another question I had reguarding these fish it that they dig and move the gravel and plants around alot. I thought at first that maybe it was because they were looking for a place to lay thier eggs, but they are continuing to do this. They actually pretty much destroy the tank, they don't leave anything where it was. Is this normal?
Welcome to the world of cichlids!! I had a pretty well planted tank...until the introduction of cichlids, now it is extreamly lightly planted they uprooted everything and destroyed most all the plants!! And yes they love to move around rocks, sand everything!
As for the rest of your questions, I'm not really sure the only babies I've had the mom held the eggs in her mouth until they hatched then continued to hold them in her mouth for about a week after that. I moved her into a new tank until she released them then but her back in the other tank.