Is a Loyal Boyfriend Hard to Find?

[mishi8]

Yeah, I guess that expression does get old, but it doesn't bother me. I think when you realize that you can pair up with someone and not go through life alone, you just start to wonder how long it'll be 'til you have someone to be with. I hope it happens when I'm young though, I want to be able to still do lots of things when I meet that person, as well as having the security of not having to wait for someone anymore. The one pet peeve that I get is when peopel tell me "Oh, you're too young to know whether or not you want kids, just wait til you get a little older..." I've known ever since I was a little girl I didn't want kids. I never really played with dolls, or rush to hold a friend's baby either, what's that tell you? I want a very indepedent life, thanx. ~Angela

You're in a good position, then, knowing that you want to have an independent life. That means you have many years ahead of you to enjoy that independence. It's sad to hear that you're feeling lonely right now. But you know, if you're living life to the fullest and are making your life enjoyable for yourself, then it probably won't be long before someone comes along who wants to share that life with you.

 

[Galaxie]

BTW, I personally don't want kids, nor do I really need to be married. Unless he wants to marry me, that's fine. I guess it must be that I'm sympathetic in that some women push for so too much that it scares the guy. The other thing is that I want to make sure he loves animals too, I just think it would work out better that way. I feel bad too that guys have to get up the nerve to go up to a girl and be rejected in a rude fashion sometimes, some women are just mean. I also think it sad that when a guy really wants someone loyal himself, often he gets dealt the same as some women when it comse to cheating. While I'm willing to comprimise with someone, I don't plan on letting anyone treating me like dirt. I think they'd get it right back if that happened, then I'd walk out the door. I'll take my time, I know that I get ahead of myself with worry, but I guess that it's just that I don't want to feel alone in my struggles. Again, thanx to everybody giving me advice and words of wisdom. ~Angela

 

[Larissa]

There are most definately good loyal guys out there but like others have mentioned, you never seem to find them when you're actively looking. I know it gets lonely sometimes, I'm sorry about that. Make sure that when you do get together with someone long term, they know how you feel about marriage, kids, etc. You don't want to invest your time, energy and heart into someone who say really wants children if you don't. I've been very blessed to have met my husband very young like bluiz. I got married at 18 and 8 years later I'm still married to the same wonderful man. I couldn't be happier but it doesn't work that way for everyone.

 

[Emg]

I think Galaxie's in love.....LOL !

Angela, there's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting any kids. I have a very good friend who felt the same way....she's 43 and hasn't changed her mind yet...in fact, she married a fella who's "fixed"...heehee... same thing....she's always known she didn't want any...no questions about it....and her husband if obviously fine with it too...he has two from a previous marraige...

 

[Watcher74]

Yeah, I know how it is to be lonely.

Crap I did that for a big chunk of my life.

My first girlfriend cheated on me and then killed herself when I wouldn't take her back.

I didn't so much as hold a girl's hand for 8 years after that.

By then I was so crushed with loneliness I decided on the wrong woman. And was mentally abused for a few years, until she threw me aside.

That after beating myself up for 8 years over the bad decisions of a young girl in my youth.

A couple years after that I met my wife.

3 beautiful kids and a loving, doting woman.

And I didn't search for her. I just found her.

Life is weird. But that's why I like it so much.

Everything that happens makes you you. And I wouldn't change it for anything.

Could have been a lot worse.

I could have been an A**hole. :

 

[centralharbor]

A loyal girlfriend is harder to find.


Honestly, its more luck than anything. Im the same age as you (21) and Ive been in a relationship for 5 years now. But my girlfriend and I have both changed alot during that time, and our relationship is more rocky now than ever before.

im pretty much in that same situation. im 21, relationship going on for 3 years though. honestly, you should just try make friends. im shy, but i found a girlfriend through a friend and its been cool ever since. of course i do hate her every so often, but its more what she does than what she is. clubs and bars arent really the places to look for a significant other, id go to other places that you have common interests with, i.e. hang out at music stores or concerts (which could be at bars i guess).

one of my friends was joking with me, but i think she was serious, this was before she knew i had a girlfriend. the situation was she was talking with another friend how she broke up with her boyfriend recently and another person said that i'm a hot catch, then she said "i'll try anything once" or something to that effect. i guess what i'm trying to say is, dont take dating seriously, live it up, your young. find the right guy later, deal with the crap now, as long as it isnt really dangerous crap.

