Joke thread

Three guys were down on their luck, living in the city and had no food. They were starving and didn't know what to do.
They spied a truck pulled up the grocery store unloading cheese.
One guy says "Lets jump on the truck and each grab a hunk of cheese and take off running"
Another guy says, "Yeah, if we all run off in different directions, the guy on the truck can't catch all three of us"
So they all jump on the truck and grab a hunk of cheese and run off in different directions.
Later, they rendezvous at the appointed place with their cheese.
One guy says "I got swiss cheese"
The next guy says "I got cheddar cheese"
The third guy says "I got nacho cheese"
The first guy says, "Nacho cheese? That isn't a kind of cheese. What makes you think that's nacho cheese"
.
.
.
.
"Well when I ran off with the cheese, the guy on the truck started chasing after me, and he was yelling "That's nacho cheese, thats nacho cheese"


(get it: "not your cheese")
 
What happens when you play a country and western song backwards???








The singer gets his wife, house, truck, dog and his job back!
 
A piece of string was walking through town doing some window shopping.
He started to get hungery so he popped into a diner and sat down at the
counter. The cook turns around and says "what can I get ya?"

The piece of string replies "I'll have a BLT and the soup of the day"

Cook says "wait, your a piece of string, I don't serve your kind here"

"But" says the string "you can't do that! Thats discrimination"

"Call it what you want, but the fact is your not eating here!" says the cook
as he throws the piece of string out.

So the piece of string continues down the street to look for something else
to eat. But it was getting late and all the other restaurants were closed for
the night. So the piece of string gets sad, sits down on the curb and starts
to cry not knowing what he is going to do.

Then one of the strings friends comes around the corner and sees him
crying. The friend asks him whats the matter and the string tells him about
what happened at the diner and how there is nowhere else to eat.

The friend thinks about it and then it hits him "I'll disguise you so you can
walk in there and you can eat." So he picks the string up, unravels his
ends, and ties him in a bow. "There, now he won't think your a piece of
string."

The piece of string walks back into the diner, sits down at the counter and
the cook turns to him.

"what can I get ya?"

"I'll have a BLT and a soup of the day"

The cook turns around and starts to scoop up the soup, but stops and
turns back to the string..."Wait a sec. I know you, your that piece of string
I wouldn't serve earlier"

"No I'm not, I've never been here before" says the string.

"Yeah you are, I never forget a piece of string I toss out of here"

The string replies "No, I'm afraid not"






get it? (I'm a frayed knot)
 
Here's an old one for you.......A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and asks "can you make me one with everything?"

Here's another.

Two kindergarten boys are standing next to each other at the school urinals. One boy has been circumcized and the other has not. The boy who has not looks over and says "what happened to you!" The other boy replies "I was circumsized" The first boy says "man, didn't that hurt?" to which the other buy replies "HURT!! I couldn't walk for a year!!"
 
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Anyone interested in these comics should visit http://www.rhjunior.com/NT/00001.html and start at the beginning, its quite funny really, just as a warning, it does have conservative overtones.
 
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