Well I have SMS in my 120g and it was a love hate relationship at the beginning. Love the color and gravel size, but keeping plants down was a PITA because the media is so light and it's a bit of a KH hog.
Once the SMS compacts it's great, pulling something makes it fluffy again but for a short period of time compacts much quicker IMO.
I'm also using 3M tahoe blue quartz in my 90g if you prefer a range of colors to choose from.
I second the problem with plants staying down due to lightness of the SMS. Also, I'm not wild about how muddy it gets after a couple years. The plants love it though.
Oil Dry and SMS are pretty much the same thing. Plenty of people have used both in aquariums. Size, shape, and weight of grain are pretty much identical.
I'd go with whatever color you like best and whichever is cheapest for you.
what i do is dig the whole for the plant.... put it in push the substrate around the plant while still holding it. press down to compact it around then put more substrate around it. this has worked well for me even when planting 30-40 plants at a time.
This is one of those times I wish I would have been on this website before I setup my tank. I spent way to much money on gravel that does nothing for my plants. If I would have known there was something that cheap that is good for your plants I would have bought it for sure.