Post your Favorite Christmas or Holiday Story

catnipgal

Here Fishy Fishy
Jun 26, 2008
216
0
0
Chicago - Windy City, USA
This is my favorite!!

Christmas With Louise

As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pairof panty hose over hisfireplacebefore Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of a inflatable doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to a store downtown.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.

To call Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the heck is that?" she asked.

My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."

"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped.

I kept my mouth shut.

"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, to steer her into dining room.

It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on, Granny, hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"

I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screeched, I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination (autopsy?) to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.


I can't wait until next Christmas.

 
Stories anyone?
 
Well, they dont have to top it, any favorite story will do.

You would think this was a thread for favorite fruit cake recipe. lol
 
The Gift of the Magi

Once there was a woman who was looking for a christmas present for her husband. She arrived at a jewelry store and saw a gold watch that would match her husband's gold chain necklace with his initials. she asked the shopkeeper the price for the watch and the shopkeeper said,"Twenty-one dollars." The woman was shocked. Twenty-one dollars?! She hadn't even 50 cents in her purse. She solemnly walked out the store. She then found a shop that buys hair. She walked in and took off her hat, revealing her long soft blonde hair. "How much would you buy for my hair?" she asked the shopkeeper. The lady inspected the hair and said, "Twenty-six dollars. But since it's Christmas Eve, I'll still leave hair up to the middle of your neck." The woman sighed. "Ok." The shopkeeper took out her scissors and snipped away. Then the woman walked out of the store with short hair and twenty-six dollars. She went back to the jelwery store and bought the watch. When she got home she swiftly, but neatly wrapped the gift. When her husband got home, he came with a gift for her. A silver comb. he had given away his necklace for the comb. The woman gave away her fine lomg hair for a watch. The woman started crying and told her husband the story. and her husband told her HIS story and at the end, they both laughed.

The couple gave their most treasured thing for a gift for each other.

The End
 
oww... now my hands are numb.
 
awesome story malorie!!
 
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