I need to vent, please (long).

the best advice i can give you ...after just attending my sisters wedding that had numerous problems as well ...is this....THIS IS YOUR DAY...start delagating tasks...your brides maids and honor can deal with your parent ..after all you are extremely busy ...make the seating chart however YOU want it and have a really good freind troll through the wedding with a rented video camera ...and buy a few disposables and let some trusted guests take your pictures ....hire a photagapher only for you between pictures ...saves money and youll get shots you would have never otherwise gotten ...also buy one of those elcheapo black and white disposables and have a freind take some pics ..youlll love the results ...and most of all ...when some one is complaining to you politly tell them that this is your wedding and whatever you want is what you should get ...your family will be mad sometimes but hey thell get over it ...and last but not least to smooth edges in the long run ..send a thank you card to your family handwritten thanking the,mm for being "so supportive and attending " ;) this will make them feel special ..above all relax the best memories are the unplanned ones ...lol but good luck and congrats :clap: ....let us all know how your big day went ...please! :thm:
 
Judgemax started me to thinking...do you know anyone that takes really good pics? My dad did pictures for a couple of weddings becasue he had a good camera and could frame a half way decent shot. If you had your heart set on really nice pics, it won't be the same though. And I agree with her comment that you just need to do the seating chart.
Hang in there, it sounds like your fiance's family is supportive. Take the help they offer. They are soon to be your family too.
Keep us posted so you can blow off steam.
 
This is exactly why I personally don't need a wedding. My sister and her husband had my parents graciously pay around $25,000 for the whole wedding & reception thing. Now, 4 years later, things haven't worked out and they are agreed to being seperated but still living together. Merely being tolerant of eachother. I just see the whole ceremony as a waste of money, why not use it for something more practical like building a house or business for yourselves? Go to the courthouse, get the license, in the end that is the only thing that matters, at least for legalities.

I know how family can be overbearing and pushy, or just downright selfish. Look at it this way, once you and your fiance are married, you will have your own private lives together and it is at your will to exclude or include any relatives or friends who seem a bit too stressful for you to have in your life. Now, I know this is your family and you love them, but when it comes to your own happiness as an adult, I believe strongly that you should have every right to cut ties with them. I don't know if they have only been this way with having to do with your wedding, or are like this often, but it is really unfair what they are putting you through. Especially the part about them critizing you for being with your fiance's family more than them. His family sure sounds alot more helpful at the moment, and you know that's what counts.

However this ordeal turns out for you, I wish you well, and keep in mind as the others have said, this too shall pass. I'm 20 and talking like I'm 40 again :p: But if I give you words of comfort and advise, then I think it's worthy. However you find a way to get through this, soon you and your significant other will have your own lives to share, hopefully for a long time to come. You will find a way to get through, we are humans, we are one of the most adaptable animals on Earth. Well, I've spouted a long enough post, so I'll go about my way now:) Good Luck~ Angela
 
I just wanted to open the gate and give everyone a glimpse of the other side of the fence on this one. My wedding was quite simple. A beach ceremony with a handful of friends (no family involved). We decided when we got engaged that our wedding was for us, not for anyone else. We planned a ceremony for October, but while lounging in a hammock one day in June my now husband said, "why not just do it this weekend?" So we did. I wore a white bikini with a silk wrap. He wore khakis and a white button up shirt. My best friend's daughter was our ringbearer and used a seashell as a pillow. It was spontaneous, fun and "tacky" as my sister called it. lol

She, on the other hand, went all out with her wedding. And let me tell you, she was unbearable. Calligraphy invitations, a $5000 gown with a six foot train, and these awful teal taffeta bridesmaid dresses that she stuffed me and our other two sisters in, seating arrangements, rehearsal dinners... quite honestly, it was horrible. And it wasn't the wedding that was the problem. It was her attitude. Her wedding day almost destroyed her relationships with the entire family. I remember my mother bursting into tears because the cake that she had ordered wasn't up to my sister's standards and my sis jumped down her throat and crawled out the other end because of it. (The plastic bride on top had the right color hair-blonde-but it was straight, not curly.) She even forced me to drive to the supermarket in that horrid dress for rice. (I wanted to use popped corn, simply because it's not as dangerous to birds as dry rice is.)

