stupid joke time!
- Thread starter Cheech
- Start date
Another traffic stop joke... (no I'm not a cop - but I have been pulled over a ton)
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, 100… Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought, and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”
The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer.
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, 100… Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought, and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”
The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer.
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting over lunch and the conversation turns to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men.. All three would wear a black leather bra and
thong, stiletto heels, and a mask over their eyes.
A few days later they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex for hours.
The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked
at me and said,
'What's for dinner, Batman?'
thong, stiletto heels, and a mask over their eyes.
A few days later they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex for hours.
The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked
at me and said,
'What's for dinner, Batman?'
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA :laugh:
ok ok ok ..... i got one ......
how many therapists dose it take to change a light bulb?????
:huh:
just one.......But the light bulb must want to change first ....
LMMFAO :nilly: ohhhhhh touch-down:nilly:
ok ok ok ..... i got one ......
how many therapists dose it take to change a light bulb?????
:huh:
just one.......But the light bulb must want to change first ....
LMMFAO :nilly: ohhhhhh touch-down:nilly:
The US Government announced today that in 2010 all retards will be shipped out of the country. Made my eyes tear up hearing that. Man, I sure am gonna miss you so wear your helmet and be sure to take your crayons!!!
P.S. You are not allowed to write on the seats of your short bus.
P.S. You are not allowed to write on the seats of your short bus.
Last edited:
