Message
To all my friends, Thank you for making me safe, secure,
>blessed, and wealthy by sending me> your chain letters over the last
> year.
>
>Because of your concern:
>
>* I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
>
>* I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
> products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
>
>* I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from
> the rat feces and urine.
>
>* I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
>
>* I no longer go to movies because I could sit on a needle infected
> with AIDS.
>
>* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get
> pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
>
>* I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a
> wet dog on a hot day.
>
>* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
> perfume sample and try to rob me.
>
>* I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
> actually Al Qaida in disguise.
>
>* I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support
> our American troops.
>
>* I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
> stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
> to Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
>
>* I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
> mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>
>* I no longer look at the opposite sex because they will take my
> kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
>
>* I no longer have a cell phone but that will change once I receive my
> new Ericcson phone.
>
>* I no longer have any sneakers but that will change once I receive my
> free replacement pair from Nike.
>
>* I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
> their recipe.
>
>* I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
> out for me.
>
>* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl about
> to die in the hospital for the 1,000th time.
>
>* I no longer have any money but that will change once I receive the
> $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me since I participated in
> their special e-mail program.
>
>I want to thank all of you soooooooo much!! for looking out for me! Now
> if you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
> seconds a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm
> this afternoon
This is a joke
To all my friends, Thank you for making me safe, secure,
>blessed, and wealthy by sending me> your chain letters over the last
> year.
>
>Because of your concern:
>
>* I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
>
>* I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
> products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
>
>* I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from
> the rat feces and urine.
>
>* I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
>
>* I no longer go to movies because I could sit on a needle infected
> with AIDS.
>
>* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get
> pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
>
>* I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a
> wet dog on a hot day.
>
>* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
> perfume sample and try to rob me.
>
>* I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
> actually Al Qaida in disguise.
>
>* I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support
> our American troops.
>
>* I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
> stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
> to Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
>
>* I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
> mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>
>* I no longer look at the opposite sex because they will take my
> kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
>
>* I no longer have a cell phone but that will change once I receive my
> new Ericcson phone.
>
>* I no longer have any sneakers but that will change once I receive my
> free replacement pair from Nike.
>
>* I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
> their recipe.
>
>* I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
> out for me.
>
>* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl about
> to die in the hospital for the 1,000th time.
>
>* I no longer have any money but that will change once I receive the
> $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me since I participated in
> their special e-mail program.
>
>I want to thank all of you soooooooo much!! for looking out for me! Now
> if you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
> seconds a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm
> this afternoon
This is a joke
