R these people friends or what?

S

Sigrid

AC Members
Jan 8, 2011
337
0
0
both hands in fish tank
Real Name
Bristlenose
:confused: confused, disappointed, dismayed...:silly:
I like to hear UR opinion about my situation. How would anyone of U feel if U R constantly bypassed - whatever you say, state, suggest or dare to mention is always put down, corrected, dismissed or totally ignored?
Being moved to the Outback in NY State, where I do not have large access to more well-rounded personalities.
I have 2 acquaintences (locals R hard nosed + don't like anything different or new) like that - about the same age as I am...we R Grannies, and these folks feel they never have to let me come up for air to say something.
I am not stupid
I am very well informed about all kinds of subjects
I am a teenager at heart, with hobbies like pets, 6 planted fish tanks, photography, interested in world affairs, know how and where to get info for any kind of a problem, speak 2 languages, and can think on my feet, while running, BUT these two "darlings" always make me feel stupid. Their Niagara Fall of speech :silly: drives me crazy/makes me nervous, while I am driving, trying to concentrate on traffic conditions...I think I will go alone from now on...am a bit down.
 
That's a shame! It doesn't sound like a pleasant situation at all. How long has this been going on? Do they seek your association or do you initiate contact always? I hate to say it, but it seems they don't think of you as one of them and they don't have respect for you.

At first I was thinking this is like a couple of friends I have that are just very talkative and you have to just jump into the conversation and it's kind of a conversation free-for-all, but when you said they always disparage, discount, and correct what you say, or ignore what you say - then this is not really a relationship on an equal footing. They are not treating you with respect and kindness.

You could hang in there and try to win them over, or if you've just been beat down too much then you need to look elsewhere for friends. In your community is there a hospital or school where you could spend time as a volunteer? An animal shelter or Meals-On-Wheels that could use your voluntary help?

You could meet a variety of people and make new friends this way. You are an interesting and valuable person, I know; I've seen you on AC and you are helpful and kind and friendly. I know you would be an awesome friend... don't give up. I'm sorry you are feeling down.
 
Sorry to hear. I get put down alot for my level of sophistication. People call me a Hick. Ive never dailed a cell phone, but Ima Native American so Im better off in the woods with animals anyway. I have problems with anxiety and physical and mental scars. Ive saved my brothers life. Attacked my drunk father. Knee surgeries in my early 20's, weak heart and lungs, homeless,poor,angry and lost. This fish thing and my Beagle are all the joy I get. I feel for ya as I am very lonely myself and dont eassily relate with most of the in crowd
 
It can be hard to fit in in a new area. Try Ohio city boy moving to Oklahoma.

The Outback in NY state? It might help to know where you ARE and where you came FROM.

"Upstate NY" can be anywhere outside of NYC...and includes a lot of cities such as Buffalo, Syracuse, Rochester, etc. And there are also a lot of very rural areas just like any state.

If anyone is distracting me while driving I first ask them politely to be quiet, next to shut up, next...I stop the car so they can get out. Do that once or twice...!

I know how you feel; one person I consider a good friend used to be very abrasive and also would put me down in front of others. I confronted him about it, explained I valued his friendship but wouldn't put up with the crap...it has stopped and we now get on very well.

IMHO, if you confront someone about that and they don't want to be your 'friend' anymore...no great loss!

I second the suggestion of finding some volunteer work you can do. Red Cross and Civil Air Patrol come to mind. Both usually have a wide range of folks you can socialize with.
 
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:) Hello and thank you for your response,
I wrote this thread this morning because I felt rather frazzelt, facing a number of situations. It is unfortunate that I don't have more obtions in meeting more people. Moving from the Minneapolis area to an economical challenged area, has been almost a culture shock. However, after living here for the past 5 years I have learned to accept a lot of things - may they be backward - behind the times - the unfriendly attitude of the natives are some of the examples, but sometimes I also need a buddy, a shoulder to cry on, a person to talk to....

