Groooooooooooan!!!

[Cheech]

A mushroom walks into a bar, asks for a gin tonic. Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve mushrooms". Mushroom looks at him and says, " I'm not a mushroon, I'm a fungii

 

[Harlock]

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a Dog.

 

[FL Knifemaker]

Horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says "why the long face?"

QUOTE]

I heard a different version of that one just after the election!! :soda:

 

[125gJoe]

....
....

18. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into

orbit for experimental purposes. They called it the

herd shot round the world.

......

NASA really needs to stop all of those Holstein 'hackings'... Some people really think aliens are mutilating the cattle!!

 

[Dangerdoll]

ummm..... they're not?

over here, we accuse the Jersey Devil...

 

[Watcher74]

One day a husband took a box of Olympic contraceptives home. They were gold, bronze, and silver.

His wife asked him which kind he was going to wear first.

He said, "Why gold of course."

She replied, "Why not the silver? It would be nice if you came in second for once."

 

[Matak]

A mushroom walks into a bar, asks for a gin tonic. Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve mushrooms". Mushroom looks at him and says, " I'm not a mushroon, I'm a fungii

Have you heard about fun Gus?
Yep, that fun Gus sure is a fun Guy

 

[CajunCC]

A girl comes to the check out line at a grocery store with a small tube of toothpaste, a few frozen dinners, a 2-liter of cola, and a bag of candy. The cashier says, "hey, you're single, aren't you?" She looks up, smiles at him, and says, "yeah, how did you know?" He replies, "because you're friggin' UGLY!"

 

[Unome]

Q: What's green, has tires & grows?

A: Grass. I lied about the tires. :thud:

 

[tyella]

Two guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks.

That is one of my favorite jokes of all time.