View Full Version : How Come No One Ever Listens?
It seems no matter how much I learn from you guys and I try to share it with friends, they just DO NOT listen!
I suggested to a friend that has 2 fancy goldfish that her 2g tank was not big enough and she should get something bigger because it was not healthy for the fish. So she goes out and buys a 3g and does not want to hear any more advice. She can take care of it herself (so she says!)
Then another woman I know has bettas in vases and she liked my AFD's, so she wanted to get some for herself. I told her she probably wouldn't want to put any in those vases, she have to get something bigger. What does she do? She goes out and buys 2 and puts them in the vase with a Betta!
I don't understand. It's like they don't even care what they're doing to the little guys. My bf says not to give them advice anymore because they just want to do what they want to do without hearing about it. It just stinks because it's not like I'm commenting on a picture that doesn't match their living room. It's the life of a poor little animal that you are taking on the "responsibility" of!!!
Oh well, just my gripe!!! Had to get it out to people who understand... ;)
Maj0rFiSh
03-23-2005, 3:57 PM
Give your friend a slap round the mush. Then try again, post back with your results...
SCU33ZE
03-23-2005, 4:05 PM
,,, theres a term in this world everyone listens too and they all are a bit of that on the inside,,,CHEAP,,,,,,i recall that im like i say "El cheapo Maximo" but for my fish i sacrifice my other hobby computers tell yo friend to no be so cheapey and to listen that even if she put 1 fish in a small bowl it still gonna die cuz water characteristics change much faster in smaller amount of water,,,,,also shel buy this one,,,,,,bigger water = less maintenance = less test supplies well for me its like that
I would listen to the BF and not give them anymore advice unless they ask for it.
Kasakato
03-23-2005, 4:19 PM
I agree. If the fish die, then they will ask for help. (Making you sound smart)
ChileRelleno
03-23-2005, 4:29 PM
See the first part of my sig...
You can preach and teach (any subject) till your blue in the face and very few will ever really listen :rolleyes:
OrionGirl
03-23-2005, 4:39 PM
I've learned never to offer advice. If someone asks, I'll respond with as much detail as they request.
As to why people don't listen...
1) you're telling them they are wrong. No matter how politely put, this tends to turn people off and prevent them from actually hearing anything you say.
2) You're not a 'professional'. Look at how many people listen to Dr. Phil--even though he's not saying anything new or profound.
3) Your advice will force them to modify their behavior...Tigers and stripes. If people want to change, they can, but seldom will do so because you want them to.
All good points...
I just feel bad for the poor fish they own that they don't want to take the time and learn all they can to make the lives of their pets more comfortable. I don't think either of them own test kits and don't care to own them either. I think it's just easier for them that way...
Maybe they believe what they don't know won't hurt them :(
For some reason, I don't think MajorFish's idea would help! hehe
I just wish there was a way for them to figure it out that they need more knowledge without sounding like a know it all...
I even recommended them looking at this site, and so now one of them says "Ha! You belong to a fish club!" Whatever, so what if I do!
OrionGirl
03-23-2005, 4:56 PM
:) I'm called the fish police...By the employees at my local LFS. Could be worse.
Best thing I know of--have great tanks that showcase fishes personality and behavior. People come over, see my tanks, and say "My fish don't swim around like that", or "My tank doesn't look nice like yours do". This gives you the chance to talk about how you care for the tanks, and why you have the fish you do, etc. Several people have decided NOT to get a tank after hearing what I put into mine...Which is fine. The hobby isn't for everybody. For those who decide they want to improve a setup, you can help.
SCU33ZE
03-23-2005, 5:48 PM
hey i know some fish thingys that go round and round maybe ur friends can settle for one they cheap at wal mart and easy to maintain just plug it and forget it
CajunCC
03-23-2005, 5:51 PM
The best thing I've ever done to get people to change their fishkeeping habits is hold a bottle of ammonia under their nose. When they complain about how horrible it smells and how it burns their nose, I tell them that's what their fish have to live in. Then they get the idea and start to feel bad, so it opens the door for me to explain why a bowl isn't appropriate for a fish.
SCU33ZE
03-23-2005, 5:53 PM
hah yea ...offer to clean there car windows ,,,soak em in ammonia and see if your friends gills i mean lungs hurt then they get the point
Oddball~
03-23-2005, 6:09 PM
They don't listen simply because they don't want to. I mean, say you are one of these fops and got a brand-new 5 gallon tank and (hopefully) cycled the tank. THen you go to Wal-Mart or the LFS, and this strange man comes up to you. He's very strange because... he.... cares about the fish... hmm. He then tells you the goldfish you SO desire in your heart will not fit in your tank comfortably. Since you have seen these stereotypical pictures of goldfish in a bowl/small tank, you disagree with him.
After all, he said "They won't fit" and you have seen 100s of pics with goldfish in bowls! A picture means 1 million words and he said 3 simple words, so you MUST be right!
^^ THAT'S their mentality.
SCU33ZE
03-23-2005, 6:11 PM
u so right no explenation needed
ergo sum
03-23-2005, 6:22 PM
I am sorry but I wasn't listening. Would you repeat that?
Oddball~
03-23-2005, 6:29 PM
..........ha........ha.