Joke

AgnesJG

AC Members
Apr 24, 2006
15
0
0
42
Edmonton, AB
A friend sent me this, I just had to share :laugh:

Letter from a store to a customer:

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate
this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from
shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our
video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending
counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints
against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.

15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming
the"MissionImpossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"

(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here"

:laugh:
 
That was funny!...


________________
 
Last edited:
Ya gotta hand it to the "husband"--he's entertaining himself in a very creative way. Aside from being obnoxious as anything for the employees, those are some pretty funny antics. Guess after all these years I'm still not a grown-up in some ways!! :clap:
 
Hey, wait....you mean there isn't supposed to be any TP in the fitting rooms?

v/r, N-A
 
Hey Someone Stole My Husband And I Want Him Back D*#nit!

No seriously, that sounds like my Hubby! That man keeps me on my toes and completely entertained. I am going to end up having an asthma attack from laughing so hard. His current favorite is to wear his torn jeans and a ripped flannel and sit on the benches at the mall in the next town (when we go) and just stare at people. He calls it people watching. Last time something watched me like that, it was a cougar on the back road.
 
Last edited:
A few months ago, I was with a freidn in a department store and started doing things like that.

We left when a security officer started giving us the stinky eye when we were passing a football in the middle of the hall.
 
A buddy and I got kicked out of Staples for having office chair races through the aisles.. We were doing fine till I was about to pass him and he ran me off the road and into their stack-o-floppy disk display thing and he yelled "Clean up, aisle 4!"

Bastage..

We then went and raced at Office Max, much nicer track and less hazards (customers)..
 
Its fun to be stupid and immature!!
 
Thongs in the old lady's cart also works well.

If you want to tick off your wife as someone to page her. I ran out of patience once and a clerk kindly obliged by paging " Mrs. ......, your husband is waiting patiently in electronics."
 
Corax said:
A buddy and I got kicked out of Staples for having office chair races through the aisles.. We were doing fine till I was about to pass him and he ran me off the road and into their stack-o-floppy disk display thing and he yelled "Clean up, aisle 4!"

Bastage..

We then went and raced at Office Max, much nicer track and less hazards (customers)..

That is hilarious--always wanted to do that, but seems I'm always there by myself.

p/s nice to see another fan of Johnny Dangerously!!! Ice holes! :D
 
AquariaCentral.com