Groaner jokes
- Thread starter Matak
- Start date
A duck walks into a bar and sits down on a stool.
Bartender says can I help you?
Duck looks at him and says..Got any grapes?
Bartender says no we are a bar we don't sell grapes. get out.
The duck leaves.
Next day the duck walks in again sits down and asks the bartender...got any grapes?
Bartender says I told you yesterday we don't sell grapes now get out
Third day same thing duck says got any grapes?
Bartender just about loses it and screams no we don't and if I catch you in here asking again I am going to nail your bill to the bar.
Forth day duck walks in sits down and asks the bartender got any nails?
Bartender says no.
Duck says good got any grapes?
Bartender says can I help you?
Duck looks at him and says..Got any grapes?
Bartender says no we are a bar we don't sell grapes. get out.
The duck leaves.
Next day the duck walks in again sits down and asks the bartender...got any grapes?
Bartender says I told you yesterday we don't sell grapes now get out
Third day same thing duck says got any grapes?
Bartender just about loses it and screams no we don't and if I catch you in here asking again I am going to nail your bill to the bar.
Forth day duck walks in sits down and asks the bartender got any nails?
Bartender says no.
Duck says good got any grapes?
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We were having a discussion at work the other day regarding name origins.
For example...is someone had been a blacksmith, their family name might have evolved to be Smith. If someone was the baker, his last name might have become Baker.
So........
What did someone whose last name is Handcock do?
(we laughed hysterically for hours...)
For example...is someone had been a blacksmith, their family name might have evolved to be Smith. If someone was the baker, his last name might have become Baker.
So........
What did someone whose last name is Handcock do?
(we laughed hysterically for hours...)
Quite obviously, a handler of male chickens, what else 
A guy dressed in a very nice turtleneck and blazer walks into a fancy restaraunt and waits to be seated. The M'aitre d (sp?) approaches and sadly informs the patron to be that dining is allowed only for those gentlemen wearing ties.
Just then a guy wearing a rope around his neck brushes by. The M'aitre d says right this way sir and promptly seats the rope-necked diner.
This ticks the turtlenecked guy to no end and accosts the M'aitre d. "Hey!" Says he, "What about that guy?!?. He had a rope around his neck and you let him in!"
"My good sir" the M'aitre d replied, "as far as I'm concerned, that guy was wearing a necktie".
"Fine" retorts guy turtleneck, "I'll be right back". Off he goes to the parking lot, opens his trunk, pulls out a set of jumper cables and wraps them around his neck.
He boldly returns to the restaraunt and approches the M'atre d. "How's this?" he asks defiantly.
"Ok, you can sit down" says the jaded M'aitre d, "but don't you start anything!"
A guy dressed in a very nice turtleneck and blazer walks into a fancy restaraunt and waits to be seated. The M'aitre d (sp?) approaches and sadly informs the patron to be that dining is allowed only for those gentlemen wearing ties.
Just then a guy wearing a rope around his neck brushes by. The M'aitre d says right this way sir and promptly seats the rope-necked diner.
This ticks the turtlenecked guy to no end and accosts the M'aitre d. "Hey!" Says he, "What about that guy?!?. He had a rope around his neck and you let him in!"
"My good sir" the M'aitre d replied, "as far as I'm concerned, that guy was wearing a necktie".
"Fine" retorts guy turtleneck, "I'll be right back". Off he goes to the parking lot, opens his trunk, pulls out a set of jumper cables and wraps them around his neck.
He boldly returns to the restaraunt and approches the M'atre d. "How's this?" he asks defiantly.
"Ok, you can sit down" says the jaded M'aitre d, "but don't you start anything!"
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