I'm not familiar with your tanks/ setups. From a quick glance at your posts I gather you have a Convict? Or a Severum? In any case what you describe sounds to me like an established fish ( perhaps the only cichlid? ), and have introduced a new fish into it's territory. The old fish will normally try to remove the intruder even if it is a member of the same species and of the opposite sex. Since you have a female, if she were interested she may test the male anyway to ensure he's tough enough to mate with. This may involve gill flaring and jaw- locking.
The best way to attempt what you're attempting IMO would have been to set up a divider so the female gets a chance to get used to the male's presence and the male gets a chance to acclimate first and then establish himself. Less stress for both fish and especially the newcomer.
