>
>
>Number One Idiot of 2003
>
>I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
> she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
> that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
> daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
> poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she'd better
> bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
>
>Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Two Idiot of 2003
>
>Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
>a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
> out of the plane and home.. Shortly after they took it for a float on
> the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
> It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
> beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
> employed at Boeing.
>
>Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Three Idiot of 2003
>
>A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
> Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
> Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
> give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
> him write the note and might call the police before he reached the
> teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
> to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note
>to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
>errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
> she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank
> of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
> Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
>somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
> minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
>
>Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Four Idiot of 2003
>
>A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
> all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in
>a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
> counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
>but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over
> 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
> him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
> driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The
> clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he
>put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
> loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
> address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
> robber two hours later.
>
>This guy definitely needs a sign! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Idiot Number Five of 2003
>
>A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
> moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
>
>This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Six of 2003
>
>Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
> just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
> head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be
> thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
> window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Eight of 2003
>
>Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun
>and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
>couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
> ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
>breakfast.
>
>The man, frustrated, walked away. Give him a sign.
>*****************************
>
>Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote (and
> breed).
>
>Number One Idiot of 2003
>
>I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
> she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
> that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
> daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
> poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she'd better
> bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
>
>Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Two Idiot of 2003
>
>Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
>a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
> out of the plane and home.. Shortly after they took it for a float on
> the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
> It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
> beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
> employed at Boeing.
>
>Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Three Idiot of 2003
>
>A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
> Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
> Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
> give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
> him write the note and might call the police before he reached the
> teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
> to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note
>to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
>errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
> she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank
> of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
> Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
>somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
> minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
>
>Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Four Idiot of 2003
>
>A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
> all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in
>a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
> counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
>but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over
> 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
> him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
> driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The
> clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he
>put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
> loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
> address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
> robber two hours later.
>
>This guy definitely needs a sign! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Idiot Number Five of 2003
>
>A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
> moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
>
>This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Six of 2003
>
>Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
> just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
> head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be
> thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
> window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Eight of 2003
>
>Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun
>and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
>couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
> ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
>breakfast.
>
>The man, frustrated, walked away. Give him a sign.
>*****************************
>
>Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote (and
> breed).
