Punny Joke
- Thread starter electromen
- Start date
it's a twist on a song title - "Surrey with a Fringe On Top", from Oklahoma! (the play, not the state). Harry and Sally did karaoke to it in. . . when harry met sally.
heh, i thought it was funny. 'surrey with a fringe on top' is one of the songs i get stuck in my head at work, endlessly repeating. i don't even know the words except for two or three lines. that and that Wizard of OZ song - get up at 12 and start to work at 1, take an hour for lunch and then at 2 we're done. . . . jolly good fun! ha ha ha, ho ho ho, and a couple of shut the **** ups. i wish it were possible to choose the songs that stick in your head.
So a guy wakls into a bar with a duck under his arm
the bartender says, "what are you doing with that turkey?"
the guy says, "That's not a turkey, it's a duck"
the bartender says, "Shut up. I was talking to the duck"
the bartender says, "what are you doing with that turkey?"
the guy says, "That's not a turkey, it's a duck"
the bartender says, "Shut up. I was talking to the duck"
:rofl:
Dad went out horseback riding one day and a mountain lion scared his horse. In all the bucking and such, Dad's brand new boots came off.
The next day he went out again and came back with a dead mountain lion across the back of the saddle.
My uncle asked him, "Pardon me, Troy, is that the cat that ate your new shoes..."
Dad went out horseback riding one day and a mountain lion scared his horse. In all the bucking and such, Dad's brand new boots came off.
The next day he went out again and came back with a dead mountain lion across the back of the saddle.
My uncle asked him, "Pardon me, Troy, is that the cat that ate your new shoes..."
is it possible to buy a complete chess game in a pawn shop?
This food around here is fit for a king. King , come here, boy!
A couple months ago, I entered a contest and ended up winning a few acres of swamp land below the flood plane in Mississippi. Before I knew it, right after that I won a $250,000 house, so naturally I built it on my new land. Last week, I won enough money in the lottery to quit my job and move down there for good. And just last night, as sat on my new porch watching the rain and listening to the thunder, it all started to sink in.
A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues.
A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.
When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
A Sunday School teacher read a passage from the Old Testament book of Jonah to her class:
"And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah;
and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and
three nights. Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from
the belly of the fish, saying 'I called to the Lord our
of my distress and He answered me." and the Lord spoke
to the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land."
(Jonah 1:17)
When she had finished reading, the teacher said, "Now, children, you have heard the Bible story of Jonah and the whale. What does this story teach us?"
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "You can't keep a good man down!"
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
This food around here is fit for a king. King , come here, boy!
A couple months ago, I entered a contest and ended up winning a few acres of swamp land below the flood plane in Mississippi. Before I knew it, right after that I won a $250,000 house, so naturally I built it on my new land. Last week, I won enough money in the lottery to quit my job and move down there for good. And just last night, as sat on my new porch watching the rain and listening to the thunder, it all started to sink in.
A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues.
A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.
When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
A Sunday School teacher read a passage from the Old Testament book of Jonah to her class:
"And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah;
and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and
three nights. Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from
the belly of the fish, saying 'I called to the Lord our
of my distress and He answered me." and the Lord spoke
to the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land."
(Jonah 1:17)
When she had finished reading, the teacher said, "Now, children, you have heard the Bible story of Jonah and the whale. What does this story teach us?"
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "You can't keep a good man down!"
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
Im reminded of the joke that marlin was trying to tell the other fish in finding Nemo
