Ok! Finally fully cycled. Ammonia 0, Nitrites 0, Nitrates 20. Turns out I didn't have perfect water. The bacteria must have died on the way to my house (thanks even still dirtydawg, it was real cool of you to try and help). The seeds from my LFS didn't work either. I am guessing I was killing the bacteria during water changes... (probably not though, seeing as it is probably ok to add tap water then prime after a full bacteria cycle is established. it probably is not wise if you are trying to grow your bacterial colony).
Now for how I did it finally. I decided to straight up stop doing water changes/tests on my tanks. I lost one two fish - one per tank. One and a half weeks into my lack of efforts, i noticed only 3 pandas in my 20 gal. Further inspection - body in the bushes. I decided now would be a good time to test, showing 0 ammonia and my nitrites were a deep purple... can't recall the numeral reading. I tell you aside from the loss, finally seeing nitrite action was great. about 4 days later, a cory in my 46g was discovered stuck against my filter's intake. after disposing of the expired fish i conducted my first test in 2 weeks on my arch nemesis - the 46g bowfront. i have to say i was pleasantly pleased to see 0s across the board with about 30 (between 20 and 40) nitrates. I will let both tanks marinate one more night and then after work tomorrow I will do a 50% water change and before bed I will check my results. If the water change doesn't kill the bacteria, I will be trading in these "soldier" fish for the highly anticipated angel.
yeah it sucks i killed 2 fish and inflicted pain on a bunch more, but that's what happened. i tried the "methods" long and true. so you can't say i didnt attempt to do it the "right" way, truth is it got done. thanks again everyone, you know who you are. for anyone who wants a fast cycle and doesn't care - dont do water changes and it cycles fast.