Today, I...

Take it easy Liz, the worst thing you can do right now is to go back to being with him so soon. There is a reason you desired this separation and to go back with him before you had time to thoroughly think things through would deem the separation in vain. You should consider things from all ends and realize that there is a reason for the separation in the first place. That's not to say you may not get back together or that you may, just that you have had your time to soul search for it.It's only fair to both of you that you take the full time needed for this. Some people just are better as friends than bf/gf. Take it ieasy girl and move at your own pace. Only you know what's right for you.
 
I found many times over that clean breaks were way easier in the end than "going on a break" or trying to remain friends. I still talk to one or two girls I dated in the past, but it was only after pretty much no contact for a long time, like years. Any time we tried staying friends, or taking a break with the intent of getting back together, it just made things messier and messier and we both ended up more upset about the whole thing than we would have otherwise. Just my 2 cents.
 
Yeah as mentioned, trying to be friends after a break always seems ike the right thing to do, but onyl works maybe 0.5% of the time. Trying to be friends will just be to hard, I have been there. Everytime you talk or hang out it will just re-kindle the old flames and bring on nostalgia. You do not want or need that. It is better to go opposite ways and move onw ith your life, be happy of the times you had and go on looking for more. Do things that made you happy ebfore you met him, if you lived without him then, you can do it now, you just have to remember how to. Try checking out 43things.com it is a site where people journalize things they want to do, goals for thir lives. I have found many things on their that I would have never thought of, that after trying provided me with tonnes of enjoyment. It is a great site, and a wonderful community. And... of course... spend time with your fish!! They will always love your attention.
 
I'd like to atleast try being friends. And right now I'm about 50/50 about whether I did the right thing. Breaking off communication completely would make it a lot easier to move past... but this would be very very hard on him because he is a christian and did things with me he probably shouldn't have done, and he really does not want to go into a new relationship having sexual experiences with someone else.

I told him not to regret loving someone, and he said he doesn't regret *loving* me...

Ahh drama. I guess that's not my problem but it makes it a lot harder.

Haha sorry this thread is so selfish and about me. I just, I dunno. I value your input.
 
I recommend maybe at least one if not two or three rebound boys.

You won't even remember his name after that. Seems to work for all my friends that were girls in college. lol.
 
Liz, of course he is saying and feeling that he needs your friendship now... it's because you broke up with him. The thing is, he is sad/depressed and desperately needs you now. Needs the one who he's been so dependant on and needs you this way because you forced yourself from him. This is no one's fault but being friends with him for now is only going to make things difficult for you both. With you in figuring things out and with him in case you decide you need to go your separate ways, he is hanging onto the hope that you will come around. In my eyes, being friends during this time immediately after break may seem like a good idea, I don't recommend it. You need time for a reason, and this would only complicate things and not allow you to think clearly enough.
 
It seems to me that things are basically up to you now. Take a few days to really search yourself to see if he's "the one". If he's not, the sooner you make a clean break, the better for both of you in the long run. Don't settle for less than you really want and don't let him settle either. It's generally viewed that us gals are the clingy ones, but guys can and will be just as clingy, so don't give him hope if you decide he's not the one for you. IMHO, you're still too young yet to be so serious. But then some pple are lucky in that they don't have to search so long for what they want.
 
In relationships, conversation and religion are pretty much the 2 things that either make or break a relationship...and it is hard to remain friends with someone who you have such a history with...

Liz said:
He was very good to me, it's just there were intellectual and religious differences that caused problems and stress for me. It'd be hard to find a guy as good to me as he was, though.

I'm not sure I did the right thing. We're trying to remain supportive of eachother and close friends (I don't know if that's possible) and right now I guess our relationship is basically on hold, because he doesn't want to date anyone else. Since I am not sure whether I made the right choice, I'm not really moving on just yet. But I don't want to get into that cycle of breaking up and going back out the next day, only to break up again a month later.
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Totally agree with ya on this one DD..
Dangerdoll said:
Liz, of course he is saying and feeling that he needs your friendship now... it's because you broke up with him. The thing is, he is sad/depressed and desperately needs you now. Needs the one who he's been so dependant on and needs you this way because you forced yourself from him. This is no one's fault but being friends with him for now is only going to make things difficult for you both. With you in figuring things out and with him in case you decide you need to go your separate ways, he is hanging onto the hope that you will come around. In my eyes, being friends during this time immediately after break may seem like a good idea, I don't recommend it. You need time for a reason, and this would only complicate things and not allow you to think clearly enough.
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This thread is to answer your question....what to do now...and that is why you started it...you are not being selfish, you want to know some things...
Liz said:
I'd like to atleast try being friends. And right now I'm about 50/50 about whether I did the right thing. Breaking off communication completely would make it a lot easier to move past... but this would be very very hard on him because he is a christian and did things with me he probably shouldn't have done, and he really does not want to go into a new relationship having sexual experiences with someone else.

I told him not to regret loving someone, and he said he doesn't regret *loving* me...

Ahh drama. I guess that's not my problem but it makes it a lot harder.

Haha sorry this thread is so selfish and about me. I just, I dunno. I value your input.
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ooohhh, disease and pregnancy...
Pallen81 said:
I recommend maybe at least one if not two or three rebound boys.

You won't even remember his name after that. Seems to work for all my friends that were girls in college. lol.
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My wife and I broke up and didn't talk to one another for about a month. We finally realized that we were supposed to be together. I went to where she was staying at the same time she came to my house. We ended up running into one another at a fast food place. Been together 16 years total, 13 of it married.

We also separated after 7 years of marriage for about a year but again realized that we needed to work through the problem, being apart did help us both realize a lot of selfish things on our parts and we're better for it.

What I'm trying to say is that the good outweigh the bad, if he was good to you and the only real problems are what you mentioned that stuff can be overcome.

Take your time and think things through, just because you're not seeing one another right now doesn't mean that its over.
 
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