If you read my numerous responses and new threads I started, you will see that I am very positive thinking person. I am involved in many things - being a secretary of a club in a small village which belongs to a worldwide volunteer organisation - I volunteered for 2 years at a 280 beds Vets home, taking care of all the houseplants of the residents in 59 rooms. I have had many volunteering positions since moving to NY, HOWEVER, at present I have a big problem. Since the beginning of Nov. I am housebound because I injured my foot in Juli 2009 doing volunteering work on someone's filthy and run down property. As thanks, I was called: "a vile and foulmouthed ignoramos (?spelling) and that I should crawl back into my hole and be a good little senior citizen!"

All this time I have been limping around on a stress fracture and an injured tendon, facing surgery, and this is the reason why I am spending so much time on the computer, resting my foot. Did I hear from so-called friends? No, only very seldom.

Perhaps after the surgery (which is coming up as soon as my doctor has set up the date), and I am mobil again, I will cruise to my favorite places in larger cities some distance away.
I thank you for your responses, I am glad I was able to vent a bit.
*Future posts of mine will again be positive and perhaps outrageous, promise. Ta, ta.
 
As a native of a small town in upstate NY, I have to say that I'm a little offended by your classification of us. I have lived here since I was a small child, moved away for a few years and recently came back. I would not classify myself, nor most of my friends (who are also natives) as any of the things you have described. Maybe you expect too much, or are a tad too judgmental of those around you? I have read several of your other posts/threads, and I have to suggest that maybe the reason you feel you're not being given enough respect is that your own opinion of yourself is a little unrealistically inflated?

Just a thought.
 
When you were injured, were you operating under the umbrella of a volunteer organization such as habitat for humanity? If so, they should be able to help cover your medical costs...tho that doesnt help with your pain and time out. If it was a church or local community organization, they should still have insurance that should cover you.

Volunteering-wise...In future I would pick organizations that are safety oriented and have a good rep...as do RC, CAP, and many others. I also suggest something more active than you will find taking care of plants in a VA hospital, rewarding tho that may be.

I dont want to sound mean or political, but 'helping ' someone local...without insurance...is at your own risk.

Would I help my next door neighbor...who is my friend...dig a ditch to alleviate flooding? yep...in a minute.

Someone across town, NOT under the umbrella of another organization...probably not..tho I would refer them to several organizations who could help


jbradt, I understand your concerns, lets find out more about sigrid....
 
Sorry to hear about all this Sigrid. You certainly seem to have a very vibrant outgoing personality. Sometimes when you move to a new area anywhere it's hard to find the right people. Take a class or at the local college. You'll meet more folks maybe with your own way of thinking. Hope you heel fast from the surgery and your up and running again:)
 
Don,
Thank you for your response. No I did not work under the umbrella of an organisation. I chipped in and helped a Service family that is presently stationed in Italy take care of their property. At the end of 2000 I had put in over 150 hours of slave labor, my expense, my equipment, my gasoline to and from, and my gasoline to move and manicure their gardens. Never, never, never will I do that again for anyone. And anyone who thinks of me as being arrogant...and such, is a fool with tunnel vision.
~ ~ ~ ~
And now on to a tru New Yorker. Ei, ei, ei, how famliar that tone sounds.
jib...:headshake2:
U know what U need to do? U need to walk in my shoes for a while before U open UR beak that wide again, shame on U. U have no idea what U R talking about. By the way, when describing the natives in our immediate neighborhood, how do you know whom I meant? You don't even know where I live and what kind of urchins I have to deal with. I am convinced every day more and more "it must B the water!!!"

Please refrain from further negative up comments. By the way, if the shoe does not fit, then don't wear it.

Minding my business, being a friendly helpful neighbor, how would anyone react when the parties on both sides of our property tell you to UR face: "Pack up UR crap and get the hell out of here, we don't want U here!" This is after living on our property for 5 years. By the way, this is asking the neighbors to stop burning plastic bottles (we live down-wind from them), 3 days of constant burning, just in case U want to know.
~ ~ ~
Thank you Bonnie, hoping to meet you some day.
 
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