View Full Version : Aquarium vs Wife
Alaric
02-28-2003, 1:31 AM
I came home tonight to find 2 small yet very heavy vases precariously perched above my 125 gallon aquarium on a small shelf. My wife, proud of her decorative creation, informed me she had spent all week shopping for just the right items to place on the shelf. When I say proud I mean it. She had been staring at it for hours thinking about how perfect it looked. Hence my dilemma. Well realy there was no question. The vases had to go. Not only was the shelf small but its sturdiness was suspicious as well. Plus the bases of the vases were uneven and wobbly not to mention deceptively heavy. Now my tank cost me about $2000 when ya factor in the adult malawis I bought at inflated prices and I wasnt about to throw all that away for some vases that cost $30. Oh and of course the shelf and its decorations would not look right anywhere else according to her. Anyway I kinda feel bad but I had to take a stand! Not sure but maybe there is a way I can make it work for both of us....
"W" Rules
125gJoe
02-28-2003, 3:11 AM
Spend another $30 on a better shelf....
wetmanNY
02-28-2003, 3:56 AM
Shop for it together. It's got to be up to the quality of the vases she's bought...
Do you know about museum wax? You warm up a smidgen and wax those vases onto the shelf so an earthquake won't topple 'em. (Let her in on the thing, so she doesn't go to shift them to dust them...)
Not sure but maybe there is a way I can make it work for both of us....
No, there isn't.
When it comes to wives and aquaria, the wives always win, believe me. That is why I have four empty tanks in my store room.
Just love the vases. You have no choice.
The sturdier shelf is a good idea.
beviking
02-28-2003, 8:23 AM
Originally posted by Alaric
...and of course the shelf and its decorations would not look right anywhere else according to her.
And "your" tank wouldn't look right decorated any different than the way you have it either, right?
It is your (collectively-meaning yours and your wifes) house? You can make it work, there's always a way. I agree with the above, sturdier shelf and waxing. What about something else that may accent or blend the vases and/or the tank to bring them together. I'm not much of an interior decorator, but I too am married and...enough said.
kveeti
02-28-2003, 9:48 AM
Take out the shelf all together. Return the vases and let her buy herself some expensive jewelry. Well, that's what would work for me.
famman
02-28-2003, 10:11 AM
Break the vases and put them into the aquarium as decor.
good luck
:)
JSchmidt
02-28-2003, 10:55 AM
This sounds like a newlywed question! Wife always wins. Topic/subject doesn't matter. Don't whine, don't resist, don't complain. Just mourn the loss of your freedom and get over it.
;)
Jim
BluEyes
02-28-2003, 1:03 PM
A sturdier (and larger?) shelf definately is certainly a good idea
You're in Michigan, so I don't think earthquakes are a big concern...
Besides, IF they do fall, what do you have to lose? The coverglass will get broken, and the vases will fall into the aquarium. Once they hit the water they'll slow alot, so I highly doubt they'd break the tank. The glass might even be strong enough that the vase would break instead.
You could also make a wooden cover over the aquarium - have it hinge up so you can get to the coverglass underneath and lights and all. Be sure to put vents in, but this way if the vases fall, they'll just break on the wooden cover! (or crack the wood on top, but heck) You could even put the vases ON the cover. No chance of fallage then...
superstein61
02-28-2003, 2:32 PM
Alaric - its a no-win. Either reinforce the existing shelf - or help your wife find a sturdier one that you volunteer to put up. then get the wax - or there is a putty that holds things in place but can be removed that some folks use as well (can't recall what it is called, but I know some stein collectors out in California who use it to secure very expensive antique steins to shelves to withstand quakes)- and have them hold the vases safely in place
NJ Devils Fan
02-28-2003, 2:44 PM
ss is right, you lose either way.
Wives only win if you let them. Just take the vases down and help her find another place to put them.
Alex
Fishy3
02-28-2003, 2:58 PM
I have the other way around. I am the fish person and my husband is the, "Let's hang this over the tank!" :D
wetmanNY
02-28-2003, 3:51 PM
Put the vases in the aquarium and spawn Kribs in them. Put a photo of her mother on the shelf.
Guys, marriage is not about winning or losing. There's usually a way for things to work out for both people. I like the California putty idea. Or, you could put some cork on the shelf, that might help and would provide a cushion if the vases fell over.
In any case, not all women like frilly things like that. In fact, some of us are right here listening to the conversation. Let's stay on topic, OK?
Yea, I have it the other way around too. I'm the fish person, and
my husband says "lets put this IN the tank" I'd be happier if he"d put something above the tank the try to tell what to put in the tank. (and no, he dosn't want his own. he'd just rather play with mine):p
Gumby7
02-28-2003, 8:36 PM
Communication.
