Question: So if I take water (unsoftened, straight from the well) and add something like "AquaSafe" to remove chlorine, cloramine & heavy metals that water would be better for my fish than the "softened" water?
Yep, As RTR said, the water is lower solids before softening than after. additionally, IMHO calcium and magnesium are far more desireable in my tank than sodium.
This is where the entire PH myth falls apart in this hobby. I can take RO water adjust it to a ph of 8.4 with baking soda, and have lower TDS water than a lot of folks with 6.6 ph. So if I had Blackwater fish they would probably be happier in my 8.4 ph than in many tanks with 6.6 ph. Dissolved solids are the key for fish. PH can and usually does indicate this to an extent, but is far from dependable as a stand alone test.
The perfect example is my tap water here in columbus. It is low Calcium low magnesium, low in all metals, has a Kh of 2-3dKH and a PH of 7.6-7.8 once it equalizes. It really is ideal for Blackwater fish because there is next to nothing in my water but the PH will still read 7.6-7.8 It is useless for plants,snails and shrimp as it comes from the tap. It is prone to Ph crashes if I don't add anything to counteract KH consumption and all in all I can't wait to move somewhere with well water.
Someone will flame me for that last sentence I'm sure (he has the best drinking water available and is Bi#$%ing about it because his snails won't grow)
The bigger issue still remains that fish will acclimate to most water, and assuming good maintenance they will live happily for a long period in far from natural conditions. But if your pre-softener water comes closer to natural conditins than post softener water then using it is a plus.
I personally would get a copy of your water analysis to find out what heavy metals you actually have. chances are you don't have hazardous levels, and as RTR said well water will not have chlorine or chloramines (unless of course you are adding them)
Dave