Well, except for the starving thing (that's pretty major!) I'd suggest a pair of apistogrammas. Or as Sploke said, shrimp.
When I'm going to be gone for a longish while I pay someone to come over to feed 2 or 3 times a week. They don't necessarily need to be an experienced fish person if you have containers of the correct amount of food for each visit & are pretty sure you won't have filter issues or other problems.
Luckily I now have a neighbor's employee/friend that's an experienced fish person that can deal with emergency tank things that may come up. I don't ask him to do water changes etc, just feed & see that all is ok but at least he knows how to check & CAN deal with whatever happens. He appreciates a bit of extra $ with little effort & we get peace of mind. He also checks house & yard plants & waters as needed.
Where I used to live, we hired a "professional" pet sitter once during a family emergency. No fish or bird experience but willing. (We had both at the time. We later found out they left our door unlocked & wide open, eek!) Our retired neighbor was better, less expensive, but equally clueless... at least he locked the door!
I'd be OK with leaving our fish for 10 days or so, my husband is not. Plan on $10 (neighbor teen) to $20 (Pro pet sitter) per visit no matter what you ask them to do (within reason) & give explicit directions. It's well worth the cost.