Explain to your wife why it has to change. Don't forget to tell her you like the vases (assuming you do).
Agree to help her select a better shelf this weekend. Go with her. Alternatively if you are handy build one with her design input.
You install the shelf. Screw it to the studs, don't hang it on the drywall.
If the vases are inherently unstable (small base) attach them to the shelf. If you can't find that stuff use something else like silicon or double sided carpet tape. (If you were in an earthquake zone you could tie them near the top to a screw eye in the wall with fish line).
Alternatively consider two "single vase" shelves, on either side of your tank. Perhaps with a complementary picture over the tank if required.
Remember she has probably had to put up with your fish keeping idiosyncrasies. Cut her some slack in the home decorating department.
Gumby (with girlfriend->wife 20years)
Put the vases in the aquarium and spawn Kribs in them. Put a photo of her mother on the shelf.
This only works if the kribs can't see the picture. A picture of a mother in law can easily make fish stop breeding and cause blue green algae :D
No, seriously, as I, JSchmidt and others told you, your wife WILL have it her way. But don't feel bad, it is still a reasonable situation - as soon as you have children, you will loose out to your wife AND your children.
Then you will just have to keep quiet and limit your interests to water changes (if they agree!).
mechanic
03-01-2003, 8:52 AM
A sturdier shelf is a good idea,but I would tell my wife how fantastic her stuff looks where it is.BUT the aquarium needs to be moved because of her stuff.AND since you have to move it anyway,you pretty much HAVE to upgrade to a tank that's twice as large.
Trust me this angle will work,one way or another!
Later Eric:D
125gJoe
03-01-2003, 11:11 AM
Originally posted by Botch
This only works if the kribs can't see the picture. A picture of a mother in law can easily make fish stop breeding and cause blue green algae :D So, that's why you cover the tank for 3 days and hope for the best? :D
O-man21
03-01-2003, 11:21 AM
even then the fry may die of shock.
jiggerpolebill
03-01-2003, 2:12 PM
maybe you could remove the shelf and the vases and paint exact replicas of them on the wall. if you do a good job, she may never know the difference... unless she comes within 50ft of it.
it works in the cartoons, anyway.
beviking
03-01-2003, 9:33 PM
O.k. O.k, here is how you do it.
You casually say that the vases don't look too sturdy on that shelf. Pause for a few minutes. Depending on how "quick" your wife is (she may instantly figure out that if it isn't sturdy here vases will crash) you may or may not add that you wouldn't want them to fall and crash. Don't sound too sarcastic or she'll figure you out and she'll absolutely leave them there just b/c she knew you were trying to "trick" her into moving them.
The idea is to give as few hints as possible to guide her toward making her own conclusion that the vases need to be secured, moved, returned, whatever. Then when she thinks of it "herself", you can agree and deal with it. Again, don't gloat or sit there with a big cheesy grin or she'll figure out what you did (again, depending on how "quick" your wife is - which btw, has little to do with intelligence) and you'll be back to square 1 or less!
Dragon_Lord_Tia
03-02-2003, 11:56 PM
why dont you let her her own pots to put in the tank for decoration that way u keep the tank and she keeps the pots:D ;)
but dont break them use them as caves or what ever think about it ;)
Weasel6
03-03-2003, 10:06 AM
The vases will under no circumstances go above YOUR tank PERIOD! If she doesn't like it, well tough s..t. Tell'r to go back and live with her mother where you found her if she doesn't like it. You will not jepordize your fish's lives with some cheap, 10 cent, ugly as sin, knock off, imitation, flea market vase. And a picture of her godforsaken,straight from hell mother above the tank would traumatize the fish and produce deformed, very low quality fry. Not even fit for feeders. Thats the way its gonna be becasue as long sa she lives under your roof, she better **** well do as you say 'cause you are the MAN of the house and thats the way its gonna be. So put that in your pipe and smoke it Hun.
You tell'r that and she'll say nothing. Nothing but mouth on the floor, jaw dropping shock. At this point you throw your chin up high, smile and say "huh, guess I set you straight?"
This'll last about 5 minutes. At which point she grabs ahold of the aformentioned vases, both of them, grips them tight and slings both of them with the speed and power of a Roger Clemens fastball right through the front of YOUR tank.
Well now comes the fun part. You gravel a bit, apologize constantly, tell'r you were only kidding, you love her mother and that she gets her beauty from her, have Ma over for steaks, gravel some more. She'll begin to feel bad after all the apologizing, graveling, you couch sleeping and having cut you off for a month that she'll take you out and buy you a ready to go, complete set up 200+ gal. tank with all the trimmings including your choice of stock, ( let her pick a few though for good measure).
