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View Full Version : Idiot Sightings (Funny Emails #4)



Lexi_D
12-10-2008, 8:07 PM
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."



We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said " We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.



IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS .




IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City




IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded,
"That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.




IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS .






IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.





IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.






IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi




STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and REPRODUCE and our enemies know it!!!

cam191919
12-10-2008, 8:33 PM
lolz

abi88
12-10-2008, 8:34 PM
OMFG!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! That was AWESOME!!:)

laurenrocksth
12-10-2008, 8:58 PM
I work on an ambulance and it amazes me every day just how truly STUPID some people are!

jpappy789
12-10-2008, 9:24 PM
AHAHAH!

wataugachicken
12-11-2008, 8:13 PM
I have to tell this story from work. My manager used to work in a nice restaurant, and was trying to describe that night's special to one of the employees. It was a bison burger, and the employee didn't know what bison was. My manager is telling her that it's made from buffalo, and the employee seems to be getting really annoyed. Finally, she's like "DEB, stop making fun of me. I know buffaloes aren't real!" My manager is completely dumbfounded, and tries to get this girl to understand that they are real, and that the burgers are made out of them. When the girl goes home, still angry, she asks her mom, and thinks the mom is lying. Finally she looks it up, and the next day comes in to work and apologizes.

This girl didn't just think that buffalo were just extinct, either. She thought they WEREN'T REAL and had never existed at all, like unicorns and dragons. I mean, how did this girl get through school? Early American history? Even if she did nothing but watch tv, I've seen buffalo on tv lots of times.

paperdragon
12-11-2008, 8:25 PM
:lol::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

That has got to be the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. "buffaloes aren't real"

Slappy*McFish
12-11-2008, 8:30 PM
...wow

Veloth
12-11-2008, 9:08 PM
I had the curator of a local museum order a sign to go on a display wall but he did not want any mounting hardware to be seen, the sign he ordered was to be 1" clear acrylic so that the wall pattern behind it could be seen. When I told him that it was impossible to do he call me incompetent and said he would find someone else. Called me about 3 months later totally amazed that no one could do what he wanted. I installed his sign with hardware showing at twice the price I would have done it for originally.

jm1212
12-11-2008, 9:36 PM
:laugh:

bkw1982
12-11-2008, 11:07 PM
I have to tell this story from work. My manager used to work in a nice restaurant, and was trying to describe that night's special to one of the employees. It was a bison burger, and the employee didn't know what bison was. My manager is telling her that it's made from buffalo, and the employee seems to be getting really annoyed. Finally, she's like "DEB, stop making fun of me. I know buffaloes aren't real!" My manager is completely dumbfounded, and tries to get this girl to understand that they are real, and that the burgers are made out of them. When the girl goes home, still angry, she asks her mom, and thinks the mom is lying. Finally she looks it up, and the next day comes in to work and apologizes.

This girl didn't just think that buffalo were just extinct, either. She thought they WEREN'T REAL and had never existed at all, like unicorns and dragons. I mean, how did this girl get through school? Early American history? Even if she did nothing but watch tv, I've seen buffalo on tv lots of times.

Please close this thread......nothing can top this :lol:

excuzzzeme
12-12-2008, 4:19 AM
When in the Army as a young grunt I was a mortar gunner. Having scored "Expert" on all phases including shot accuracy and mis-fire handling, we were in a night fight and a round dropped in the tube with a thud. Hollering "MISFIRE", I then began the appropriate handling safety procedures to clear it. A "Know-it-all" platoon leader came running over asking us what was going on. I explained we had a misfire and needed to clear it.

Grabbing the flashlight off his webbing he yelled at us for being "stupid and not knowing what we were doing". He further tried to castigate us telling us how our actions were going to get someone hurt or killed. He promptly turned on the flashlight and peered down the tube and said "Yep, you're right it's a misfire".

He was transfered out 2 days later to never be seen again.

(I should send this to the Darwin Awards (http://www.darwinawards.com/) for honorable mention)

SchizotypalVamp
12-12-2008, 6:40 AM
PEERED down the tube?

PacuDan
12-12-2008, 7:10 AM
The sad thing is that there are people out there like the ones in these examples that are able to operate heavy machinery, and make our food.

Veloth
12-12-2008, 7:45 AM
:iagree: Be very afraid.

excuzzzeme
12-12-2008, 9:34 AM
Just goes to show that the only difference between Boy Scouts and the military is that the Boy Scouts have adult leadership.

The Zigman
12-12-2008, 10:05 AM
I have encountered idiots all of my life...

I was 18, working in a lumber yard... I was driving a 30,000# forklift in the warehouse when this customer appears and asks me "hey, do you work here?" I thought he was joking around, so in my own special way, I said, "no, I dont, Sorry..." And they guy just walked away...

I worked with my Dad when I was a kid, he was a general contractor, we worked on vacant repossessed homes for the FHA, and VA. On about a million different occasions, we would be performing a site board up, usually in the rain (seemed like it rained every time) and some putz would ask.. "are you boarding it up?"... Well Duh Mr Genius!

You ever have someone ask you a question, and then argue about the answer you gave? Like hey, how many quarts are in a gallon, and you say 4 and they want to argue because they think there are 6?

I argued with some clown for 2 hours over what day it was before..
I showed him my cell phone, and he said it was wrong too...