View Full Version : aquarium satire story
austinpetemo
09-30-2009, 1:20 PM
we have to write a satire for english. if you dont know what a satire is, its a story that makes fun of a serious subject. so i figured id write about aquariums and how its SOOO ok to keep as many cool looking fish as possible in a small tank. suggestions? ideas?
Pavo71
09-30-2009, 1:22 PM
Picture adding a fish and having to utilize a crowbar to do it.
Or possibly explaining that a cowfish gets to be that kind of square shape due to it's confinement in a very small tank at some point in it's life.
austinpetemo
09-30-2009, 1:26 PM
either that or i was thinking about writing about English 3 AP and how unnecessary it is that we write all kinds of crazy papers and read shakespear
Saves on money... keeping 10 goldfish in a drinking glass uses a lot less water than keeping them in an appropriately sized tank.
Not only saving money- but resources and the environment too... and when the goldfish die because of the lack of oxygen in the glass you can either eat them (less greenhouse gasses emmited raising fish than cows) - or you can add them to your garden as a natural fertiliser.
Could mention wanting a dog- but even a Chihuahua wouldn't fit inside the drinking glasses you have at home.
geekboy
09-30-2009, 2:21 PM
The first fish-keeping was practiced by cavemen who wanted to supplement their hunting and gathering diet with a constant food source. Lack of aquarium heaters posed a problem during the Winter months, but led to the invention of the first TV dinners. While maintenance was time-consuming, these pioneers discovered that keeping and breeding increasingly fancy and colorful fish would impress their wives and get them laid, which was the foundation for the hobbyist fish trade we know today.
When considering entering the fish hobby, you must make special considerations regarding equipment selection and placement. Fish are living creatures and require direct sunlight to thrive and show their natural beauty. Place your tank in front of a South-facing window, under a skylight, or in a Solarium. This replicates outdoor conditions, which enhances photosynthesis and helps to clean the glass.
When selecting a tank, be sure to make sure it is at least as long in one direction as the desired fish. For example, with a 10" goldfish, a tank measuring 8" x 8" would not be large enough (unless it is at least 10" tall). Fish need very little room to swim, as they will look just as pretty when stationary. Much like the effect of windows and mirrors on interior decorating, the clear glass tank walls give the fish the illusion of complete freedom and keep them content. Even if a fish discovers that it is confined, it will inevitably forget its problems after three seconds.
You should be sure to add your fish to your tank as soon as possible after purchase so as to keep long-term shock to a minimum. You will know when you have reached the desired stocking level if the cover to your tank is frequently knocked loose. When this happens you should find a heavier cover. When satisfied that the tank is full stocked, you may add tap water up to the brim.
For a designer effect, be sure the try the latest European craze with beer aquariums! These premium kits are somewhat costly to set up initially, but have natural antibacterial properties to keep your fish healthy. The attractive gold and amber colors will emphasize the beauty of your fish, and the inebriating effects allow for the most interesting and entertaining stunt-swimming patterns that (until recently) couldn't be seen outside of Mexico.
Pavo71
09-30-2009, 4:25 PM
geekboy that is hillarius, i am posting that on my blog for quick reference.
stratusfearrr
09-30-2009, 4:37 PM
That is excellent geekboy.
l3lhsl3
09-30-2009, 4:42 PM
The first fish-keeping was practiced by cavemen who wanted to supplement their hunting and gathering diet with a constant food source. Lack of aquarium heaters posed a problem during the Winter months, but led to the invention of the first TV dinners. While maintenance was time-consuming, these pioneers discovered that keeping and breeding increasingly fancy and colorful fish would impress their wives and get them laid, which was the foundation for the hobbyist fish trade we know today.
When considering entering the fish hobby, you must make special considerations regarding equipment selection and placement. Fish are living creatures and require direct sunlight to thrive and show their natural beauty. Place your tank in front of a South-facing window, under a skylight, or in a Solarium. This replicates outdoor conditions, which enhances photosynthesis and helps to clean the glass.
When selecting a tank, be sure to make sure it is at least as long in one direction as the desired fish. For example, with a 10" goldfish, a tank measuring 8" x 8" would not be large enough (unless it is at least 10" tall). Fish need very little room to swim, as they will look just as pretty when stationary. Much like the effect of windows and mirrors on interior decorating, the clear glass tank walls give the fish the illusion of complete freedom and keep them content. Even if a fish discovers that it is confined, it will inevitably forget its problems after three seconds.
You should be sure to add your fish to your tank as soon as possible after purchase so as to keep long-term shock to a minimum. You will know when you have reached the desired stocking level if the cover to your tank is frequently knocked loose. When this happens you should find a heavier cover. When satisfied that the tank is full stocked, you may add tap water up to the brim.
For a designer effect, be sure the try the latest European craze with beer aquariums! These premium kits are somewhat costly to set up initially, but have natural antibacterial properties to keep your fish healthy. The attractive gold and amber colors will emphasize the beauty of your fish, and the inebriating effects allow for the most interesting and entertaining stunt-swimming patterns that (until recently) couldn't be seen outside of Mexico.
copy and paste lol
Saves on money... keeping 10 goldfish in a drinking glass uses a lot less water than keeping them in an appropriately sized tank.
Not only saving money- but resources and the environment too... and when the goldfish die because of the lack of oxygen in the glass you can either eat them (less greenhouse gasses emmited raising fish than cows) - or you can add them to your garden as a natural fertiliser.
Could mention wanting a dog- but even a Chihuahua wouldn't fit inside the drinking glasses you have at home.
Ha! Now that's satire! By the way, I love your avatar.