Is a Loyal Boyfriend Hard to Find?

OrionGirl said:
I just know that the people who have meant the most in my life--friends, and my husband, weren't people I looked for. Most of them aren't even people I have tons in common with, either. They are people that I met in different circumstances--work, a bar, a class, online...And ended up really liking and wanting to build a relationship with them.
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I think the important point hidden in this is that you DO have to speak to strangers, make some sort of small talk to find out about them, they might be very nice and worth knowing. I wonder how many people we all pass by each day, not breaking into each other's space?
 
OrionGirl said:
Harlock--Casper Wyoming has had a *** governor for a number of years.
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Yes, I just thought it interesting that Jersey would pas that law. Reminds me of the old adage one of my Government professors drilled into us in college, "Politics is self interest". Does Wyoming have a similar law out of curiosity?
 
OrionGirl said:
Oh, and yes, I am one of those ya'll are judging. I am quite certain I lost no self-resect, nor dignity, nor anything else for having chosen to live with the man I ended up marrying before getting married. And if you think differently--that's in your eyes, and no concern on mine. Do I think everyone should live together before marriage? Nope. It worked for me, it doesn't work for others. Leave it at that.
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OG.....no one was judging anyone here as far as I could read it......in fact......I too lived with my husband before we married, so I was speaking from experience. It was a bad move and one I would NOT repeat if I could go back and do it all over again.
 
nursie said:
How does common law status come into play with things like employer based health insurance, retirement benefits and social security?
Not sure about the health insurance, but retirement benefits (health insurance and prescription drug benefits) and social security go to the surviving spouse. May not mean anything now to younger people, but I work with an older population of people and it can mean a lot of money.
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Yes, common law is considered the same as married in the eyes of the law (in Canada)...and same-sex couples have had those same legal rights since 2000.
 
ashdavid said:
You sound so much like me when I was younger. You say you are lonely, well I know how you feel, I used to always have to have someone around the house, a friend or a family member or I would get so lonely it was scary. Then I moved to Japan (for work at that time), and let me tell you when you can't speak the language(I am fluent now) and you can't express what you are trying to say or feeling, well this is the meaning of lonelyness. I had no one, I lived in a 15' * 9' appartment, no family, no english to listen to on the TV, no computer, making a phone call home would cost about $1 a minute, no friends, and no one who spoke english where I worked. That was the deffenition of lonely. This may not have a lot to do with you, but what I am trying to say is once you learn how to cope with lonelyness, you will find choosing someone will be a lot easier, mainly b/c you will be strong enough to not need to depend on someone all your life. I am not saying that deppendence is bad, but as they say everything in small amouts is best, or should I say too much of something is not good.
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Yeah, I know what you mean. I've been on my own for alot of my life, but I have gotten benefits from it. You learn from it. I'm glad I'm not really that dependent on others, because I've had lots of people let me down. But I learned to let it roll off my back like water, it may sting a little, but I can let it go and get on with my life now. You also become very observant of people on the outside, and learn to read their actions and such. It helps sometimes to watch people how they act while you're not being noticed yourself, because that way you can take mental notes. ~Angela
 
centralharbor said:
im pretty much in that same situation. im 21, relationship going on for 3 years though. honestly, you should just try make friends. im shy, but i found a girlfriend through a friend and its been cool ever since. of course i do hate her every so often, but its more what she does than what she is. clubs and bars arent really the places to look for a significant other, id go to other places that you have common interests with, i.e. hang out at music stores or concerts (which could be at bars i guess).

one of my friends was joking with me, but i think she was serious, this was before she knew i had a girlfriend. the situation was she was talking with another friend how she broke up with her boyfriend recently and another person said that i'm a hot catch, then she said "i'll try anything once" or something to that effect. i guess what i'm trying to say is, dont take dating seriously, live it up, your young. find the right guy later, deal with the crap now, as long as it isnt really dangerous crap.
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I actually wouldn't mind skipping the crap, but I imagine I'll still face some. I would prefer not to fool around too much, I mean flirting and stuff like that's cool, but I just don't want something to happen with someone unless it's serious. I guess I'm scared of making a mistake of the heart, or getting involved with someone under false pretenses. I'll take your advice though, and try to have fun with friends and other people. Thanx:)~Angela
 
Riso-chan said:
I guess I'm scared of making a mistake of the heart, or getting involved with someone under false pretenses.
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Didn't someone once say "Its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." ?

When you get older you'll understand that so many of the things you did when young are just chalked up as experience and are just there to give you a better perspective as you get older. No reason to be afraid.
 
Galaxie said:
Didn't someone once say "Its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." ?

When you get older you'll understand that so many of the things you did when young are just chalked up as experience and are just there to give you a better perspective as you get older. No reason to be afraid.
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I suppose you're right. I know I might go through a few before I find the right one for me, but I just want to be clear and level headed about it. I just hope it won't be too far from now that I find that someone. I really don't think I'll end up actively looking, it's a little too awkward I guess, and from what everyone tells me it ends up happening when you least expect it. So, I guess it would be best for now to just go somewhere I can meet people with common interests, make friends and go from there. So far, I've had lots of experiences that have ended up being chalked up to experience already. I'm a little afraid of getting hurt I guess, that's the thing that makes me the most nervous. I just hope when/if I find love, that it isn't lost at all. :) ~Angela
 
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