I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I
placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and
began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read
the 20/20 line perfectly. Now your left."
Again, a flawless read. Now both,"I requested. There
was silence. He couldn't even read the
large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that
he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing
there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing
too hard to finish the exam.
--Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with
his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor,
that he was having trouble with one of his
medications. Which one? I asked. "The patch. The nurse
told me to put on a new one every six hours and
now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had
him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I
wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
--Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I
asked, "How long have you been bed-ridden?"
After a look of complete confusion she answered .
Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive."
--Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,
So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
It's very good, except for the Kentucky
Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,"
the patient replied. I then asked to see the
jelly and the woman produced a foil packet
labeled "KY Jelly."
--Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
And Finally . . . .
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite
embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover
his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed
a habit of whistling softly.
The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this
exam suddenly burst out laughing and further
embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and
sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were
whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
--won't admit his name
placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and
began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read
the 20/20 line perfectly. Now your left."
Again, a flawless read. Now both,"I requested. There
was silence. He couldn't even read the
large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that
he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing
there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing
too hard to finish the exam.
--Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with
his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor,
that he was having trouble with one of his
medications. Which one? I asked. "The patch. The nurse
told me to put on a new one every six hours and
now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had
him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I
wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
--Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I
asked, "How long have you been bed-ridden?"
After a look of complete confusion she answered .
Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive."
--Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,
So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
It's very good, except for the Kentucky
Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,"
the patient replied. I then asked to see the
jelly and the woman produced a foil packet
labeled "KY Jelly."
--Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
And Finally . . . .
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite
embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover
his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed
a habit of whistling softly.
The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this
exam suddenly burst out laughing and further
embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and
sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were
whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
--won't admit his name
