A few "new tank" clarifications

I've done SW tanks before, but not for a while (switched to african cichlids for several years). "Nemo" and it's hold on my 4-year-old, combined with my wife's comments on how she misses our old SW tank has brought me back to the fold.

So I got a 40 breeder for the kids playroom and I'm getting ready to set it up. I'm going to do live sand and live rock as my plan is to do fish with a few of the easier-to-keep corals, maybe an anemone once things really get going. I have adequate filtration, skimmer, good lighting, etc. I've been reading lots of posts here to make sure I don't ask lots of questions that have been covered recently. Corax's thread was a big help. So here are my questions. I hope someone can help.

1) I'm going with the assumption that the prepackaged products (including that new one that's refrigerated) that claim to help cycle your tank quickly aren't worth the money. I don't believe they can really cycle your tank in 24 hours, but I guess my question is do they give the process a little help or are they completely worthless and just don't bother? I'm drilling into my son's head that this is all going to take time, but I don't mind dropping a few bucks if it actually does speed things up by a few days or even a week.

2) Corax's comments about "burning" expensive live rock during cycling make me wonder if I should consider buying some of the less expensive live rock from my LFS to use as base rock, then get the nicer stuff after I've cycled. Does that make sense to do? If so, should I wait to get the live sand as well, or is that ok for cycling? I was planning to mix live sand with a healthy dose of Southdown (and perhaps Argonite for buffering, but I haven't decided yet).

3) I was wondering if mogurnda or anyone from the DC/Baltimore area (or anywhere else from that matter) was familiar with, or had purchased from, Dr. Mac & Sons (located on MD eastern shore: http://www.drmaccorals.com/sys-tmpl/door/). I was looking for a good source for live rock/sand and contemplating getting one of the "cleaner packages" that some of these sites (MarineDepot, LiveAquaria) offer once I get the tank cycled.

4) I've seen one recent post about the use of RO water and wondered if anyone else had comments about how important/unimportant this is for me. I haven't ever used RO water in the past, but I also haven't ever tried to do a reef (or half-reef, whatever it is I'm doing) tank before and, expense aside, I really don't like having fish die...I feel like a failure. So I want to do what's right but avoid a couple hundred additional $$$ if it isn't needed.

5) Does anyone have suggestions on the arrangement of live rock and in-tank powerheads? I saw OrionGirl's suggestion on doing an offset arrangment, which I'm going to do. Is it enough to have one pointed behind the live rock along the back of the tank, another another on the other side pointed out towards the front? Is it better to not have a circular pattern like that and do something else that's a little more random? Am I trying to agitate the surface, or is that really secondary to getting all the dead spots in the tank?

Sorry, I know that's a bit much all at once but thanks for help response and help. Looking forward to participating on these boards.

Great answers, thanks. A couple of follow-up questions.

1) Is there any way to test to see if the Bio-Spira really works? Like, if you use it and then drop a cocktail shrimp in, could you test to see if ammonia et al stays at zero and, if so, that's that?

2) I assume any lava rock should work then? I have some I've used for my african cichlid tanks. Would it be ok to simply pull some out, rinse it off, and use it for my foundation, and add LR later? What's the amount of live sand I'll need to mix with the Southdown. Like, am I looking at 2 lbs or 20 or 40? Not sure how much I need to plan on to get things going.

3) I assume the aforementioned cleaner packages these sites sell are an ok approach to putting together a "cleaning crew," or am I better off picking and choosing crabs, shrimp, etc. on my own?

5) Any suggestions on how to do this? I've never really had to worry to much previously about dead spots (ie, in a cichlid tank I can just move rocks around). Just trial and error moving them around and changing the direction of the flow?

Again, many thanks for the help and advice. I ordered a few of the books mentioned here to get me going as well. It'll be good reading material for my upcoming trip to Hawaii.

I haven't seen activator kits before. Who sells them, or where have you gotten yours? Sounds like an interesting option.

Thanks for the info Dave. Unfortunately the meeting is during my trip, so I won't make it. But I'll definitely keep up with it and try to make the next meeting. Sounds cool. Plus, by then I'll have a tank that could actually accept some new occupants.