill.well i will see how i feel in the morning but i think i'll either just be in bed or trying to sleep.:mad2:

[Lady G]

well, that stinks sorry to hear it!! I could make you feel better by telling you about my 21st it was not very good at all...but I'm not sure it would be appropriate for this site. Although, you would end up great full for the cold LMAO!

Seriously though, I hope you get better quick and are able to celebrate soon!

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!:grinyes::grinyes:

[msjinkzd]

Happy birthday

[NeonFlux]

Happy Birthday Neervana

[Neervana]

lol thanks guys my throat is so sore. dont know if i should go to meet my bf tomorrow or not. he said it was important, so maybe its worth dragging me and my cold out tomorrow. what do u guys think?

[msjinkzd]

i think you should take an anti-histamine and see how you feel in the morning

[Hooked Newbie]

Happy Birthday!?

Hope you feel better soon!

[Hooked Newbie]

well, that stinks sorry to hear it!! I could make you feel better by telling you about my 21st it was not very good at all...but I'm not sure it would be appropriate for this site. Although, you would end up great full for the cold LMAO!

Seriously though, I hope you get better quick and are able to celebrate soon!

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!:grinyes::grinyes:

So you can remember THAT far back?

[The Zigman]

HA! Sounds like my 21st!!

I was born on Friday the 13th, and my 21st was on a Friday...

Happy birthday though!

[Dangerdoll]

Happy Birthday, rest up.... the best med for it is rest, so get plenty of it.

[Hooked Newbie]

If it helps at all... I "celebrated" my 21st underwater in a sub and had the bonus of being port and report... 6 hrs on, 6 hrs (hopefully, but not usually) off.

[Lady G]

So you can remember THAT far back?

O M G ! ! I am not Ice, my 21st wasn't THAT long ago Hooked!:perv:

[Neervana]

nah, saturday coming up is gonna be a real birthday! my brother in law has promised to take me to a fish centre - those ones in the countryside, massive ones and let me choose whatever fish i want....then im going to dig deep into my savings lol and spend spend spend. going to get loads of plants...loads of fishes...loads of everything...and a new tank! my dad has promised me one! :)

[Hooked Newbie]

nah, saturday coming up is gonna be a real birthday! my brother in law has promised to take me to a fish centre - those ones in the countryside, massive ones and let me choose whatever fish i want....then im going to dig deep into my savings lol and spend spend spend. going to get loads of plants...loads of fishes...loads of everything...and a new tank! my dad has promised me one! :)

Good for you! You must post pics and details though... it's required. :grinyes:

[Neervana]

yes, will def get pics posted up of tanks, news fish etc. might be a bit rubbish though, i don't know why but i dont have a digital cam. will hav to be from phone! still cant sleep...lol i get like this all the time when i cant sleep. when i was younger, if i couldn't sleep i would go and wake up my dad (no matter what the time) and say "are you awake? i can't sleep so don't sleep!"

[xDetroitMetalx]

I was hoping for a funny drunken story... But that stinks and I hope you get better. I'm sick too and passed out for 2 hours a few minutes ago. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Neervana]

I was hoping for a funny drunken story... But that stinks and I hope you get better. I'm sick too and passed out for 2 hours a few minutes ago. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

lolll thanks! no, my drunken stories are now a thing of the past. coz i haven't told u guys the whole story...well..last year i was at uni, for my first year. was living on campus...well obviously i decided to let go a bit and enjoy...was clubbing everyday (up to the point where all the bouncers would know me), getting drunk etc. all of us used to meet up (around 12-15 ppl) and play poker. after every round, no matter who won or lost, we would all have triple shots of hennesy, teachers, redbull, coke and vodka. obviously i wasnt used to drinking and after the first time in playing poker and losing so much i was so drunk 3 guys had to carry me up the stairs lol. but NO this is not a good thing so DON't drink to the extent that i did ;)
well anyway, the end result of doing all this was that i barely passed my exams (was lucky) and my dad got my results and tried to kill me, but couldn't because i didn't have to repeat the year. so now...i'm at home! lolll a dull ending to a good time i had last year. i dont regret doing any of it, but it just shows that my parents have to control me if not i just end up going mental.

[SchizotypalVamp]

How long have you and your boyfriend been going out and how serious are you? Maybe he has something *important* to tell you

[Neervana]

hmm we've been going out for over three years now, he's very loyal to me etc, he doesn't mess about and the most important thing is we try to make each other happy. we only have minor arguments over silly things like what movie we have to watch together lol coz we are both hot headed but thats about it really. sometimes he can be insecure though, he gets angry when i talk to my friends who are guys at uni. well whatever he has to say to me will always be important, not sure what it is though.

[Neervana]

omg just had another thought. do you think he wants to end it? although i dont see why he should...we haven't had any problems (like cheating, lying or anything bad) and his family knows about me...now im getting paranoid.

