Watcher bounced along on the ancient donkey following the gradually disappearing column of dust thrown up by Daveedka’s and TKOS’s enthusiastic charge.
“That’s alright guys. You head on out. I’ll just come along behind,” muttered Watcher. “Humph. Well it looks like it’s just me and you, Donk.”
The donkey ignored Watcher’s rambling and silently plodded down the trail.
“Well, I might as well take this time to do a little recreational activity.”
Watcher reached back in his pack and pulled out a large flask. He tried his best to keep the amber liquid from sloshing out as he opened the lid, threw back his head, and started pouring it down his throat.
*************************************************
Many hours later Daveedka and TKOS came over the top of one of the many hills that covered the countryside.
“Hold!” Daveedka called out, pulling sharply on his reigns. TKOS followed suite and soon both of the large warhorses had pulled to a sudden stop.
“There!” Dave exclaimed, “That should be the camp of Tyler718 and his crew.”
“Aye,” chimed in TKOS, “This is the spot RTR told us to expect them. Let’s hurry up and move in. My butt is getting sorer than I care to think about on this animal.”
As the two companions pulled up to the camp, a tall, muscular soldier walked out of the center of the tents. He was in well used and serviceable amour and had a large broadsword strapped to his back.
“Ho, Tyler!” TKOS called, “Good to see you my friend. How are things shaping up?”
Tyler removed his dull helmet and began to speak as the two climbed down from their mounts.
“Not good,” Tyler returned. “The new conglomerate PetSmartco has built a fortress in the township of Eheim and is spreading their influence in all directions. It’s only a matter of time before they cause irreparable damage.”
“Eheim?” Daveedka queried. “Why Eheim of all places?”
“Simple. It is the fastest growing town in AC. With all the arriving new citizens to our land they have the ability to seed their manifesto among the ignorant.”
“I understand now how dire the situation is. When do we go on the attack?” Daveedka gripped the handle of his sword at his belt.
“First we need to do reconnaissance of the township. Tomorrow we will head towards Eheim and assess the situation more closely. What word does RTR bring?”
“RTR has sent us here with a powerful new weapon which will provide much assistance in our battle. An explosive dust called ‘Gunpowder’.” TKOS explained.
“Explosive you say?” Tyler rubbed an old scar on his cheek. “Where is this ‘Gunpowder’?”
“Well…it will be along presently. A new pig keeper with the name of Watcher is bringing it along behind us. Hopefully he will arrive before nightfall.” Daveedka replied.
“Very well. Come rest my friends. There is venison roasting over the fire and a half keg of mead has just been opened. Rest from your long ride and let us discuss our tactics.”
*******************************************
The dark, orange rays of the setting sun found Watcher laying face down on the back of the donkey still bouncing down the dirt trail.
Watcher lifted his head and blinked red veined eyes at the back of the donkey’s head.
“Yuur an A**. You know that? Issss stupid a**. Hiccup!” Watcher swayed a little and clung tightly to keep from falling off his transportation.
“You’re ahhh hairy a**, too. Shuppose you never realized that. Stinky, hairy a**. But I luv ya. Cause yer my a**. I love my a**. See I’ll kiss ya, cause I luv ya. Shtupid a**.”
Suddenly the donkey came to a halt, causing Watcher to almost fall forward off the donkey. He rested his chin on the top of the animal’s head to see why he wasn’t bouncy bouncy anymore.
Tyler718 stood directly in front of both man and beast holding the reigns.
“Hold there, my friend. You almost rode right by our camp. Your friends have been anxiously awaiting you and the precious cargo you bring.”
Watcher pulled himself up to a sitting position, looked as directly as he could at the grizzled soldier and said, “Shuddup and kiss my stinky, hairy a**.”
Daveedka and TKOS jumped to their feet at the sound of the distant commotion. Both shot a quick glance at one another, pulled out their weapons, and ran toward the sounds of violence. As they came up to the location of the disturbance they witnessed Tyler718 standing behind the donkey. He was holding the donkey’s tail in one hand and was trying viciously with the other hand to shove Watcher’s head up the animal’s butt.
“How’s that for a stinky, hairy a**! Huh? Is that good enough for you!”
A muffled screaming came from the location of Watcher’s face. Either that or the donkey had a frightening case of gas.
“Tyler! Tyler! Stop!” TKOS yelled as both he and Daveedka grabbed onto Tyler’s arms and pulled him away.
“I’m going to shove his head in there and chop it off at the neck! Don’t try to stop me!”
“Calm down, Tyler! He’s young. And knowing Watcher, probably too drunk to stand.”
Watcher sat in the dust rubbing his face as hard as he could with his shirt. “Augh! I’m blind! My God, the horror!”
Tyler slowly cooled down and could be released by TKOS and Daveedka.
“Pig Boy! Go get washed up and get some sleep. We approach the enemy tomorrow at dawn.” Dave grumbled to Watcher as he stormed back to the camp.
The donkey looked down at Watcher with a look of indignation as he sat panting on the trail. Watcher looked up and said, “What? You think you had it bad? Shoulda been on my shide of it.”