Everyone tried their best to do as she wanted, but she wasn't pleased with anything. When it was over, we all avoided her for weeks because we were sick and tired of being fussed at because we didn't live up to her expectations. Even to this day, she still brings up the fact that our family was a disapointment. (Well, gee, sis... I'm not an expert at calligraphy so excuse me if it took a couple of extra days to finish your invitations.) And apparently our faults disturbed her so much that she blamed us for not being able to relax on her honeymoon. Being fed up with her attitude I finally told her that if she wanted the perfect wedding and the perfect family to attend, she should have hired stand ins to follow orders and let the rest of us go on our way. I mean, we're human beings for God's sake... not robots. Not saying this is the case with you, I'm just speaking of personal experience. The harsh truth is that nobody feels your wedding is as important as you do-even your own family (that's what my sister said to me when her wedding was done and over). And as much as I love to disagree with her, I think she's right on this one.

I hope you can relax and take everything that comes your way with a grain of salt. The wedding is important, I won't try to say that it isn't. It's a celebration of love and life. However, your new life as a wife to the man you love outweighs any ceremony. Good luck, and congratulations! Even if your family isn't as supportive as they should be, it sounds as if your fiance's family is. And I can tell by the previous posts that you have lots of people who care for you and will support you right here.
 
Yeesh, it sounds like you're having a stressful time. Hopefully things will settle down for you. Weddings can be stressful anyways, but then when things start going wrong, you feel like you need to pull punches to keep the peace, and then you end up feeling more and more frustrated, and your stress level rises, and the cycle continues. Venting here is probably a very good idea.

A couple of "cheap" ideas for getting more pictures. A formal photographer that captures the feel of the day is great, but really the formal photographer only need capture the formal pictures. Your guests will be able to capture a lot of the rest of the day--and perhaps even elicit more natural responses than the formal photographer. As someone said earlier, disposable cameras distributed around the reception will help a lot. You can also buy a polaroid camera and combine that with your guest book. If you do this, make sure you announce it or something, though, as it seems easy to miss whole groups of people.

And, above all, try really hard to relax and have fun on your wedding day! Just embrace whatever happens and remember what you said during the ceremony--that's the important bit. Plus, if you're having fun, your guests will, too.
 
Sigh.

Thank you guys so much. I was almost in tears by the time I finished writing that yesterday. But then I did something totally uncharacteristic and went and hung out with a bunch of my friend's friends I don't even know and needless to say I just stumbled out of bed at 1:15 pm. Feeling better;)

So, yah. The photographer is taken care of. One phone call to Chris's parents and his mom sent the check out within minutes. I've not told my parents because I think they ought to sweat it out.

Normal things that go wrong don't bother me much. We've had lots of things "go wrong" (Oh, you can't fit that table there...hmm the tuxes need to be back the next day two hours away) but none of that really bothers me. I didn't care when Ashley tied all the bows messily on the programs (hand made, they kick butt. I'm gonna post a picture as soon as I get one), I didn't care when the stickers went on the bubble bottles crooked. I really don't think I'm a bridezilla LOL. I am just upset that my parents basically lied about their part in everything. Its just that I can't believe my parents are upset with me because they aren't helping. Hello? Earth to the 'rental units.

Thankfully, chris' parents are the opposite of mine: trustworthy, honest, helpful, etc. It's awful but true.And they're very capable of helping with the expenses but we didn't want to be put in the position of asking for help, but my parents forced us to. They're already paying for our entire honeymoon, the musicians, the flowers, the officiant, etc etc.

And aknif's comment about Springer turning down her family I completely understand.

Minus my parents things, the whole thing is pretty simple. The ceremony is on the verrandah of the hotel the reception is in (easy), its a sit down meal that I didn't even have to deal with other than pick out food (and taste - yum. Can we say chilled cantaloupe puree). Most of the "extras" I have done myself over the past year, so no big deal. Plus, I LOVE being crafty and it was a good excuse. No fuss, no muss.

My maids of honor are only 15 and 16, so they can't help a whole lot. My oldest bridesmaid lives in FL with the bestman but is very busy with a new baby and a 3 year old. And the other bridesmaid is in Belgium atm.

As for the wedding itself, we've been together since I was a freshmen in high school and living together for three years....our parents almost didn't care when we got engaged because they were waiting for it for so long. So we wanted to "go in with a bang" and have the wedding we wanted.

And surprise surprise. My parents aren't answering their phone, email, cell phone, or Instant Messages. Lovely.

So, Thank you guys. I read everyword of all the posts and I appreciate the support - and I needed it!
 
That honeymoon in Bora Bora is looking pretty good right about now, eh Leo?
 
Slappy*McFish said:
That honeymoon in Bora Bora is looking pretty good right about now, eh Leo?
Click to expand...

Oh, you are dead on. :cool:
 
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