As for the eating, have you tried her on any other prepared foods? My cichlids will even peck at sunken shrimp pellets to eat. Does she try the flakes at all and spit them out?
I would see about trying a better quality flake then. I feed Omega One cichlid flakes and my fish go nuts for it. NLS and Hikari are other good brands. Kens Fish sells some really great foods as well. I use his Spirulina flakes a couple times a week to mix up the diet.