Monogamy?

[Riso-chan]

Recently, well actually for a few years now, I've really come to question myself about the changing states of human relationships in society. I'm young, 20yrs, and I clearly understand biological function. Many animals, most prevalently birds, use monogamy in order to better the chances of their offsprings' survival. But in our world, things are so different. Some of these traditions seem to be fading, at least to some degree. Even though there are millions of things that can change quickly in our world, there are some things that I hold dear that I do not want to fade. Maybe it's becuase I'm a woman and biologically driven toward these tendencies to be with one person the rest of my life. It just seems less complicated. Logically speaking, you wouldn't have to worry as much about stds, or be uncomfortably nervous by a new partner every night. There are many other things I can add to that list. My main concern is that by the time I start seeking a significant other, no one will want to be with just one person. Forgive me if I'm old fashioned, but the thought of some one who's with me and then several other people makes me feel very un-geniune, as if I'm just a piece of the pie. Is it really so much to ask to be faitful? Even though I don't plan on having kids in my life, I still would like that biological behavior that bonds two people. I don't want to be hard to please by any means, I just want someone that can make me happy and that I can do the same for. Sharing a life with one other person doesn't seem so bad to me. Afterall, if you shared yourself with many people it just seems it would complicate things needlessly, even if it was just physical. Please share your opinions, and let me know I'm not the only one out there that feels this way!

 

[pl*co]

There are plenty of other folks that feel the same way as you do, so don't worry. As you said, you're young. Lots of time. In the meantime, relax, work towards or accomplish something that is important to you and enjoy yourself.

 

[Matak]

Nothing unnatural about the desire for a monogamous relationship. It is the design for our kind.

 

[Shaz]

Its fine to want what you want. I am 24 years old and have been with my man for jsut over four years now and we are planning a lone and happy life together. Some people like chioce and different partners but some (like me) love being with the same person all the time. There is nothing wrong with either, it just depends on the person!! I hope that you do find what you are looking for!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[aquariumfishguy]

I'm not someone who feels it is my position to say whether we naturally should be monogamous or not. To me, that is like trying to explain why the color black is called "black", or why we have 5 toes on each foot and not 3.


... With that said, I'm not against those who are monogamous, nor am I against those who are not monogamous.

 

[Riso-chan]

Riso's reply

What AquariumFishGuy said is true I suppose. Delving into the subject of why something is the way it is can be confusing, but it it seems that as humans we have curiousity in wanting to understand. It does go back to the fact that everyone is an individual, and trying to dicipher why could bring you to the answer that it is the same pattern that nature itself follows; randomness. I have no arguments with people who decide to have non-monogamous relationships, but I would get very worried for myself if it became the norm for just about everyone. I know people of every kind are going to do what they want, I have now issue with that, but if it was somehow widespread I would. It's similar argument with some religions, as they were pushed onto many people in the past. I do think non-monogamous relationous situations could turn out positively though, but it would take a certain kind of people to make it work. I've heard of jealously often arising in these arrangments, and I think we've probably all heard it happens when a couple decides to have a threesome. It's really amazing to me how complex human behavior can become. On one hand, we'll do something we like with one person, On the other, as result of wanting more than what we have, we end up sabotaging it.

 

[Harlock]

Nothing unnatural about the desire for a monogamous relationship. It is the design for our kind.

Ah, Matak, I do so agree with you on that. Rest assured, Riso, when you do so choose to take a mate, there will be someone who will feel the same way. Monogamy is not dying out. In fact, I really feel it is on the rise and more and more people are choosing and recognizing, as Matak put it, "the design for our kind."

 

[StreetCypher]

I'm not someone who feels it is my position to say whether we naturally should be monogamous or not. To me, that is like trying to explain why the color black is called "black", or why we have 5 toes on each foot and not 3. ... With that said, I'm not against those who are monogamous, nor am I against those who are not monogamous.

Yup i agree.
Monogamy is practiced by a lot of people, but polygamy is the norm in a lot of places, more so in the past, but still today.

 

[beviking]

Here I open myself to bashing. First, I am a monogamous guy have been married for 6+ years and even while dating, was always faithful. It's what I chose/choose to be. That said, I believe (and this is MY opinion) that we (males) are NOT monogamous by nature, only through civility/social dictation. I associate us with gorillas having a dominant male, many subordinate males, females, blah blah, you know the arrangement. Again, I think this is the way nature intended.
Like everything else, people are different, have different beliefs. There are still plenty of others that want monogamous relationships, to that, you don't have to worry. I think given the day and age, there are less of those people that have not "saved themselves" for the one special person, but there are still those out there that have too.
Of course, in any relationship, the persons involved change and may not change the way you want them to.
As for being ungenuine if your partner has "been with" someone else, I personally would have issues with my partner "wondering what it would be like being with someone else" if she had not been with someone else. My wife and I both dated other ppl before meeting and getting married and my love for her is genuine and I believe hers for me is also.
I also think polygamy has it's benefits...like women prefer to talk more so the two women could talk and the man could get something done!!! :dance Let the bashing begin!!!
btw "get something done" was reference to any number of projects that are involved with owning a home/vehicle/yard/hobby!

 

[Timmain42]

Here I open myself to bashing.

Well, they're going to have to beat on both of us then. I feel much the way you do, being monogamous myself; but as a gender, human men are not wired that way.

So here, lemme lend a shoulder to split the bashing with ya...

<gamgee>
"Share the looooooad..."
</gamgee>