I read through the first couple of post you made Echo...didn't read the rest here so I hope I'm not repeating something someone already said, but............
When making suggestions to folks regarding aquariums...I like to tread in lightly at first by making nice comments like "Wow...cool tank ! Is this your first ?" If they say "yes" I'd say something like...."Yeah, I have a gazzillion tanks at home (20
) I have this book that got me started out right, has lots of information on keeping tanks...I'll loan it to you ! (big smile here, then walk away...don't give them the chance to say nothanks...lol....) When you give them the book, leave it on thier desk with a note directing them to THIS forum as well for more info.
Also, some of your old fish magazines.....like a cataloge from Foster Smith..which also has handy articles with good info on cycling and such mixed in with all the pretty pics of fish and equiptment....books with LOTS of pretty pics of fish are important in keeping the attention of the newbie..because reading lots of info on cycling and filters and lighting and such will quickly bore the average "just getting started" individual unless there are pretty pics to go along with the info....lol. Something to encourage them to want to know more.
IMO....starting out with an "I know better than you" attitude with such folks..(not saying here that you did, but some of us enthusiasts do develope an 'attitude' sometimes..lol....).. generally turns them off right away and they won't listen to anything you have to say. The tank cycling is probably what killed off her fish to begin with. I know informed aquariusts who don't dechlorinate thier tapwater when adding for evaporation....if it's only a small amount of tap the chlorinie gets diluted to a harmless amount....but not sure how that works for 10gallons since I always dechlorinate my water.
Until her tank cycles she'll probably keep killing fish. ONce it cycles she'll have better luck, even if she puts inappropriate fish in it. I see tanks at the school I work in with all sorts of "not a good idea of stocking" that the fish seem to do just fine in. (EX....a 10 with one angelfish, two large albino cories, one black neon, one glowlight tetra, a zillion snails, fake plants...UGLY neon pink/blue etc. gravel and water additions for evaporation maybe twice a year if lucky...very slowly trickling filter) Yet....these fish look healthy, eat well and have no problems..(well, none that you can SEE...lol)...even the angel, surprisingly enough..which is getting bigger very slowly probably due to the size of the tank...my 2 that I have in a 29 have grown much faster. She's had these fish in this tank for over two years that I know of.
Anyway, long story short......pay attention to delivery when trying to make suggestions to folks about thier tanks.......if you really want to help them with it. You may have opened up in the nicest way and still she's not listening, in that case......just letting a person know in some "on the sly" way that you keep tanks and waiting for them to ask you for help is about all you can do sometimes.....as hard as it can be to see the disasters happen one after another. I think, all in all that's probably the best way........making sure folks know that you keep tanks and waiting for them to ask for suggestions probably works about the best......if you can stand it....lol.