[SchizotypalVamp]

LOL I meant a proposal

[Neervana]

:eek:....no i dont think so...i mean....hmmmm.......now im doing that thing all women do...im thinking about this....lol and i don't like to constantly think about something a guy has said...us ladies do that too much ;)

[SchizotypalVamp]

See, that's not me;)-I just ask, though in this case it sort of sucks because you can't.

[SchizotypalVamp]

Maybe he just has a really nice surprise. I would try and make it:)

[Neervana]

loll i would never ask him something like that - not even if i was to think about it everyday. but if he did ask me then i would have to think it over...i hope he doesn't ask me that question

[Neervana]

i mean he has told me he loves me countless times and i've said the same, but thats just not enough for me to make such a commitment to a person. damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn now im starting to think this over.....i want to meet him tomorrow but now im just scared. i hate awkward situations, i avoid them like the plague, especially ones i can't answer! what should i do. go...or make an excuse?

[SchizotypalVamp]

Go, and if he asks you tell him that you love him but you "can't even stay in college without messing up", and that when you make a commitment to him you want to make it as a responsible, accomplished person because that's what he deserves.:)

Hope that's good advice

[Redneck Woman]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
:grinyes:You're getting all worked up over nothing and it's probably making you feel worse. Take care of yourself. I hope you get to feeling better.

[SchizotypalVamp]

It is probably nothing-I'm sorry for stressing you out! I hope you feel better also.

[Que]

Happy birthday and relax. It does sound like he may propose but don't sweat it. Like schizo said... you can say you aren't ready to make that kind of commitment just yet.

Q

Is that you in your avatar?

[Neervana]

lol yes thats me in my avatar. lol thats the fourth person who asked! well...i went to see him today. he took me to eat and then hyde park and we just went to different places, and he asked me that he wanted us to move in together and that things were going so well between us we should get engaged. before i had a chance to answer, he make it easier for me by saying that i can think it over then give him an answer next week....so i am trying to think about it, im not too sure what to do! feel a bit better today, i finally fell asleep at 7am but then had to get up again to meet him for 11. so had two hours sleep! but i think moving in together etc is just a whole other level i don't know what to say to him.

[SchizotypalVamp]

If it's not right for you, all the love in the world won't make it work:o. But if it is, go for it, lol! Good luck! What a week :)

[Neervana]

lol yeah and he thinks he's doing me a favour by giving me a week lol. if i was doing really well at uni, and i was really confident about myself as a person then i would eventually move in, but there are so many issues to consider, he just doesn't trust me! i mean he doesn't like it when i wear makeup, doesn't like it when i get my hair done...i dont know what he really wants. to move in with me so we can get to know each other more or to keep an eye on me.well at least he has given me 7 days lolll

[SchizotypalVamp]

umm...that sounds sort of abusive, honestly. I mean, he seems like a nice guy, but those are some iffy tendencies, the type that lead into bad things. Have you ever asked him why he does that? I mean, it's your body and I'm willing to bet you don't dress skankily.

[Neervana]

i dont do anything for him to doubt me i just dont know why he acts like this! i try my best to please him, but its never enough. anyway, enough about my ranting i think we all already know the answer, until things improve i guess we won't be able to live together. i trust him completely, but its different when it concerns him trusting me. honestly, i've never met a guy who acts like this before.

[SchizotypalVamp]

He's probably insecure. My fiance thinks I'm too pretty to be with him (complete junk, he doesn't know how lucky I am) and I can be insecure too, just being afraid of loosing him. However, it manifests in jokes and talking, not in controlling behavior. I totally agree that you shouldn't have to put up with it! How can he expect to marry you if he doesn't show any trust in you? That's like, half of marriage.

[Dangerdoll]

hmmm... I think if you have to think about it or if there are things you consider enough to make you think twice, then maybe a week isn't enough time..... maybe you should take a little more time to decide if you can handle theswe things that are nagging at you.

[Neervana]

i dont want to make him get angry in wanting more time, i just try to avoid arguments. i dont think he ever trusted me since the start, but how do you move past things like that? i mean how do you get over things like this. he does have his good side, that is part of the reason why i love him but trust is such a major issue for me

[SchizotypalVamp]

Confronting things in a proactive manner is one of the keystones of a relationship, as much as or more so than forgiveness. It'll be hard, but a conversation on how you feel could tell you whether or not you should stay or go. It could even change things a lot.

[The Zigman]

OK, its like this...I am a guy.. so I know what I am talkin about...

You're hot, and he doesn't want you to look "too good" when you are around other guys.. And if that's the case, he is never really going to trust you 100%. and if he doesn't trust you, he wont ever trust you, and it's not going to work. sorry.
He probably really does love you, but if you arent 100% comfortable with moving in with him, then dont. Tell him your parents won't approve. Also this might be a way for him to "keep tabs" on you. You're still young, (not old like me) and you have alot ahead of you. dont rush into anything you arent ready for. Dont avoid confrontation, that is how many women become controlled by their men, let him know how you truely feel..

Sounds like there might be some trust issues here, and perhaps a small amount of insecurity..

