I don't even know where to begin. So, I'm getting married in a week from today. And my parents are making the entire ordeal a living hell. I'm trying not to let it stress me out (when things go wrong, I try to keep a positive perspective and remember the end goal) but it's my family so it's impossible not to get stressed out. Its making me so mad because its the family that I love and I half feel like I don't even want them to be there!!
So, lets see...everything I have asked my parents to do, they have either not done or are repeatedly putting it off until I have to do it myself for fear of it not getting done.
*** I asked my dad to get his tux months ago to ensure it was done. He just went yesterday. For a wedding in a week. I asked him to go with the rest of the guys so that Chris (fiance) could get his for free. He said he didn't want to and that he wanted to go somewhere in town. So chris and the rest of the guys had to pay full price. He wanted tails and I said no, the groom is wearing a morning jacket and tails are resereved for that (besides, real tails don't really go at 10am). He finally at least conceded on that.
***The biggest thing is that he told me that his gift to us was the photographer. He shopped around, found one, and then I okay'ed it. Later, I ask him (to make sure) that it was taken care of. He says, well, I've hired someone else instead. I asked who. To my dismay, I discover that he hired the photographer I had from prom who was sooooo terrible I didn't even send her money for the shots! She screwed up every person's pictures at prom. She never even called to ask for payment. Bad business. Then, he hires her against my will. I tell him I'd rather pay myself than do that. Flash forward to yesterday when I got a call from the photographer explaining that she hadnt received the contract or payment back and that she must have it now. Turns out my dad knew five weeks ago that money got tight and he couldn't afford to pay her. He never even had the decency to tell me this so I could take care of it. I dont mind they coudn't afford it. I really mind that he lied to me and said he sent it. He then informed me that he had no intention of sending the money ever. "He would just let it slide."!!!!!!!!
*** I ask for a simple list of the people they would like to host a table with. I've been asking for four months now. Is it done? No. Can they give me that simple answer? No. Did they accept my suggestions? No. Can I do the rest of the seating chart without that info? No.
***My mother told me that she would make a ringbearer's pillow. She insisted in fact. I kept asking if it had gotten done, or even started, and was told "No." I asked numerous times. So yesterday, I made it myself. I just got off the phone with my mother who yelled at me because she "bought the stuff already ("I guess I'll through it in the [expletive] trash!" she said) and whats the big deal, there's five days left until you need it." :huh:
*** My dad is a painter and he told me he wanted to help paint the pots for our favors. I already was planning on doing it by hand but he said it would be best if he sprayed them. Are they done yet? No. Did he force me to drive an hour and a half north to drop them off 9 weeks ago because it "had to be done soon?" Yes.
*** I had a surprise bridal shower thrown for me. My sister is a maid of honor, as is chris's sister. My sister and mother didn't even help plan it. They just showed up with a card. That's fine. What gets annoying is that my mother just told me that I've done everythign with chris's family and that they weren't involved!! Chris' little sister always asks to help and sends me info and whatnot. I can't even get my sister to care, but I'm supposed to grovel for her help?! I don't think so.
*** Our printer broke (won't even turn on, don't have a clue what's up with that) and the programs needed to be printed. I called my parents house several times and could only get the answering machine, so I asked chris' parents if we could use their printer. They said sure (they also had the hole punch and paper cutter I needed). My mom just yelled at me for doing it with them...but when asked if she'd have let me use up all her black ink (it took almost a cartrdige) she said no way...i'd have had to bring my own!!!
*** My parents and sister haven't even sent back their response card (prestamped, self addressed!)!!!!! Simple task!
*** My dad insisted I invite this group of 32 people (his family; it's huge and very extended). I said fine. He said he was sure they'd all show up. Only like 15 are....
***He has invited 12 people without even asking me first! I'm paying for this all...and my mom jsut said I was being selfish because I "didn't want" to invite my parent's friends (which is very different than saying "I wish you had asked first). She then goes "Oh, I'm sorry, fill up all the spaces with chris' family".
Chris' entire family is 8 people, including him! Dear Lord.
***The money for what they said they'd help pay (I didn't even ask or imply that they should have to help) was "spent on other things." I kept asking if they'd have it and he said yes yes yes. The bill came due and miraculously, no money from them. They had 2 years to come up with this amount (it wasnt a whole lot). He then, after saying he didn't have any money at all, asked if chris wanted to go deep sea fishing with him thursday! His TREAT! That's like 150$ all told. That really pushed chris' buttons.
The list goes on and on. My dad "forgot" where the rehearsal was, what time it was at, that it was even happening. My mom "forgot" she was supposed to come get her dress fitted with me.
I haven't been able to vent this to anyone because I dont want to make my parents look worse than they make themselves look to chris's parents or family. Thanks for the "ear" if anyone actually read all that.
