Is a Loyal Boyfriend Hard to Find?

Riso-chan

Riso-chan

The Blue Girl
Jan 17, 2005
322
0
0
41
Florida, USA
Another one of my nervous qeustions, because I have no experience in this area of life and need to know from those more experienced. :help: I don't have much of a social life right now, but I think it'll get better once I find a job, hopefully soon...
The unfortunate thing is that I don't really find getting drunk or going to bars/clubs fun like alot of others my age (I'm 21). I'll I want are a few decent friends to hang out with, and person to live my life with.
Now, I want to be realistic when looking for someone. I know no one is perfect, and I wouldn't want that anyway due to the fact that everyone else would want that too. I just want someone who is of average looks, but who I have much in common with and who will love me for who I am. do you think that too much to ask?
I plan on being straight forward with that person from the beginning about what I want in my life, and hopefully he will be the same with me. I think that's the thing these days, not many people are clear about what they want or expect in the relationship from the start. So, without clear boundaries, people misunderstand eachother, and fight or breakup. Am I understanding this correctly?
By chance, I read an article in this month's reader's digest about the way men differ from woemn in the way they express emotions. It was an interesting insight, actually helpful. I can understand now why they show it so differently, the reasons for it are both to do with how the male brain works and the society we are raised in as well. I know it's just one article, but it was at least a look into someone dfferent from myself that hopefully one day I will share my life with.
I know the male animal is naturally inclined to want variety, that's proven in many other animals. Really, it's not surprising that so few are monogamous. The only ones I'm sure of are wolves, macaw parrots, some birds, certain fish, and even a virus organism. I don't have any issues with looking at dirty mags, or any of that fun stuff :p: , even glancing at other women isn't as bad(as long as you do it without me seeing, but if she's got basketballs on her chest I'll stare too.:)). It seems ridiculous to try to control another person's eyes. As long as you don't actually jump on someone else, that stuff doesn't bother me, because I know it's part of a guy's nature. Let me know if you think I'm being reasonably, and that I have a few things straight as far as understanding. ~Angela


BTW, I'm not one to read all these crazy women's magazines that think they can tell women everything. I'm a bit more skeptical than that, I don't give them much of a glance. I like to look at something of scientific fact or at least psychological for its accuracy.
 
You should be able to find a loyal guy, they are out there. All I can say is don't rush it, if you do you will make a mistake, keep things simple at first and take it slowly. One other thing is don't be too critical, when I say that I am refering to looks,habits and anything else that guys do. There has to be a compromise somewhere in the middle.
 
Ash gave a good answer. Don't rush it. The notion of "looking" for someone is fraught with disappointment, at least it is if you're looking for someone reliable and long term and not just for momentary comfort.

What can I say? Yes, they are out there. Don't know if they're hard to find. Be patient, but don't take any crap. I've had so many female friends who put up with bull from their guys that I spent a long time convinced that women don't really want a good guy, they just like to say that they do. Like you, I give more weight to observation and evidence than to words. Hmmm, I'm off track. Anyway, be patient but expect respect.
 
Riso-chan said:
...The unfortunate thing is that I don't really find getting drunk or going to bars/clubs fun like alot of others my age (I'm 21)...
Click to expand...

We found the problem ;)

Sounds like you are just going through a rough patch - it happens and you can only get more experience from it. Just stick with the search and don't get discouraged cuz you never know where you can find it. As most things are, it seems like you find what you need when you are least expecting it, so just keep an open mind about that. You sound level headed so I don't think you'll have too much trouble! Good luck to ya!


Maybe you should post in the wanted ads like alicia :D
http://www.aquariacentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23036
 
Last edited:
Wow..great advice from the guys. Just wan t to provide more food for thought. It's not necessarily a good thing to look for someone that you work with. That can cause more problems than it's worth if the relationship goes bad.
Do you get out and do things? Bars and getting drunk aren't necessarily the best place to find someone. I found my husband at college...stopped by a friends room and there he was. Do you get out and do things that bring you in contact with other people? Special interest clubs, church, pick up some college classes are a few thoughts. You don't have to wait to have a guy strike up a conversation, guys can be shy too. But on the other hand you do need to be patient and not patently obvious that you are interested in a long term relationship. I knew shortly after I met my husband he was the one. It took 3 years..but I had to finish college first.

HC..I have a daughter that's 24, and so far no serious relationship. I know she's had guy friends, but nothing else I know of (I know..mothers don't know everything). We were discussing this one day, more in relation to a friend that had always had a boyfriend, and she made a great comment about it. She said that I should be glad that she had good enough self esteem that she didn't need to find some loser to date just to make herself feel good. Wow..my thought was..I did good!
 
Patience is the key. Those guys are out there, though often I think they are overlooked for reasons like happy said, keep in mind that having someone that looks great is nice, but 40 years down the road, its not gonna mean a thing, but 40 years down the road that person will still be the same person (not nessecarily but you know what I mean).
 
Riso, keep in mind that you are still young. You've plenty of time to bump into Mr. Right. Don't rush into relationships because the first impression is that he's great. Trust me, my mr. shy ended up being mr. abusive. And he really tried to make me feel like I couldn't go on without him. But I was young then.

You are at an age when you're going through changes. And those changes will continue for the next several years. I swear, if I had married my husband sooner than I did, it never would've lasted because of the changes we both went through during our engagement.

Take your time and don't look. Just look for people that are fun to hang out with. You can meet them at work, school (college) and church.

Good luck.

;)

Lila
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
AquariaCentral.com
Top Bottom