kids!!!

Originally posted by Traci


you cannot expect (as jb_lyndon would) to have a conversation with a 3 year old about the cycling process, the effects of introducing foreign items into that process, the amount of work required to set up a 150, how their actions stalled the process, wasting 150 g of water, etc. etc. at length, as jb_lyndon suggested. That's ridiculous.

And I still don't think it's anyone's place to tell the man how to discipline his children, particularly not in the manner in which jb_lyndon did.
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Sorry guys but I have to defend myself just a little here.

First Off I have to apologize to mattj, if I've offended you in any way... I wasn't directly calling you a "bad parent" just using an old cliche to suggest that it's possible that kids may be inately good. I know you didn't ask for parenting advice but after reading some of the replies I was diverted to a parenting focus.

So to Tracy I Repeat: "if you sit down and actually talk (and I mean calmly discuss, NOT lecture) to a 3 year old, you may be suprised how much he/she will understand and retain. Instilling respect in a child fundamentaly requires YOU to show respect to the child."

WHere here, Traci, did you get the idea that I suggested conducting a highschool biology lecture??


"And by no means am I suggesting that some good harsh punishment is inappropriate, it is absolutely necessary."

I may have been a little unclear here but the term that I used... "good harsh punishment", is completely subjective and here left fully up to the discretion of the parent... All I was suggesting is that Yes punishment is necessary and should probably rate at the high end of the parents scale of discipline. Obviously though Traci, you jumped to the worst possible conclusion and expect that I'd beat the little guys with my gravel cleaner or something?!?!? Where I come from harsh punishment can be as little as raising your voice with just enough authority to impact your kids and let them know that you are indeed SERIOUS (excuse the caps, I'm not suggesting yelling as Traci might deduce) and make them sit in a chair for 5 minutes. Uh Oh... Traci might be right... maybe I am EVIL... fear the wrath of the horrendous Chair-Sitter ;)

And yes Traci I would "purposely make them feel bad", unless of course mattj wants them to do it again or wants them to think it's all just a funny prank. Note that he mentioned that this has happend before so I'm sure that the kids understood that what they were doing wasn't very nice. IMO any child who behaves disrespectfully (to this extreme) should unquestionably be made to feel remorse for what they've done. Followed of course by a good calm and loving talk about the "bad feelings" experienced on both sides.

Sorry Traci but I didn't quite appreciate your interpretation of my post and your indirect attack at me.

Ok back to fish!
 
This is pointless. You have a parenting style, I have a parenting style, matt has a parenting style.

To me, harsh = painful, physical punishment. To me, a the idea of getting a 3 year old to sit still in one place long enough to have any kind of meaningful form of respectful "talk" is laughable, and is about as likely as getting them to understand high school biology. To me 5 minutes of time out is appropriate for a 5 or 6 year old, and loses all impact for a 3 year old. To my children, raising my voice is a sign of anger, not a sign of seriousness. And to me, punishing my children the day after an infraction of this nature is punshing with anger, not with love, and certainly not with respect.

Obviously your definitions and experiences differ from mine.
 
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