No wonder men never get it

greeneyedlady

greeneyedlady

Duchess of Comedy
Jul 4, 2002
173
0
0
MD, USA
God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."
Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"
God said, "Go down into that valley"
Adam said, "What's a valley?"
God explained it to him.
Then God said, "Cross the river."
Adam said, "What's a river?"
God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill......"
Adam said, "What is a hill?"
So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave"
Adam said, "What's a cave?"
After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a Woman."
Adam said, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him, too.
Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."
Adam said, "How do I do that?"
God first said (under his breath), "Geez....."
And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.
So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill,
into the cave, and finds the woman. Then, in about five minutes, he was
back.
God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"
And Adam said .........
*
*
*
*
*
*"What's a headache?"
 
Here's another one for you....

Adam was sitting in Garden of Eden, when he tells god that he is lonely.
God says "I've got the perfect companion...it will be perfect in every way....theres only one thing, its gonna cost you....an arm and a leg."
Adam thinks about that for a second "That's kinda pricey, what can I get for a rib?"

:D:D:D
 
I think I like the "Useless Boob" version of this tale. :)
 
Eve's side of the story ( You're all gonna love this one )
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how
is

everything going?" inquired God..



"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied.



"The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights,

everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.



It is these breasts you have given me.

The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking
them

with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.
They

are a real pain," reported Eve.



And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came


in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc..........she felt that
having

only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as
she

put it.



"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this,

you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
only

half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right
away."



And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the

bushes.



Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.


"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"


"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You

see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has
her

bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."



God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How

could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately

create a man from a part of you.. Now let's see............where did I
put

the useless boob?"



Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?
 
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