See, if you play it right you can come out of this way ahead. It could be tricky but if ya' play ya' cards right, and I mean just right, you'll end up smelling like a rose.
If that doesn't work, prior to her throwing the vases, lower the shelf as low as you can in relation to tank maint. and get a piece of clear plexiglass to lay on top of the tank in key areas where the vases might hit. Shouldn't distract any if ya' do it right and camoflage it some.
The choice is yours, 200+ new tank or plexiglass.
Grab the bull by the horns and go for the new tank. I dare ya'.
:D
ROTFLMAO
The best thing I could've ever done for my fishkeeping hobby was to add a dog to my 3-cat menagerie. My husband pitched a fit and said not ONE MORE furry creature in this house, or he's sleeping in the truck. Now when I want to bring anything home that doesn't have fur he's happy as a clam. ;)
kveeti
03-03-2003, 9:45 PM
Originally posted by Heady
My husband pitched a fit and said not ONE MORE furry creature in this house, or he's sleeping in the truck.
Heady, that's a bad thing? I think I would have handed my husband a pillow.
RBlanc
03-04-2003, 2:23 PM
Originally posted by punch
he'd just rather play with mine):p
Hahahahaha, guess what I just thought of:D
BluEyes
03-04-2003, 3:53 PM
Originally posted by Heady
The best thing I could've ever done for my fishkeeping hobby was to add a dog to my 3-cat menagerie.
3 cats counts as a menagerie? LOL, we have 3 permanant dogs, varying amounts of foster dogs (currently 3) and 4 cats (sadly, down from 6).
Fur is a part of my diet!
Oh, also a total of 6 tanks - two hers. Of course, she complains about MY tanks... :rolleyes:
VoodooChild
03-04-2003, 4:07 PM
Step 1) Buy a puppy
2) Surprise wife, all girls love puppies
3) When wife is occupied, sell vases on Ebay
4) Take earnings, buy yourself a beer
5) When puppy becomes a nuisance, sell that on Ebay
6) Repeat step 4
I thought this over for a good 15 seconds. It can't fail. If it does, I'll buy you a beer.
1) Place aquarium precariously perched above vases on lower shelf
2) Discuss compromise options in light of new perspective :D
Alaric
03-05-2003, 12:54 AM
Well I won! My wife moved the vases to another area of the house and bought something else to put on the shelf above the tank that is MUCH lighter in weight. Thanks for all the responses they were fun to read! I guess Im lucky. My wife is pretty easy going so after an initial "fit" she got over it. Maybe its becuz Ive only been married a year but,.... I sure hope she stays this docile.
kveeti
03-05-2003, 8:01 AM
Well, Alaric, your post has certainly sprouted an entertaining thread. Just a tiny word of warning from a woman. Yes, you have "won" but be on guard. In a week, a month, a year, the placement of those vases will sneak into another 'confrontation' when you least expect it.
VoodooChild
03-05-2003, 10:49 AM
LOLOLOLOL. "I hope she stays this docile". Man, that's great. It's like describing an African. "I hope my melanochromis stays this docile." Heh heh. That's funny.
RBlanc
03-05-2003, 10:52 AM
They've only been married a year. The claws and fangs haven't come in yet:D
beviking
03-05-2003, 11:31 AM
kveeti is right!!! Or else she'll keep this "win" (her "loss") in her memory for far more than a year and use it any way she can to her advantage.
"It's just a weekend getaway with the girls. They just call it a bachelorette party. Besides, remember the time..."
OR
"I like the bedroom painted with flowers. I let you move my vases, remember?"
OR
"I can't find my teeth. Can I use yours? I know you don't remember having an aquarium, but I rearranged the entire room just for you and that tank."
THEY NEVER FORGET!!!
BluEyes
03-05-2003, 11:48 AM
LOL, all so true, so true...
But, it's not win/lose, because then it becomes a constant battle - it's compromise, so you're both happy.
No, married life is always about winning and losing. The wife wins, the husband looses. He may win small battles, but the war? Never... :rolleyes:
superstein61
03-06-2003, 7:41 AM
Originally posted by Alaric
Maybe its becuz Ive only been married a year but,.... I sure hope she stays this docile.
LOL - ahhh, to be nnewly married and naive - Wait til reality sets in ;) Don't worry, she has that one chalked up in her memory bank to pull out when she needs to ;)
BluEyes
03-06-2003, 3:38 PM
Originally posted by Botch
No, married life is always about winning and losing. The wife wins, the husband looses. He may win small battles, but the war? Never... :rolleyes:
LOL, that's a possibility... Or, maybe that's just what they call compromise?