This kind of goes full circle to the original post that Larry started. People do want to hear "yes, you're doing it right" and everyone likes when they're told that (hopefully we achieve a point where we KNOW we're doing things right...and if we're doing things wrong, we sort of know that too but don't tell anyone for fear of being criticized
) but I often notice when you tell people that they're NOT doing it right, the answer more often times than not is "Really? That's not what I've heard. Let me ask someone else..." and then inevitably, there WILL be people saying that they've kept goldfish with bettas before, no problem. Which makes the person feel like it's ok to do that, and it's hard to find an online resource saying specifically "Do NOT, under any circumstances, keep goldfish with bettas." which further makes it seem like it might be ok to do.
So what I ask from every member, for their own good really, is to see how...the need for validation and reassurance is all well and good, but don't take it too literally and
don't stop there. Even experience doesn't mean as much as you might think. A lot of LFS people have been in the hobby for a long time, decades perhaps, and if you think back to the times of bulletproof guppies, undergravel filters, 10% water changes and adding aquarium salt to every tank - the hobby has changed. Mostly for the good (equipment has come a long, LONG way) but also for the bad (species that used to be spectacular and feisty, like many cichlids, are very washed out and tame now and the hardiest of fish, such as guppies and many other livebearers, are often ridiculously overbred - and Camallanus worms in chain pet store livebearers, at least in my area, are a problem, etc.) regardless of where the fish originate from...you probably shouldn't just take experience alone as the qualification for "expert"...all I actually know for sure about "experts" is that every expert has an expert that they look up to, and every expert knows above all else, what they don't know and how little they actually do know. Just because someone is a marine biologist does not mean that they have the innate knowledge of how to setup a successful discus tank. Because someone breeds world class discus, doesn't mean that they know the best nano reef start up kit
I am not referring to anyone specifically. I just mean that while there is a craving for validation, when people do things that are a little risky or pushing it or they have a gut feeling is not right, the answer they get is going to be, more than likely, not what they want to hear....but eventually they may find something they prefer to hear, something that sounds more like "ok, it *might* work" and that's not really for the best, either.
Rather than wait for someone to tell you that goldfish are or aren't ok to keep with bettas, for example, just look at the requirements of the species. One likes water that is quite warm, one likes temperate water. One is primarily an herbivore, one is primarily a carnivore. One needs hard water to be healthy, one thrives in soft water. In other words...think. Don't just read various material online for hours, that's like the difference between reading and studying. You'll never do well on a test if you just read the chapters. Take notes...collect the best information...plan, and think about what you have now and what can work with it, so that there is still a comfortable amount of space, and so that all the creatures are getting what they need, not just a middle ground where there is a considerable compromise taking place.
One of the early reasons why people end up with a dozen or more tanks is that they start taking fish out of their community tank, when they realize how very wrong the mix of fish they have is...I know that's how I started! I kept rainbowfish with bettas, rams with cories, Buenos Aires tetras with giant danios. And this was all in a 29 gallon tank, at various times (doh!) My first 3 years of fishkeeping were spent this way, and it was basically getting subscriptions to AFI and TFH that changed my ways. Up until then I was trusting the advice of people who I thought knew what they were talking about. I still remember the "fish expert" at the fish store, who maintained all the service contracts (mostly SW, though) who told me it was perfectly normal for fish to get ich and finrot every now and then :wall:
By the way, Star Sapphire, I loved your post
It was good of you to relay your experience on the other forum, and I think it's completely relevant...it's a cautionary tale, because we really don't want to ever be that forum. Cliquish inside jokes and jabs, and condescending attitudes are never ok. We all have bad days and grumpy bouts every so often, but there's a difference between that and a pervasive, unwelcoming tone.
