Wedding Rings?
- Thread starter OrionGirl
- Start date
Wait lol. He told his family and you didn't know?
Sneaky little devil
He just must be super excited.
Sneaky little devil
He just must be super excited.It's called reverse snobbery. It is indeed a bad habit. It's a knee-jerk reaction that comes out whenever I perceive the possibility of people equating conspicuous consumption with love, intelligence, hard work, etc.
\hijack off\
Ok. Its just that I dont think its fair to judge someone for one purchase that is made by them (and mostly not even by them but by the person giving it to them!)
Then the same would have to go for the people who buy anything nice; cars, toys, vacations, etc. Or for the guy that buys a big high tech computer for his office when any old 300$ laptop could do.
The guy that buys a nice new mercedes could also be the guy that made other sacrifices to get his nice car and its simply that it is what he wanted. Assuming some one is rich or a spender because they have one nice thing is likely to lead to well...you know what they say about assuming! S
ame goes for small rings and other material things. Just because you see a woman who isn't loaded with diamonds and gold (for her own personal reasons) isn't a viable reason to say "wow, he must be poor! He can't even afford a nice ring! He must not love her very much!"
Maybe the guy who buys his fiancee a big fat ring is the same kind of guy that doesn't think that buying chocolates, jewelry and flowers on Valentine's day equates to showing that he loves her. You just can't assume anything about one little aspect of their material possession. It's foolish. IMO.
Then the same would have to go for the people who buy anything nice; cars, toys, vacations, etc. Or for the guy that buys a big high tech computer for his office when any old 300$ laptop could do.
The guy that buys a nice new mercedes could also be the guy that made other sacrifices to get his nice car and its simply that it is what he wanted. Assuming some one is rich or a spender because they have one nice thing is likely to lead to well...you know what they say about assuming!
Same goes for small rings and other material things. Just because you see a woman who isn't loaded with diamonds and gold (for her own personal reasons) isn't a viable reason to say "wow, he must be poor! He can't even afford a nice ring! He must not love her very much!"
Maybe the guy who buys his fiancee a big fat ring is the same kind of guy that doesn't think that buying chocolates, jewelry and flowers on Valentine's day equates to showing that he loves her. You just can't assume anything about one little aspect of their material possession. It's foolish. IMO.
I like the rings, they are pretty and practical.
So Leopardess- Does this mean that those of us who9 have *nothing* nice or top of the line can judge freely? Even my nicest belongings are secondhand, battered or just old. I think fancy cars, watches, tvs, etc are a waste. Even my computer is all secondhand and my OS is free.
So Leopardess- Does this mean that those of us who9 have *nothing* nice or top of the line can judge freely? Even my nicest belongings are secondhand, battered or just old. I think fancy cars, watches, tvs, etc are a waste. Even my computer is all secondhand and my OS is free.
No dapple. Thats my point. You can't judge a person's moral or personal qualities by their possessions.
I'd say its fair to judge them if they back it up with a bunch of talk though. Such as "My SO loves me soooo much because he/she spent 500$ on my birthday!" as if the amount something costs affects its personal value. In that case, feel free to say shut up
I'd say its fair to judge them if they back it up with a bunch of talk though. Such as "My SO loves me soooo much because he/she spent 500$ on my birthday!" as if the amount something costs affects its personal value. In that case, feel free to say shut up
OG ~ I think both are beautiful!!!
IMVHO 95% of people in this country make WAY too big of a deal out of a wedding. I'm not saying that weddings are important, not at all. But I look at my best friend who spent almost $30,000 - FOR ONE DAY?? Her parents pitched in some, she and her then fiance had a good savings for the day, and they are only really in about $3000 debt, which in the grand scheme of others' debts today isn't all that bad (and they just rolled it into their home so they have a decent rate at teh very least). She knew from the time she was little that her wedding day was going to be tops. She was the princess, the belle of the ball, and spared no expense. Her fiance, though he doesn't make much money, spent god only knows how much money on her ring (I don't know dollar amount, but the center diamond is just under 1 carat, and the 4 side diamonds totaly just under 3/4 of a carat, platinum setting, from Tiffany's of all places, diamond eternity band totalling just under 1 carat - he has the matching guy's band). If I had to venture a guess he definately spent the "mandated" 3 months probably 4 salary on that ring. She'd pointed out in magazines what she liked over the span of a few months, and he surprised her on a cruise with the ring (and nearly lost the surprise going through the metal detector at the airport - but that's another story).
