Would you stop being friends with someone...

im not sure the ranges of age this applies to, but im 22 and graduated in 05. I felt i was in the same situation in high school, so i befriended pretty much my whole graduating class by graduation time. my .02 is to not stop caring and being a good friend, but it does get to a point where you're over exerting yourself and they have to help themselves. find more friends that have similar moral and social habits. youth group at a church can be a good outlet. surround yourself with people that have traits and hobbies you like.

personally i spent most of my social life with my girlfriend during high school, and if i went to any parties, we went together. then i joined the army after graduating and my wife travels with me everywhere i go. i teach, train and mentor my soldiers to stay away from the problem soldiers, and instill good values in them. but as for friends back home, they havnt changed much. the pot heads are working dead end jobs/ moved onto coke. but im happy to say that the majority of my friends from school, despite their social habits have somehow graduated from college and trying to find themselves a good job to pay off their debt. some people will never change, and there isnt much you can do about it. what you did in school really wont matter after graduating. but as long as you have a few good friends you can always lean on, everything will work out in the end. some of those friends might not be who you expect them to be after a few years. dont forget, college is another 4 years of meeting strangers and getting ready for life. time to get off my soap box
 
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oh yea, iv also seen my fair share of psych docs and been through the medicated route. hated it, save one of my counselors. being drug free (script and recreational) was just how i wanted to be. maybe not all people, but i feel some people (like me) can grow out of it. i also do not have a medical degree, so its best to leave it with the professionals
 
I've been through this situation many times already. Needless to say, I don't talk to many of my high school friends because of it. Close to 15 of my hometown friends are dead because of drug and alcohol abuse, or murders. Typically, if any of my friends are under the influence around me, I put them through hell and make sure they never do the stuff again. A few of them have thanked me, the others went on to something worse.
 
The use of drugs is actually a very selfish action. It shows a great self-centered ego of a person. It is hard to fathom that people would deliberately choose this type of life and I have to agree that most start out with a party try-out or similar where "no fault/no foul" lives.

It is all about the user and what wrongs were done to them, how nobody had time for them, how they were abused, or how they were neglected, yada, yada, yada. The problem is that our society, educational/emotional professions, etc. do not teach how to live on IN SPITE OF a traumatic event. They coddle the abuser and make the victim a victim by calling them by such labels and making testimony appear to make them a liar.

The first thing I do is to stop someone from calling me a victim. I am not a "victim", now or ever. I am a "SURVIVOR". I do well considering my limitations and I don't accept "you can't". People that resort to drug use to help deal with their pains have a long way to go and then perhaps they can give them up. It is not the person or the habit that would make me drop them as a friend, it is the baggage that goes with it, like jail and the violence. Life is far too precious (at least to me) to not enjoy. After all, it's a deliberate choice. (At least IMO it is. - oh yeah - BTW, been there, done that)
 
I stopped being friends with someone once because she had serious drug issues. A few years went by, and I heard through the grape vine that she was doing a lot better. I made a mental note to get back in touch with her, but not a few weeks later, we found out that she had passed away. Afterwards, I realized how selfish I had been in choosing not to try and do something about it and just divorce myself from the situation, but all the regret in the world won't change the past. Guess it all depends on how much you care about the person, and how much out of your own way you're willing to go to do something about their situation. One can only do so much, but to just pick up and leave because of something like that is a serious cop-out imo. Trust me, I made that decision once, and don't think I'll ever get over it.
 
I had a similar situation Liz. I had a very close ex that started experimenting into heavy drugs. He knew beforehand how I would react. He told me one day, and I simply asked him to stop for the sake of our friendship. He refused, and I cut myself off from him for over a year, now, 2 years later we are back to being great friends again. He actually thanked me recently for cutting him off. The few days he was sober, he came to his senses and realized that his drug habit wasn't worth losing the friendship we had worked for over 3 years on.
It is really a personal choice IMO. It may be hard, and you may regret it later, but the choice is entirely up to you :)
 
Liz said:
if they got into heavy drugs? This is a problem I am having with some of my friends. I am not into drugs at all, although I used to be (just marijuana etc) and they caused permanent psychological problems for me so I have a hard time not taking this personally.
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You will slowly drift apart. They will continue to drift down into the ugly life addiction brings.
 
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