I dont even know what to do. I just got yelled at for 10 minutes before I finally had to hang up on my own mother! It's getting to the point where I am mad that they get to enjoy the benefits that I've worked so hard to do. And that makes me feel worse Even if no one reads all that cathartic dribble, I feel better having gotten it out.
So, lets see...everything I have asked my parents to do, they have either not done or are repeatedly putting it off until I have to do it myself for fear of it not getting done.
*** I asked my dad to get his tux months ago to ensure it was done. He just went yesterday. For a wedding in a week. I asked him to go with the rest of the guys so that Chris (fiance) could get his for free. He said he didn't want to and that he wanted to go somewhere in town. So chris and the rest of the guys had to pay full price. He wanted tails and I said no, the groom is wearing a morning jacket and tails are resereved for that (besides, real tails don't really go at 10am). He finally at least conceded on that.
***The biggest thing is that he told me that his gift to us was the photographer. He shopped around, found one, and then I okay'ed it. Later, I ask him (to make sure) that it was taken care of. He says, well, I've hired someone else instead. I asked who. To my dismay, I discover that he hired the photographer I had from prom who was sooooo terrible I didn't even send her money for the shots! She screwed up every person's pictures at prom. She never even called to ask for payment. Bad business. Then, he hires her against my will. I tell him I'd rather pay myself than do that. Flash forward to yesterday when I got a call from the photographer explaining that she hadnt received the contract or payment back and that she must have it now. Turns out my dad knew five weeks ago that money got tight and he couldn't afford to pay her. He never even had the decency to tell me this so I could take care of it. I dont mind they coudn't afford it. I really mind that he lied to me and said he sent it. He then informed me that he had no intention of sending the money ever. "He would just let it slide."!!!!!!!!
*** I ask for a simple list of the people they would like to host a table with. I've been asking for four months now. Is it done? No. Can they give me that simple answer? No. Did they accept my suggestions? No. Can I do the rest of the seating chart without that info? No.
***My mother told me that she would make a ringbearer's pillow. She insisted in fact. I kept asking if it had gotten done, or even started, and was told "No." I asked numerous times. So yesterday, I made it myself. I just got off the phone with my mother who yelled at me because she "bought the stuff already ("I guess I'll through it in the [expletive] trash!" she said) and whats the big deal, there's five days left until you need it." :huh:
*** My dad is a painter and he told me he wanted to help paint the pots for our favors. I already was planning on doing it by hand but he said it would be best if he sprayed them. Are they done yet? No. Did he force me to drive an hour and a half north to drop them off 9 weeks ago because it "had to be done soon?" Yes.
*** I had a surprise bridal shower thrown for me. My sister is a maid of honor, as is chris's sister. My sister and mother didn't even help plan it. They just showed up with a card. That's fine. What gets annoying is that my mother just told me that I've done everythign with chris's family and that they weren't involved!! Chris' little sister always asks to help and sends me info and whatnot. I can't even get my sister to care, but I'm supposed to grovel for her help?! I don't think so.
*** Our printer broke (won't even turn on, don't have a clue what's up with that) and the programs needed to be printed. I called my parents house several times and could only get the answering machine, so I asked chris' parents if we could use their printer. They said sure (they also had the hole punch and paper cutter I needed). My mom just yelled at me for doing it with them...but when asked if she'd have let me use up all her black ink (it took almost a cartrdige) she said no way...i'd have had to bring my own!!!
*** My parents and sister haven't even sent back their response card (prestamped, self addressed!)!!!!! Simple task!
*** My dad insisted I invite this group of 32 people (his family; it's huge and very extended). I said fine. He said he was sure they'd all show up. Only like 15 are....
***He has invited 12 people without even asking me first! I'm paying for this all...and my mom jsut said I was being selfish because I "didn't want" to invite my parent's friends (which is very different than saying "I wish you had asked first). She then goes "Oh, I'm sorry, fill up all the spaces with chris' family".
Chris' entire family is 8 people, including him! Dear Lord.***The money for what they said they'd help pay (I didn't even ask or imply that they should have to help) was "spent on other things." I kept asking if they'd have it and he said yes yes yes. The bill came due and miraculously, no money from them. They had 2 years to come up with this amount (it wasnt a whole lot). He then, after saying he didn't have any money at all, asked if chris wanted to go deep sea fishing with him thursday! His TREAT! That's like 150$ all told. That really pushed chris' buttons.
The list goes on and on. My dad "forgot" where the rehearsal was, what time it was at, that it was even happening. My mom "forgot" she was supposed to come get her dress fitted with me.
I haven't been able to vent this to anyone because I dont want to make my parents look worse than they make themselves look to chris's parents or family. Thanks for the "ear" if anyone actually read all that.
I dont even know what to do. I just got yelled at for 10 minutes before I finally had to hang up on my own mother! It's getting to the point where I am mad that they get to enjoy the benefits that I've worked so hard to do. And that makes me feel worse
Even if no one reads all that cathartic dribble, I feel better having gotten it out.
). 
