Diary of a Snow Shoveler:

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nursie

AC Members
Jan 15, 2005
916
0
0
Peoria, IL
Real Name
michelle
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow
of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and
sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes
drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses
Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal
white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What
a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the
Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to
shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment.
My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a
white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll
have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
up by shoveling the driveway And sidewalks. This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
again. didn't realize I would have to do quite this much
shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought
a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood
stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We
aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my rear end
on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like you
can't believe. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think
was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy
to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile
the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the
wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a
wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when
she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own
living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14"
of the stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. That
dumb snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor
kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I think they're lying.

December 21: Called the only hardware store around to
see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I
have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of the white crud fell today, and
it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45
minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
then I had to use the bathroom. By the time I got undressed,
went, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter;
but he says he's too busy. I'm sure he is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this
morning. What is she nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do
that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow,
I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
ever catch the son of a gun who drives that snowplow, I'll
drag him through the snow by his ears. I know he hides around
the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he
comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws
snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted
me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents,
but I was busy watching for that snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the
miserable slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling
makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I
have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch
"It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to scream!

December 26: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in.

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the
roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard.
How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing
me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches of snow predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
 

mermaiden78

AC Members
Oct 23, 2005
215
3
18
46
Mobile Alabama
Real Name
Dana
That is cute Nursie!!!!!!! I cant say i feel the same cause i never get snow :(
 

squall_japan

They used to laugh...
Oct 24, 2005
124
0
0
Tokyo, Japan
I kinda relate to the story coming from a country that only have 2 seasons. I was really excited when i first experienced snow here in Japan. I can't forget it because i hurt my tushy that same day. Then the snow melted... became slippery... turned to mud :rant2:. Snow is nice during weekends but snow when you are trying to go to the office on foot or bike is not.
 
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ashdavid

In Search Of Better Water Quality
Mar 27, 2005
1,268
1
0
Japan
Ha,Ha,Ha... Sounds like me.

Very nice story. :dance:
 
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