Okay, here's mine. Age 46/gender female/race caucasian.
How does emotion effect your listening?
When I'm happy and relaxed, it's easier to give the speaker more attention and I'm more receptive to considering differing views or new ideas I didn't have before. If I'm sad, worried, stressed, or unhappy.. my focus will be on other things and I might miss out a lot on what's being said. Perhaps be more likely to misunderstand or misinterpret the message because I'm not paying as much attention... am less likely to pick up on non-verbal clues, hidden meanings, changes in tone, or facial expressions. The emotion displayed by the speaker also determines how well I'm able to or willing to listen to them.
How does your physical environment effect your listening?
It sets the atmosphere I'm in which can have a positive effect or negative one, depending on whether I like where I am or if something interferes.
Do you ever create bias between certain genders that effect your listening?
I had to think about that one. Do I? I hope not. It's hard to say because so much depends on the situation. In a work setting, men are often taken more seriously, behave with more authority, and are given more credibility than women. But what I've found over the years is this isn't really true or it's not a good basis to go by. Male or female.. some people are just flakes and you learn to tune them out as much as possible. A person who is down to earth, intelligent, interesting, knowledgeable is someone I'll listen to more often, regardless of which gender he or she is. Also... on both sides, people relate much better with others of the opposite sex. If I'm next in line at a bank and two teller windows open up at the same time - one male the other female - I'll head over to the male teller because I know I'll probably get better service. If I was a man, the same would be true of the female teller. That's just how people relate to each other, naturally, all other things being equal.
Does your culture affect the way you listen?
Yes, very much. This effects all of us whether we're aware of it or not. I was raised in an environment and in a family where I was allowed to think for myself and to develop a voice of my own. As a result, I'm more outgoing and comfortable with people so they, in turn, seem more comfortable expressing themselves with me. I think this helps me understand another person better -- with less interference and bias getting in the way -- and I get the message they're trying to convey. For that, I'm very lucky.. the same isn't true in many other societies where little girls are raised to remain silent or their viewpoints get disregarded. I was also raised in an area that was multi-racial... by an American father (Indiana) and a Scandanavian mother (Finland) who had both travelled a lot during their lives. So my exposure to different cultures has been broad. I appreciate where other people are coming from when they talk to me, so I.. naturally.. listen to others better because of that.
Have you shown any disinterested non-verbal facial expressions when listening?
Yes, we all do that. Sometimes without meaning to and sometimes on purpose if there's a reason to discourage the other person from talking. Example.. if it's a guy I know who wants to ask me out and I don't want him to. I'll be polite and distantly friendly, more formal.. but real casual about it and very disinterested in anything he talks about. I do let my disinterest show.. deliberately. Because it's easier than being asked out, turning him down, then having to deal with his reaction to that.
Does the age of the person you talk to effect you’re listening?
Yes. Young children and elderly people need the most focus we can give them and sometimes the most patience we can muster if we're busy or the hectic world is getting to us. In both cases, I have to stop, slow down, take a breath, shut out the rest of the world for a while, and really listen to them. Let them set the pace and timing instead of rushing them or cutting them off. Their world runs at a slower pace and I need to respect that or I'll miss out on what they have to say.
Young adults have big ideas, fresh viewpoints, tend to be more idealistic, and have more enthusiasm with comparatively less experience than older adults. They come up with new ideas all the time that I haven't thought of and it's interesting to hear what they say and how they express themselves. Being in my 40s, this challenges me. I like that and know I benefit from it, so I listen.. watch.. and enjoy it. Older adults are more settled, have broader experience that's usually vastly different than my own have been, and are usually more introspective. We tend to become more set in our ways as we get older. These are all considerations I take into account when they talk and it effects how well I listen.
When you talk to someone do they exhibit any disinterested expressions or behaviors?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It mostly depends on whether they like me or not, I suppose. Some people do, some people don't. That's how it is for everyone.
Which do you think effects listening the most Gender or Culture and why?
Culture. With gender, it depends more on the person and how well we relate as an individuals - good, bad, or indifferent. Cultural biases and prejudices are more externally imposed upon us which makes them harder to overcome.
During conversations what turns you off?
Rudeness, self absorption, narrow-mindedness, or an obvious lack of regard for other people.
Any misconceptions within listening?
Always. We all get too caught up in our own thoughts and self interests to pay enough attention to other people. It isn't always easy and we rarely do a good enough job of it.
These are great questions, Darryl. It was interesting to think about each one of them. Best of luck with your project! Let us know how it turns out later in the thread.
