Hello All and let me introduce myself.
My name is El Wad.
I tend bar, lay hands and save souls. I was born a poor black child, and was swept away by the holy spirit @ the tender age of 9. After what many would call a long career in snake handling and revivalism, I was soured on the spirit by an unfortunate elephant accident and set out on a new path at the age of 14.
My journeys led me to the Dark Continent, Africa...
I worked for a time with the noble Pacanutha tribe as a guide for the white devils. This left me dissatisfied, as the foreign hunters were living a far superior lifestyle than my own. I must admit for a time I fell under the spell of greed that they were so ready to instill in a young, quick mind such as my own....
I trained myself a zebra and rode off into the deep African night on my way to my new career as a diamond smuggler. I didn't make it more than a 2 night ride before I was set upon by child bandits armed to the teeth and ready for blood. Thru the Good Lords' providence and protection I had previous experience in the art of moving a crowd and soon had assumed leadership of this small band of pre-pubescent killers.
What was a frustrated teenage ex-patriot to do? That's right folks....I trained em how to speed skate. AND SPEED-SKATE THEY DID...right into the 1984 olympics here in Los Angeles. They got the Bronze, and I got to thinkin...
Maybe it was time to come back to the good ol' U S Of A.
At the age of 21 I promptly flew back to my home in the jungles of Botswana, burned my crops, sold my wives, and sent my children into the army in preparation for my return home. After I shipping my various apes and other household help to my Post Office box here in the states, and a brief adventure as a Cambodian River Pirate, I began to settle into the comfortable life I so glamorously live today...
tending bar and watching my fish.:headshake2:
My name is El Wad.
I tend bar, lay hands and save souls. I was born a poor black child, and was swept away by the holy spirit @ the tender age of 9. After what many would call a long career in snake handling and revivalism, I was soured on the spirit by an unfortunate elephant accident and set out on a new path at the age of 14.
My journeys led me to the Dark Continent, Africa...
I worked for a time with the noble Pacanutha tribe as a guide for the white devils. This left me dissatisfied, as the foreign hunters were living a far superior lifestyle than my own. I must admit for a time I fell under the spell of greed that they were so ready to instill in a young, quick mind such as my own....
I trained myself a zebra and rode off into the deep African night on my way to my new career as a diamond smuggler. I didn't make it more than a 2 night ride before I was set upon by child bandits armed to the teeth and ready for blood. Thru the Good Lords' providence and protection I had previous experience in the art of moving a crowd and soon had assumed leadership of this small band of pre-pubescent killers.
What was a frustrated teenage ex-patriot to do? That's right folks....I trained em how to speed skate. AND SPEED-SKATE THEY DID...right into the 1984 olympics here in Los Angeles. They got the Bronze, and I got to thinkin...
Maybe it was time to come back to the good ol' U S Of A.
At the age of 21 I promptly flew back to my home in the jungles of Botswana, burned my crops, sold my wives, and sent my children into the army in preparation for my return home. After I shipping my various apes and other household help to my Post Office box here in the states, and a brief adventure as a Cambodian River Pirate, I began to settle into the comfortable life I so glamorously live today...
tending bar and watching my fish.:headshake2:
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