View Full Version : How To Call The Police....
greeneyedlady
06-29-2004, 6:47 AM
George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed
when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden
shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw
that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said,"Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello I just called you a few seconds ago because there
were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response
unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said
that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody
available!"
:p
Dangerdoll
06-29-2004, 9:02 AM
hehehehe..... I gotta remember this one!! might come in handy!!!
Funny, that's a good one.
;)
Lila
Sensei_the_dojo
06-29-2004, 10:25 AM
Reminds me of another "calling the police" joke. I forgot who the comic was, but the joke was about what might happen if 911 got too busy.
"Thank you for calling 911 emergency services. All of our dispatchers are busy handling other emergencies at this time. If your home is being burglarized and you're calling from a touch tone phone, press 1 now. If your home is being burglarized and you're calling from a rotary phone, knock the burglar out with your rotary phone and call back later."
Dangerdoll
06-29-2004, 10:33 AM
Originally posted by Sensei_the_dojo
If your home is being burglarized and you're calling from a rotary phone, knock the burglar out with your rotary phone and call back later."
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: those things are heavy, aren't they!!
Sensei_the_dojo
06-29-2004, 10:49 AM
My mom still uses a rotary dial phone and pays rent to the phone company for it. But hers is the wall mounted kind. Still, the receiver alone on that sucker could cause some serious blunt instrument trauma. :eek:
jacblades
06-29-2004, 11:19 AM
there was an episode of the simpsons that said something like
"hello and welcome to the springfield police department resc-u-fone. if you know the name of the felony being committed, press one. to choose from a list of felonies, press two. if you are being murdered or calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line."
hehe-i will have to remember that one gel...
tomm10
06-29-2004, 11:44 AM
Originally posted by Sensei_the_dojo
My mom still uses a rotary dial phone and pays rent to the phone company for it. But hers is the wall mounted kind. Still, the receiver alone on that sucker could cause some serious blunt instrument trauma. :eek:
When my granmother finally got a new phone we had to take down her old rotary dial wall phone. She had the phone for something like 40 years and was paying rent on it EVERY month! By the time she got rid of it she was paying something like three dollars a month. Easily the most expensive phone in the universe.
The kicker is the phone company actually wanted it back! they probably wanted to put it in a museum as their biggest money maker.
Tom
Dangerdoll
06-29-2004, 11:47 AM
hehehe, I never heard of "paying rent" for a phone, but I would imagine it's something like paying for the box when you have cable....
my sister bought the rotary type that you hang on the wallfor her kitchen from ebay... I guess she was feeling nostalgic..... but when I'm there, it reminds you how quickly people prefer things done these days... like calling someone... :p
tomm10
06-29-2004, 11:53 AM
Originally posted by Dangerdoll
hehehe, I never heard of "paying rent" for a phone, but I would imagine it's something like paying for the box when you have cable....
Except the cable company at least will upgrade that box every couple of years. This was 40 years of rent for the same phone. ;)
Dangerdoll
06-29-2004, 11:55 AM
Originally posted by tomm10
Except the cable company at least will upgrade that box every couple of years. This was 40 years of rent for the same phone. ;)
they upgrade the boxes?? :confused:
Sensei_the_dojo
06-29-2004, 12:24 PM
My Mom's had her phone for about 35 years. She's 72, still pretty healthy, and very stubborn. She doesn't even have an answering machine. I'm 2000 miles away, and can't even leave her a message if she's not home when I call. :(
tomm10
06-29-2004, 1:26 PM
Originally posted by Dangerdoll
they upgrade the boxes?? :confused:
Yup. When we went over to digital cable they just gave us the new boxes. we pay more for the digital service of course but box upgrade didn't cost any more. An upgrade once every few years to keep step with the times is still better than no upgrades over 40 years :p
jacblades
06-29-2004, 1:37 PM
you must have a nice cable company tom. ours charged us for the boxes and when we got sick of their crappy service we returned them and they tried to charge us again! no more satan...err charter cable ever again. woohoo for satellite!
tomm10
06-29-2004, 1:42 PM
Well, I wouldn't call them nice. Its self serving really. If we kept the basic cable box we wouldn't be able to order pay per view and on demand movies as easily. With the new fangled box we can spend more money and they still charge us rent for the boxes.
Tom
dwayne
06-29-2004, 1:54 PM
My mother used to rent her phone. $10 a month!!!! Rip off. She said it was so that if any of us kids ever broke it she could get a new one no questions asked. She's so cheap too, you'd think she would have realized that that is NO bargain!!
Comcast Cable stinks!! We've had digital cable for quite a while now and over the past 2 weeks the service has been awful. We'll flip to a channel and it will say One moment please, and maybe will turn on, maybe not. UGH.
Tom ~ Initially they told me that it was a problem with our box, so I took it in and got a new box, but that didn't fix the problem. I called the next night and they said it's a system wide problem in Medford. Whatever. I'm giving them another week to straighten it out, then I'm going to start investigating Satellite. On the plus side, they gave us a fancy new remote control (with an on demand button!!)... I guess I can't be too mad at the baby for breaking the old one :)
~Tara
Sensei_the_dojo
06-29-2004, 1:55 PM
:D I bet GEL never considered that a joke about calling the police would be hijacked into ranting about the cable company. BTW, I haven't had any cable at all for four years. We use our TV exclusively to watch a few rented videos/month.
Dangerdoll
06-29-2004, 4:09 PM
hehehe, I'll bet she woulda never thought either... at any rate though.... I dunno if I could live without nick at night or the court channel putting me to sleep at night....
Tara, I agree with you though, comcast digital does rot.... we ALWAyS get that "one moment please" crap....guh, it's the worst!!
Finaddictfred
07-09-2004, 3:41 PM
911 should lead directly to any given donut shop
greeneyedlady
08-02-2004, 5:46 PM
Originally posted by Dangerdoll
hehehe, I'll bet she woulda never thought either... at any rate though.... I dunno if I could live without nick at night or the court channel putting me to sleep at night....
court tv puts you to sleep at night:eek: some of those shows at night are not conducive to happy dreams ya know