With that he leaned down and barfed the last of his booze into the dirt.
“That’s alright guys. You head on out. I’ll just come along behind,” muttered Watcher. “Humph. Well it looks like it’s just me and you, Donk.”
The donkey ignored Watcher’s rambling and silently plodded down the trail.
“Well, I might as well take this time to do a little recreational activity.”
Watcher reached back in his pack and pulled out a large flask. He tried his best to keep the amber liquid from sloshing out as he opened the lid, threw back his head, and started pouring it down his throat.
*************************************************
Many hours later Daveedka and TKOS came over the top of one of the many hills that covered the countryside.
“Hold!” Daveedka called out, pulling sharply on his reigns. TKOS followed suite and soon both of the large warhorses had pulled to a sudden stop.
“There!” Dave exclaimed, “That should be the camp of Tyler718 and his crew.”
“Aye,” chimed in TKOS, “This is the spot RTR told us to expect them. Let’s hurry up and move in. My butt is getting sorer than I care to think about on this animal.”
As the two companions pulled up to the camp, a tall, muscular soldier walked out of the center of the tents. He was in well used and serviceable amour and had a large broadsword strapped to his back.
“Ho, Tyler!” TKOS called, “Good to see you my friend. How are things shaping up?”
Tyler removed his dull helmet and began to speak as the two climbed down from their mounts.
“Not good,” Tyler returned. “The new conglomerate PetSmartco has built a fortress in the township of Eheim and is spreading their influence in all directions. It’s only a matter of time before they cause irreparable damage.”
“Eheim?” Daveedka queried. “Why Eheim of all places?”
“Simple. It is the fastest growing town in AC. With all the arriving new citizens to our land they have the ability to seed their manifesto among the ignorant.”
“I understand now how dire the situation is. When do we go on the attack?” Daveedka gripped the handle of his sword at his belt.
“First we need to do reconnaissance of the township. Tomorrow we will head towards Eheim and assess the situation more closely. What word does RTR bring?”
“RTR has sent us here with a powerful new weapon which will provide much assistance in our battle. An explosive dust called ‘Gunpowder’.” TKOS explained.
“Explosive you say?” Tyler rubbed an old scar on his cheek. “Where is this ‘Gunpowder’?”
“Well…it will be along presently. A new pig keeper with the name of Watcher is bringing it along behind us. Hopefully he will arrive before nightfall.” Daveedka replied.
“Very well. Come rest my friends. There is venison roasting over the fire and a half keg of mead has just been opened. Rest from your long ride and let us discuss our tactics.”
*******************************************
The dark, orange rays of the setting sun found Watcher laying face down on the back of the donkey still bouncing down the dirt trail.
Watcher lifted his head and blinked red veined eyes at the back of the donkey’s head.
“Yuur an A**. You know that? Issss stupid a**. Hiccup!” Watcher swayed a little and clung tightly to keep from falling off his transportation.
“You’re ahhh hairy a**, too. Shuppose you never realized that. Stinky, hairy a**. But I luv ya. Cause yer my a**. I love my a**. See I’ll kiss ya, cause I luv ya. Shtupid a**.”
Suddenly the donkey came to a halt, causing Watcher to almost fall forward off the donkey. He rested his chin on the top of the animal’s head to see why he wasn’t bouncy bouncy anymore.
Tyler718 stood directly in front of both man and beast holding the reigns.
“Hold there, my friend. You almost rode right by our camp. Your friends have been anxiously awaiting you and the precious cargo you bring.”
Watcher pulled himself up to a sitting position, looked as directly as he could at the grizzled soldier and said, “Shuddup and kiss my stinky, hairy a**.”
Daveedka and TKOS jumped to their feet at the sound of the distant commotion. Both shot a quick glance at one another, pulled out their weapons, and ran toward the sounds of violence. As they came up to the location of the disturbance they witnessed Tyler718 standing behind the donkey. He was holding the donkey’s tail in one hand and was trying viciously with the other hand to shove Watcher’s head up the animal’s butt.
“How’s that for a stinky, hairy a**! Huh? Is that good enough for you!”
A muffled screaming came from the location of Watcher’s face. Either that or the donkey had a frightening case of gas.
“Tyler! Tyler! Stop!” TKOS yelled as both he and Daveedka grabbed onto Tyler’s arms and pulled him away.
“I’m going to shove his head in there and chop it off at the neck! Don’t try to stop me!”
“Calm down, Tyler! He’s young. And knowing Watcher, probably too drunk to stand.”
Watcher sat in the dust rubbing his face as hard as he could with his shirt. “Augh! I’m blind! My God, the horror!”
Tyler slowly cooled down and could be released by TKOS and Daveedka.
“Pig Boy! Go get washed up and get some sleep. We approach the enemy tomorrow at dawn.” Dave grumbled to Watcher as he stormed back to the camp.
The donkey looked down at Watcher with a look of indignation as he sat panting on the trail. Watcher looked up and said, “What? You think you had it bad? Shoulda been on my shide of it.”
With that he leaned down and barfed the last of his booze into the dirt.
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:sad