BTW, Happy Birthay!

Sorry for being "blunt"

[SchizotypalVamp]

I have to agree with Zigman here :/. I'm going to be AFK for a while (maybe the weekend). Good luck! I really hope everything works out for the best :).

[Dangerdoll]

I'm with Zig.... Trust is one of the cornerstones of a relationship. If it is weakened, the relationship is kkinda doomed. Sure, there is a small percent that can overcome it but it's very very hard and it never does restore 100%. If both people consider that it does, someone is hiding their feelings. Just the fact that you "don't want to make him mad because you try to avoid arguments" is indication enough that it's not right... at least not right now. Grow with him a little more and get to know him better. If you've never given him a reason not to trust you, maybe it will eventually adhere but if he continues to rag on you for your makeup or whatever, it may push you to do the very thing he is insecure about.... whether you could ever consider doing that at this point in your life or not. My gut is telling me you two need more time to make such a drastic change in the relationship such as moving in and getting engaged.... it also brings to mind, is the reason he wants to do this because he wants a shorter leash on you. Sure, there are things you love about him that he is great about but trust me, there is someone who will give you the trust you most certainlyt deserve. You don't want to start a life like this with someone, trust me. Perhaps as you two mature a little more, the trust issue with him will dissipate... I don't know... random thoughts here, sorry.....

bottom line is if there is doubt, wait it out....

[Neervana]

thanks for that guys, and i am glad you were all upright about this with me. i will tell him that perhaps it too early for us to move in together and that my parents will never let me move out right now because im still at uni. if he accepts what i say with an understanding mood, then i'll tell him that maybe when i graduate he can ask me again lol. maybe by that time things will have changed. i will talk to him about how i feel, but i just hope that he takes it well.

[NeonFlux]

nah, saturday coming up is gonna be a real birthday! my brother in law has promised to take me to a fish centre - those ones in the countryside, massive ones and let me choose whatever fish i want....then im going to dig deep into my savings lol and spend spend spend. going to get loads of plants...loads of fishes...loads of everything...and a new tank! my dad has promised me one! :)

Have fun!!! Have a real happy birthday! btw, Neervana, :D be sure to do your research before getting fish. :drool: If you are gonna get a lot of fish, be sure to get a big tank to suit them all! ^_^:grinyes: Hope your boyfriend and you gain trust. Good luck in Uni!

[gregm]

Happy Birthday :)

[Neervana]

aww thanks guys, all of you are so sweet to me!!! :) i have been researching them, i'm just getting ready to go out. im going to three fish shops today! 1) maidenhead Aquatics 2) LFS in Oxford Street 3) another LFS in Enfield and i'm leaving in about two hours, my sister has decided she would like to come along as well lol, which i think will be good, at least then maybe she'll want to start keeping some fish too! highly doubt it, but it's worth a try! my dad keeps on telling me not to buy too many fish, but then he gave me £100 this morning and told me to enjoy myself lol. i've decided to get a 600L tank, but still deciding what fish to put in! for now, im going to be adding to my 400L community tank which only has 6 angels in it and one BGK! will post pics up when i get back!

[Neervana]

omg i forgot to say, i have two 12 gallon tanks free, i am planning to get two bettas! the both tanks have heaters and pumps etc so i am going to plant it heavily, add a nice cave in it and put a betta in each! cant wait!

[NeonFlux]

aww thanks guys, all of you are so sweet to me!!! :) i have been researching them, i'm just getting ready to go out. im going to three fish shops today! 1) maidenhead Aquatics 2) LFS in Oxford Street 3) another LFS in Enfield and i'm leaving in about two hours, my sister has decided she would like to come along as well lol, which i think will be good, at least then maybe she'll want to start keeping some fish too! highly doubt it, but it's worth a try! my dad keeps on telling me not to buy too many fish, but then he gave me £100 this morning and told me to enjoy myself lol. i've decided to get a 600L tank, but still deciding what fish to put in! for now, im going to be adding to my 400L community tank which only has 6 angels in it and one BGK! will post pics up when i get back!

Wow! 600L = 158 gallons? Thats awesome! then yes!, you can add many schools of fish! cherry barbs, golden barbs, neon tetra, cardinal tetra, and etc! sweet. Remember to cycle your tank! Hahaha I'm talking lots of bio-spira or nitrifying bacteria from a established tank!

[Que]

As far as him not liking when you get dressed up nice and put on make up and all... I remember when I first went out with my now wife I was a bit insecure about how other guys used to look at her everywhere we went. It made me feel like I had to keep an eye on her all the time. I didn't want to lose her to some other guy. It wasn't that I didn't trust her while she's with me... it was more about not wanting to be dumped for some other guy. I don't care now if other guys look at her wherever we go. I've grown accustomed to it. I know her better and she knows me better.

Trust is something that's hard to earn by some and can be easily broken. Sometimes groundless suspicion can forever break a trust.

Take some time to get a better feel for the trust issue. Give yourself and your man some time to mature your relationship.

Q