i feel bad

If you want to get out of the hobby, just put up a Craigslist ad and sell your tank cheaply, someone will buy it from you and be happy they got a deal. Members on here would be glad to get your fish, I'm sure.

If something went wrong and you got discouraged I can understand, but if you just lost interest then...probably best to cut your losses. No one is too busy to feed their fish, it doesn't take any time at all - "too busy" is no excuse. If you don't want to see the tank and/or fish anymore, then pass it along to someone who does. The tank is making you feel bad, your fish feel bad for being neglected - sounds to me like it's just time to break the cycle.
 
I'm usually first in line to yell at people when they don't take care of their animals, but this actually doesn't sound all that bad and I'm sure the OP is going to rectify the situation. We don't know what the other circumstances were. The OP didn't say anything about being "too busy" or wanting to get out of the hobby. Personally, I went through a rough patch recently and my tank maintenance was pretty similar. All my critters made it through just fine, the need to care for them helped me get back to normal, and I'm fully back into the hobby now and enjoying it a great deal. All I'm saying is maybe we should withhold judgment until we know the whole story. The OP cares enough to make a confession to the AC community and is already beating him/herself up over it, so I don't think additional beating from us will help.

jpappy789 said:
Yes, it's lazy, but the fish aren't going to die because the light hasn't been turned on for a month...and two weeks without food is not even a problem. Even a monthly change is probably not a big deal when you consider there isn't much waste being produced.
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:iagree:

Chrisinator said:
If you're extremely busy, I'd get some sort of automatic feeder so that fish won't suffer and maybe a timer.
Click to expand...

IMHO, automating the feeding without automating the water changes (as a long-term plan) is a recipe for disaster.
 
I know they didn't say they were too busy, I was just responding to the comment above mine about being extremely busy. I agree that getting a fish feeder to automate the main source of interaction between fish and fish keeper seems like not the greatest idea, especially with no water changes and the prepared food (pellets or flake) being more polluting than say, some dark lettuce to nibble on. Seeing the fish's water, that it's not looking sparkly clear, makes me want to do water changes more than a date on the calendar does.

This is one tank we are talking about, not like this person is overwhelmed by MTS that got out of hand. At least the other tank is a planted tank, so there will likely be some forage in there for the few fish in it.

A 55 gallon tank full of these beautiful, expensive species is a shame to let go. None of these are ordinary pet store fish. This person obviously went to some trouble and expense to set up such a tank, so my feeling is why let it all the way crash? Sell it and then when there is more time, interest, whatever is lacking, start back up. If the fish die or get sick, you're going to feel worse.

My apologies for assuming that this was just lost interest and not some other kind of trouble. I just figured if they were sick, depressed, or going through an emergency that that would have been said right from the start so as to avoid the onslaught of negative comments that were certain to follow when you post on a fish forum that you're neglecting your fish, borderline to the point of abuse. I'm sure if they had posted this in a forum about depression the comments would not have been negative, but supportive instead.

Starvation is a very painful death for fish, and cichlids are prone to HTH from poor water quality. So basically I'm saying - get back on it or get out! I'm sorry for whatever else is going on in your life, but surely you can ask someone or pay someone to take care of your fish for you if you can't.
 
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Platytudes - I wasn't arguing with what you said---I'm sorry if it sounded that way! The OP should definitely get back into a more reasonable maintenance schedule or rehome the fish. I was just suggesting that purely angry responses (which yours was not) are unhelpful in situations like this. Just as the OP's first concern should be the welfare of the animals, so should ours. Your suggestion was a good one.
 
Sorry, I thought about putting some smileys or something to lighten up the tone but it didn't seem right, what with the slightly grim topic and all ;) No, I didn't think you were arguing with me! I agree that we shouldn't just trash the OP either and call names. And really, ignoring a tank for a while does not make you a horrible person, or even a bad person, but you do have to do something - and if there's a chance you're going to fix it up now only to neglect again it later, then I'd say put it on the shelf for a while and resume when/if you can/want to.
 
wow this is blowing out of porportion, i love my fish, i have always done my weekly wc of 25% feed daily and turned lights on, i ended up breaking my hand and was off work for a month and it messed up my whole sceg and was not able to do what i needed, i felt bad and i will regret it, i did lose one fish, my goby, all are doing well and i will do another change tomarow to clean some more, i hope this never happens again.
im sure all of you have once messed up with a tank, and regret it, but i dont diserve to be yelled at because i made a mistake
 
Fishfiles, maybe letting us know in your opening post why the tank was not receiving the care it should have been would have saved you the backlash?

i myself have been known to skip a water change here or there and i don't enjoy my fish to the utmost every single minute of every single day, but if i was required to 'ignore' a tank for some time (due to injury or whatever), i'd make arrangements so that my fish didn't suffer due to my inability to care for them during that time. heck, when i was away for three whole days this past christmas i had my dad come feed the fish every day, check in on them, and call and report to me when he was at my house, regardless of problems or not.
 
not the best care but ive heard worse!!!!
 
Hmm, why wouldn't you have said that in the beginning? Seems logical to me. I wouldn't expect anything but criticism if I admitted to neglecting my fish for a month and said nothing more about it.

When you do wrong things in a forum about caring for fish, people will be critical about it - but it's not like they're heartless or without sympathy. If I'm 12 years old (with no money to buy another tank) and say I have two goldfish in a 10 gallon tank, I doubt I would get the criticism of just saying "I have 2 goldfish in a 10 gallon tank".

So while I can't see how breaking a hand and staying home from work for a month would mean I can't spend 5 minutes a day with my fish, I'm still sorry you broke your hand, hope you feel better and can take care of your fish again. Next time something like this happens (bad stuff always happens now and then) see if you can get a friend to help you out.
 
The broken hand makes sense. I had the same feeling as Platytudes even though I didn't post. I saw the tank last and it sounds like a beautiful lake Tang. tank. I have a 55 that I can't setup right now that is planned for a setup just like that. Upset me to think someone out there can have exactly what I want and could care less about it. Then when he posted that he had a broken hand I could understand the situation.
 
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