Had a stroke a few months ago, im now force too call it quits

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OldManOfTheSea

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Mar 21, 2007
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Hillsborough NC
Date of minor stroke 5/02/2010

Date I began this message 5/27/2010

Due to the minor stroke, I knowingly began this message knowing it would take me a long while to complete it, while each time reviewing this message, I was editing it due to the many errors made, so hopefully when posted, this message will be clear enough for all too understand. For im only able to type a short while depending on my physical strength and disabilities that was cursed by the minor stroke on 5/02/2010. My doctor advised that following the minor stroke I should remain hospitalized for close observation due to any further complications. I was told that I was at risk of a possible full blown stroke in the next few days to a stronger and more serious stroke.

Since 5/02/2010 I only seen my grandchildren I think three times, im unable to help with the kids as I done so sense almost eight years ago following their birth. Im sleeping a great deal these days for which im feeling extremely over tired much of the time and due to the stroke im left with a content piercing headache with a lost of vision and im setup with a specialist for as well, my hearing I feel has as well been damaged. As well im mostly always feel with extreme confusion and so, most of the time im staying home now for I now only try driving when its only a must.

I just remembered that im with numbness feelings on the left side of my face and left leg, it was hard to know this after the stroke because I was with great deal of confusion.

The reason for this message is that im very sad to say that I am force to quit the hobby after so many enjoyable years of tis marine hobby. And now im looking for what else I might do in the place of the marine hobby and im thinking of going back to oil painting and as for reading, it will have it difficulties for I been trying to read much at this time and I find myself falling a sleep and always awaking feeling confused, and I remember little at time of what I readied before falling a sleep.

I can say that im for the first time after so many years is feeling extremely scared, with fear to what if this disability becomes much worst.

I will be looking to sell my tanks and books and such, put I first need to put the time into it to taking pictures of everything and hopefully most items will be pick up in person, if I need to ship certain items, I will need the time to get a proper box for that shipping, put the tanks are to be pick up only.

I also almost forgotten that im with a strong numb feeling inside my skull, you know, like a feeling after some ones head struck a hard floor. I guess I cannot exactly explain that as well as I would like too.

So there be three large tanks, the two tanks I had setup as my eel tanks has been setup as one system. It’s a 70 and 120 gallon tanks with a 40 gallon sump I think it is with a euroreef skimmer and under the other tank stand is a UV with a chiller.

The other tank was to be my dream SPS tank, but I see now that it will never happen now, I waited so long and paid so much and now im with no choice but to call it quits. But rather then to say im quitting, im retiring from the hobby. Also I have the equipment I brought, the chiller for the 240 and skimmer with a calcium reactor. There be books and a few hundred lbs of aragonite sand, its clean and in 5.5 gallon pails.

Pictures of everything when I can manage it, will be taking of every item. Its funny, I bought a Macro lens a few years ago believing that I will have this reef tank up and running. Now I will either trade it in or I do some other hobby with it taking photos of butterflies and such.

On my computer, I had my computer guy make larger and have a magnifier for other wise I have for more greater problems to read anything. I do hope that this message is fully understood that im with no choice to retire from this marine hobby. I will retake up oil painting and take photos outdoors when im able too. I been typing a little ever so on and had been editing often for there would be many more errors.

After making a personal decision to retire from this marine hobby and I waited a few weeks so to know for sure my decision to leaving the hobby was a right choice to make. The thing here is, im napping much of the day off and on, for most days im taking three too four long naps. Im very tired at most times and I fall to sleep now quite easily, with that, im up most of the night, were as I sleep much of the day.

The one other thing which troubles me is that I wish to be always able to fend for myself, but it is much difficult now to manage cleaning house, I can not do as well in this as I done before the stroke. You all can see why im with much concern and is also a reason to wanting to move from this house in which the nearest house is about a few hundred yards down the road, so im with no one living near to check in on me, or my condition. And so im hoping to move from here somewhere after 18 months and I of course would need to find a walk in apartment.

I been also during these past two months, working on the list of items to sell. It isn`t the much typing I done, but rather was difficulty, much more difficulty then its ever been. I deleted the hundreds of files and everything totaled more then a thousand links for a few hundreds a lone were articles.

Sincerely,
Buddy
 

Rbishop

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Dec 30, 2005
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Mr. Normal
Sorry to hear of your illness. Hope your recovery goes smooth.
 

user_name

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May 23, 2010
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Cam
Hope you start feeling better, I hate to see you leave the hobby.......
 

James0816

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Feb 14, 2007
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Sure do hope you get a full recovery! Hopefully, somehow, maybe you can manage to keep one tank around. They are very therapeutic.
 

Fishfriend1

Fishlover Extraordinaire
Dec 11, 2009
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I hope your recovery goes well, and i hope that you can find something fun to do instead of fish keeping. Good Luck.
 

dixienut

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Jun 15, 2006
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Hookstown/Georgetown area pennsylvania
hope you have a more significant recovery and that all the risk is over, for another,.. please get well soon,. and my thoughts and prayers are with you,..
 

noodles62

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Apr 17, 2008
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I am so sorry that you are going through a hard time. Best wishes for your recovery. Keep working at rehabilitating yourself as many effects from a stroke are reversable. Definately do something therapeutic for yourself.
 

afishpond

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Dec 4, 2009
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may god be with you wish you best of luck my dad had one many years ago and had a hard way to go for some time but did get over it just tuck time take care .
 

excuzzzeme

Stroke Survivor '05
Before you quit the hobby I would hope you read this:

I had multiple strokes on 7/17/2005. I have had many more mini-strokes since then. Mini-strokes are usually not damaging but if you have too many they will and do as mine have.

Sleeping is your brain's way of taking over to heal. Your brain heals most when you are asleep. Extreme fatigue, confusion, etc are all very normal following a stroke. I would sleep between 18 and 20 hrs a day but as time progressed, I slept less. Severe headache usually is a precursor and will continue for a while after; it too is normal.

I have limited vision in my right eye, limited use of my right side and still have limited stamina 5 years later. Numbness may or may not go away, only time will tell. It will take time to heal. Healing will be a process for the rest of your life. You have a great deal of input into your recovery.

The fish hobby is my distraction and is limited to freshwater only. Having fish has helped me greatly.

Along with the physical problems, I am overwhelmed easily, can do only very basic math, have memory problems, have speech problems and reading comprehension problems. Following direction and being able to grasp abstract ideas is also near impossible. With dedication and hard work, it is getting better. As you learn to understand your limits you will find ways to compensate for them.

You will never be what you once were. It is a physical impossibility. You will need to adjust and find what you can do. Start out with easy projects and then work up to more complex as your brain allows. Push your limits but within reason. If you don't, you will never know what those limits are.

You must continually challenge yourself and do things that will force you to think and use your mind. It is hard work and will exhaust you but it will also help to heal.

No one is able to understand what you are going through and will go through. Nothing compares to it. The only people that can understand are those that are survivors. Counseling and support groups will help you to find ways to compensate. Both physical and mental rehab really do help.

Feel free to drop me a note with questions.

Most of all be a SURVIVOR! Plant that thought in your head and hang on to it.

I AM A SURVIVOR - 07/17/2005 to present.
 
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