kids!!!

[Alicia]

I have 4 nephews ranging in age from 6 years to 1 1/2 years old. They don't have aquariums in their house except for the Fisher Price ones. The two 6 year olds and the 3 year old have grown up with my fish. Everytime they would come to their grandmas house when I still lived there they would always feed them, and they would even help with water changes everyonce in a while. Now they want their own, and my sister says thay can have one just as long as their aunt Alicia comes out and cleans it. I think that they can do it themselves.
I think that the people that said to get them involved were perfectly right. My nephews are 3 and 6 and they know the difference between a pool, the tub, and an aquarium. Good luck with your kids

 

[mattj]

well, I got the water drained today. need to rinse and refill tonight. I should have anticpated this as my kids have done something similar to each of my other tanks *once.* Wish they were old enough to transfer that learning to new tanks. I think it's the curiosity about "something new" that gets the better of them. none the less there were consequences.

 

[NikkO]

that sucks a lot..150gallons wasted. Was the water already cycled? or would it already be easy for it to cycle quicker?

 

[125gJoe]

Originally posted by Hans
THIS IS BULL URINE!

Technically, you are wrong on this one..
This is the Bull 'stuff'.......

 

[jb_lyndon]

I don't know about the whole "kids will be kids" mentality.
I mean if they've done it before, however precious it may have seemed when your little angels were exhibiting an interest in TRASHING your aquarium, and then done it a second time it strikes me that it's a nurture rather than nature problem. I don't think many give enough credit to children... they are MUCH smarter than most think and it really p1sses me off when people treat their kids like stupid little sub-humans. Try talking to them before a potential catastrophy. In this particular case (after the fact) it's obviously too late. There is no question that discipline is definitely in order, but don't rely on punishment alone as a solution... if you sit down and actually talk (and I mean calmly discuss, NOT lecture) to a 3 year old, you may be suprised how much he/she will understand and retain. Instilling respect in a child fundamentaly requires YOU to show respect to the child. And by no means am I suggesting that some good harsh punishment is inappropriate, it is absolutely necessary. But after they've been made to feel bad about what they've done, actually talk about the situation with them. This all seems very obvious but it seems to me that so many parents neglect to see the true intellegence of their kids and thus fail to give them the respect that they too deserve. Not all kids are "kids!!!" and some have went so far as to say that there are no such thing as bad kids only bad parents

good luck.

 

[adblair]

Do you actually have kids? If you do, then you should surely understand that it is because of their intelligence that kids will be kids. Kids are constantly experimenting with their environment and learning from it. A toddler pouring juice on the floor and playing in it has nothing to do with deliberately disobeying you, it is just an experiment to see how the juice pours/smears/soaks in. Your suggestion that "good harsh punishment" is "absolutely necessary" is, IMO, misguided. You do not know these kids. Only someone who does know them is capable of determining what punishment is appropriate for them. Maybe it is appropriate for SOME kids, but none of us are in a position to determine what is right for THESE kids.

 

[Traci]

Okay, I too have to admit I'm sort of concerned about the level of harshness that you would inflict on children you don't even know. There's sort of a rule of thumb most of us parents go by, and that's that the punishment should fit the crime. And you will note, punishment in the singular. Without knowing this parent, these children, and exactly what happened in the past leading up to this, you would have the man inflict harsh punishment, purposely make them feel bad, and then have a man to man conversation with a 3 year old. Yes, actually, kids are kids. To expect a 3 year old to grasp a series of relatively complicated events relating to cause and effect is ridiculous. They aren't sub-humans, and shouldn't be treated as such, but they aren't adults either and also shouldn't be treated as such.

And basically, it's not your place to comment on how another person is raising their children or the quality of his or her parenting, based on a single instance shared on a forum.

 

[Cearbhaill]

To expect a 3 year old to grasp a series of relatively complicated events relating to cause and effect is ridiculous.

But expecting them to know not to trash another persons belongings is not ridiculous- it is quite necessary.
Basic respect for things not belonging to you is a very important part of living in a society. I don't believe it is ever too soon to teach this.

And basically, it's not your place to comment on how another person is raising their children or the quality of his or her parenting, based on a single instance shared on a forum.

I really find it funny when folks put out their dirty laundry and then complain when people begin to sort through it.
Like whining about what a rogue your husband/boyfriend is and then spending two weeks defending him to those audacious enough to comment.
It would never have come up if the OP had not told the charming story in the first place. We only discuss what's put in front of us.

Edit: I could have sworn this was in GCC- sorry for being off topic.

 

[Traci]

Cearbhaill,

Although I can appreciate your intent in iniating lively debate, I wasn't in fact commenting on your post directly. I believe I did so previously. I was responding to jb_lyndon's post, as I should have made more clear.

In regards to your post, I believe I mentioned that there should be guidelines and there should be consequences, and that that was entirely the perogative of the parent involved. How they involve their children in their aquaria hobby is up to them, and how they reprimand for interfering in the same is also up to them.

In regards to jb_lyndon's post, I believe I was fairly clear on that as well.

Instilling respect of other's belongings as well as their own should be a component of parenting. Agreed. However, you cannot expect (as jb_lyndon would) to have a conversation with a 3 year old about the cycling process, the effects of introducing foreign items into that process, the amount of work required to set up a 150, how their actions stalled the process, wasting 150 g of water, etc. etc. at length, as jb_lyndon suggested. That's ridiculous. Regardless of how precocious a child might be intellectually, he or she is still only a child.

I don't believe matt was complaining in the original post, nor do I think that he was inviting comment on his parenting skills or soliciting advice about raising his children. Plenty of people responded to his post without make sarcastic comments referring to his children as "precious," or "little angels" (a la jb_lyndon) or to quote your post, "little darlins'," or going to pains to point out how a 5 year old and a 3 year old "trashed" his tank. They threw some stuff into an unstocked tank. (Incidentally, the concern should be for safety of the children, not safety of the tank. They didn't take sledgehammers to the thing after all, although there is a real possibility that they might have fallen in.) Matt called no harm, no foul, I assume he took appropriate action with his children (his appropriate action, not ours), and moved on. He's not the one responding to this, I am. And I still don't think it's anyone's place to tell the man how to discipline his children, particularly not in the manner in which jb_lyndon did.

But that has nothing to do with fish, so let's move on, shall we?

eta - yes I can spell correctly...sometimes

 

[tricksterpup]

Ok, I know this thread is gone way off topic, but I find it very interesting.
I suggest re-reading the thread again and try and see the differences in the responses by sex here. The responses are very different.
I am personally not going to comment on punishment or what to do, since that has been already done and why beat a dead horse?



jim