I had absolutely no idea whatsoever that my husband was even looking at wedding rings! We'd been living together for 4 years, and were perfectly happy. Nothing against marriage, it just never came up. He proposed to me one morning, actually right around this time, end of October, and I said yes. My ring is stunning (imho
) just under 1 carat total, 18k gold, 1 center round diamond and 2 oval sides and I don't mind telling you that he spent just under $3000. I was absolutely mortified when I saw the receipt (for getting it insured) but he said to me if he didn't want to spend it, he wouldn't have spent it, and we could afford it. I would have been just as happy with a tiny fleck of a diamond - hell even no diamond at all!!! My band is gold w/ 6 tinydiamonds set in shaped in a V (to accomodate the odd way my engagement diamond is set) and hubby has a plain, very thick gold band. We ran away to Vegas to get married. Well not eloped as in nobody knew we were doing it - we had the vacation planned anyways, and we had started planning "the big day" when we both realized that it was not our scene, so we both said let's just get married while we're out there. To us, marriage is very important, but it's also a private thing between us - if that makes sense... nobody came, it was just the two of us. We had a little party for our family and friends when we got home. Total, including our 5 nite vegas trip, our "wedding" cost us just under $2000.
In my opinion wedding rings, engagement rings, weddings, to-do's, fancy functions, marriages - it's all between a woman and a man (or here in Massachusetts, a man and a man or a woman and woman) and nobody has the right to make any disparaging comments about anything surrounding it. To do so would be rude, uncalled for and unsolicited, and downright classless.
Go with whatever you and your SO think is best. I like the first ring better than the second one, but they are both stunning!!! Best wishes!!!!
~Tara
gee, this post turned into quite a novel, hehehe
IMVHO 95% of people in this country make WAY too big of a deal out of a wedding. I'm not saying that weddings are important, not at all. But I look at my best friend who spent almost $30,000 - FOR ONE DAY?? Her parents pitched in some, she and her then fiance had a good savings for the day, and they are only really in about $3000 debt, which in the grand scheme of others' debts today isn't all that bad (and they just rolled it into their home so they have a decent rate at teh very least). She knew from the time she was little that her wedding day was going to be tops. She was the princess, the belle of the ball, and spared no expense. Her fiance, though he doesn't make much money, spent god only knows how much money on her ring (I don't know dollar amount, but the center diamond is just under 1 carat, and the 4 side diamonds totaly just under 3/4 of a carat, platinum setting, from Tiffany's of all places, diamond eternity band totalling just under 1 carat - he has the matching guy's band). If I had to venture a guess he definately spent the "mandated" 3 months probably 4 salary on that ring. She'd pointed out in magazines what she liked over the span of a few months, and he surprised her on a cruise with the ring (and nearly lost the surprise going through the metal detector at the airport - but that's another story).
I had absolutely no idea whatsoever that my husband was even looking at wedding rings! We'd been living together for 4 years, and were perfectly happy. Nothing against marriage, it just never came up. He proposed to me one morning, actually right around this time, end of October, and I said yes. My ring is stunning (imho
) just under 1 carat total, 18k gold, 1 center round diamond and 2 oval sides and I don't mind telling you that he spent just under $3000. I was absolutely mortified when I saw the receipt (for getting it insured) but he said to me if he didn't want to spend it, he wouldn't have spent it, and we could afford it. I would have been just as happy with a tiny fleck of a diamond - hell even no diamond at all!!! My band is gold w/ 6 tinydiamonds set in shaped in a V (to accomodate the odd way my engagement diamond is set) and hubby has a plain, very thick gold band. We ran away to Vegas to get married. Well not eloped as in nobody knew we were doing it - we had the vacation planned anyways, and we had started planning "the big day" when we both realized that it was not our scene, so we both said let's just get married while we're out there. To us, marriage is very important, but it's also a private thing between us - if that makes sense... nobody came, it was just the two of us. We had a little party for our family and friends when we got home. Total, including our 5 nite vegas trip, our "wedding" cost us just under $2000.In my opinion wedding rings, engagement rings, weddings, to-do's, fancy functions, marriages - it's all between a woman and a man (or here in Massachusetts, a man and a man or a woman and woman) and nobody has the right to make any disparaging comments about anything surrounding it. To do so would be rude, uncalled for and unsolicited, and downright classless.
Go with whatever you and your SO think is best. I like the first ring better than the second one, but they are both stunning!!! Best wishes!!!!
~Tara
gee, this post turned into quite a novel, hehehe
I totally agree with Dwayne!! Why start off a relationship in debt!! Invite a small group of close friends, have an open bar, make lots of food. Have a FUN, casual reception and put the money into a home, retirement or even a nice honeymoon. Most people don't have much fun at a stuffy, formal reception anyway!!
OG, nice looking ring by the way!! I never wear rings due to work hazzards so we got squared away for half price
OG, nice looking ring by the way!! I never wear rings due to work hazzards so we got squared away for half price
Well, I'm more comfortable now. We had to go get our ring sizes confirmed, and shopped around at the same time. We asked for a ring like this one, and the number 1 response--from each jewelry store--was "Just one?!?" So, he realizes that this is not a typical engagement ring (which this will now be--carved gold bands as the wedding rings, his choice) and that there will be a few people who are critical. He's okay with it--asked me once if I was sure this was what I wanted, because he'd happily buy bigger/more rocks if I wanted. I said yes, I was sure, and he said okay, as long as I was happy. 
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy. 