To answer some of the questions...
First about the color of LEDs. Everything I have read about Cree LEDs, especially when it comes to Royal Blue and Regular blue, is the nm wavelength of the LEDs change quite a bit just between production runs. The first Royal Blues were actually 440nm, the ones I can buy today are 460nm according to Rapidled. So that was were my wavelengths were quoted from.
As far as "why buy a kit".. your nailed it exactly, cost savings. A kit is just drivers + LEDs + misc parts like wire, heatsink compound and glue. Nothing special about kits other than if you buy a kit you save a little $ vs buying all the parts separate. With the kits you can still choose which LEDs you want. You don't have to get the standard Cool White/Royal Blue that is listed in the kits.
As far as the RGB lights, the problem with those is you can not control independent colors on the star. On the strip type low light LED like the video you posted it has a controller with it to do what the video shows, but on a star setup that can't be done the same way. You can only dim all the colors at once. I want to be able to turn whites up and down by themselves, as well as blues. The reds and greens will be together but I think both of those colors will be powered very low, just enough to put the colors that are missing back into the tank. I think I will probably run the greens/reds at 30% power at most.
Always open and appreciative for any suggestions though. I am a n00b myself in this arena so any and all input/question no matter how silly it may seem is very welcome here. I personally don't know how the different "Royal Blue vs regular blue" would look so that suggestion of 4:1 helps me out. I may end up going with 8 Royals and 4 regular blues then (I think I need at least 4 of any type of bulb to be able to spread and blend the colors throughout the entire tank).