Venting is of course the best way. Maybe if you post a pic I can help. I find females to be mroe rounded and slightly smaller where males are more streamlined. I'm talking specifically about spathodus. I have an eretmodus, but only a single, and I have not had t. irsacae in years and don't remember. Also, you should be able to throw any two together and have them breed given ample space for the female to get away from the male. I had them in 55's and currently in a 75 with no ill effects as long as there were hiding spots. I'd like to see your list of other fish though before you get them. They have different diet requirements than most fish and get bloat easier than tropheus.
