The daily joke thread

Larry was carrying two buckets of fish from the river when he was stopped by a game warden in the north woods.
"Do you have a license to catch those fish?" asked the warden.
"No, sir," Larry replied. "These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" asked the warden.
"Yes, sir," Larry said. "I take these fish down to the river and let them swim around awhile. When I whistle, they jump back in the buckets, and I take them home."
"That's a bunch of hooey!" the warden said. "Fish can't do that."
Larry stared at the warden for a moment and said, "Well, I guess I'll just have to show you. Follow me, and I'll demonstrate how it works."
The warden followed behind in disbelief and watched Larry pour the fish into the water. After several minutes, he said to Larry, "When are you going to call the fish back?"
"What fish?" Larry asked.
 
What do you call a skeleton in the closet ?

....................


Last year's hide and seek winner....
happy0195.gif






Two amature hunters go hunting in the woods....it isn't long before they get lost. The first hunter says,"It's okay...I heard that if you fire three shots in the air, someone will hear it and come rescue you,"

The hunters fire three shots up in the air, and wait around for a few hours. When no one comes, they fire 3 more shots. When still no one comes, they decide to fire three more shots.

"This had better work, "muttered the secound hunter, "These are our last three arrows,"
 
Last edited:
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal- Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on.

She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes."

She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."

She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"

He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."



_______
 
ok i need some participation lol

ok so there is this guy going to the beach and hes driving in his car, and this cookie is dancing on the hood of his car, and he tells it that if it doesnt get off, he's going to throw it in the ocean
so the cookie ignores him, and keeps dancing on the hood of his car, and he tell it again, "im going to throw you in the ocean if you dont stop dancing on my car"
again the cookie ignores him, and then he warns it one last time, and then throws it in the ocean after he almost crashes

a week later, he is in a boat, with his girlfriend, and he is getting ready to propse to her to marry him, but he slips and the ring falls into the ocean

a year passes and they are at their wedding and they are citting into a lobster. what fell out of the lobster??
 
Last edited:
what fish is the most valuable?
a goldfish.

sorry that was dumb dumb dumb hahaha ;)
 
ok ive got a blonde joke (i hope noone is offended its just for fun, i have blonde hair lol)

why did the blonde sell her car?

for gas money!

she thought General Motors ran the army

the blonde studied for a blood test

she was looking at the orange juice container for 20 minutes because it said "Concentrate"

When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.


LMAO!!!!!
 
jm1212 said:
ok ive got a blonde joke (i hope noone is offended its just for fun, i have blonde hair lol)

why did the blonde sell her car?

for gas money!

she thought General Motors ran the army

the blonde studied for a blood test

she was looking at the orange juice container for 20 minutes because it said "Concentrate"

When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.


LMAO!!!!!
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :laugh: :laugh:
 
jm1212 said:
ok ive got a blonde joke (i hope noone is offended its just for fun, i have blonde hair lol)

why did the blonde sell her car?

for gas money!

she thought General Motors ran the army

the blonde studied for a blood test

she was looking at the orange juice container for 20 minutes because it said "Concentrate"

When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.


LMAO!!!!!
Click to expand...
so sad. i feel bad for blondes! lol. i have tons of blonde friends, but not all of them are that stupid! hahaha maybe a little dense though. me, personally, i am a brunette so i dont really care!! ;)
 
Speakin' of tests....

Used to have "random" drug urine tests when I was in the Service; never would let me study for them...

Had one when I got to Boot Camp (first thing after we got off the bus); they called me back 2 days later-too much alcohol to test for drugs....

Had a good send off the night before....
 
aardvark1 said:
Speakin' of tests....

Had one when I got to Boot Camp (first thing after we got off the bus); they called me back 2 days later-too much alcohol to test for drugs....

Had a good send off the night before....
Click to expand...
That is truly outstanding.

Halloween, little kid with big ears dressed up as a pirate, and he has a speech impediment:

"So, little boy, what are you dressed up as tonight?"
"I'm a Pie-witt." (sounding irritated at being asked this all night).
"Really? Then where are your buccaneers?"
"(grabbing his ears and dropping his candy..) Lady, THESE are by 'bucking ears!"

v/r, N-A
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
AquariaCentral.com
Top Bottom