 

[nursie]

Og..didn't mean to offend by coming off as a marriage proponet, I really don't care how others choose to live their lives. I guess the point I was trying to make was not to sell yourself short and hold fast to what you believe in. If you want marriage...hold out for it. If you don't..then don't let yourself be talked into it. The most important is to find someone who shares your beliefs.

Do consider legalities...there are legal benefits of marriage. Probably the most important happened to a patient we had. This couple had lived together for years, and had 4 children. He had a massive stroke, and when time came to be making decisions regarding his care needs, it was found that they were not legally married. So the woman whom he loved and shared his life with was not allowed to make decisions for his care, they had to track down his mother...out of state, and get her consent. To get things set up so his signigicant other could care for him, they had to obtain his mother's consent and his siblings consent to delegate her as his healthcare advocate.
Obviously, this is not necessarily a concern at the outset of a relationship...but don't let too may years drift by...this couple was only in their 30's.

 

[Puffernewbee]

the futures not ours 2 C kay sarah sarah what will be will beeeee

That is "Que sera, sera" not "kay sarah sarah". Spanish for "what will be will be".

Dr. Phil visits Aquaria Central.

 

[ashdavid]

Thanx to everyone for their advice. I'm not in a rush, it's just that I get lonely alot, and that longing feeling comes along. I would like it to be someone who's a best friend first, I often hear that those relationships do well. I know everything will take time, and my GrandFather always tells me that it'll happen when I'm least expecting it. Seems to be funny how life turns out that way.
My biggest thing right now is that I need some frineds to hang out with. Most of my friends from college live too far from me, and I graduated last year, so I don't see them anymore. You guys are right though, I should try to find a club of some kind to meet with nearby. I have a few interests I think I could look into. Thanx again.
BTW, I personally don't want kids, nor do I really need to be married. Unless he wants to marry me, that's fine. I guess it must be that I'm sympathetic in that some women push for so too much that it scares the guy. The other thing is that I want to make sure he loves animals too, I just think it would work out better that way. I feel bad too that guys have to get up the nerve to go up to a girl and be rejected in a rude fashion sometimes, some women are just mean. I also think it sad that when a guy really wants someone loyal himself, often he gets dealt the same as some women when it comse to cheating. While I'm willing to comprimise with someone, I don't plan on letting anyone treating me like dirt. I think they'd get it right back if that happened, then I'd walk out the door. I'll take my time, I know that I get ahead of myself with worry, but I guess that it's just that I don't want to feel alone in my struggles. Again, thanx to everybody giving me advice and words of wisdom. ~Angela

You sound so much like me when I was younger. You say you are lonely, well I know how you feel, I used to always have to have someone around the house, a friend or a family member or I would get so lonely it was scary. Then I moved to Japan (for work at that time), and let me tell you when you can't speak the language(I am fluent now) and you can't express what you are trying to say or feeling, well this is the meaning of lonelyness. I had no one, I lived in a 15' * 9' appartment, no family, no english to listen to on the TV, no computer, making a phone call home would cost about $1 a minute, no friends, and no one who spoke english where I worked. That was the deffenition of lonely. This may not have a lot to do with you, but what I am trying to say is once you learn how to cope with lonelyness, you will find choosing someone will be a lot easier, mainly b/c you will be strong enough to not need to depend on someone all your life. I am not saying that deppendence is bad, but as they say everything in small amouts is best, or should I say too much of something is not good.

 

[Galaxie]

Do consider legalities...there are legal benefits of marriage.

There are certainly tax advantages too. Especially when there are children.